Pat Cashman 2002 part 1
December 31, 2001
Disc 3
1. Parade Magazine, unusual news of 2001
2. Traffic
3. Resolutions. Pat receives a Mariners Christmas card; so does Paul Harvey. No newspaper column today, Pat cleans home office instead. Reprise of boy suing parents story. Joy Browne spot. Pat: "I thought one and one was three."
4. Pat's story about Rosemary song and student named Rosemary with a control problem. Reaction to boy suing parents story. Carrot Top.
January 1, 2002
New Year's Pre-record, 8:10 - 9:30
5. 12 Days of Christmas, epiphany
6. Bob and Doug McKenzie 12 Days of Christmas
7. Ray Charles song. Pat's elephant trumpet effect.
8. Sylvester Neil's penny collection
9. Weather songs
10. Lisa will be shopping today. Pat: Valentine's is a Hallmark holiday.
11. Parade magazine, worst investment.com
12. Month after Christmas.
13. Parade Magazine 2001
14. Memorials
15. Letterman: Least effective opening lines for telemarketers.
16. Weekly World News car wash story. More Parade Magazine
17. Pat YMCA ad.
January 1, 2002
Part 2, 9:30 - 10:00
(on February 6, 2002 CD)
11. Dramatic music making device. Will Pat cut Lisa in on the deal? Pat will listen to Lisa's show, "But only if you have an afternoon show. I'm not getting up this early anymore." Old Seattle Times afternoon paper. Parade Magazine: best excuse for a hangover
12. Writing the new year on checks. Pat is still writing "Year of the Rat" on his checks. Right now, in real life, Lisa is probably having a headache. "You should have told me yesterday!" Red Sovine: "The Old Pine Tree."
January 17, 2002; 5:30 - 7:25
1. News, lizard bites man. Sports
2. Jerry Van Dyke. Panafax 885.
3. "The Carpenters" song request. (Woody Phillips) Elderly couple at doctor joke.
4. Martha Norwalk, Woody Woodpecker.
5. News: Beer truck full of different kind of "bud." Sports. Money: "The dam's about to break!"
6. Asteroid X Cell phone. Burt Higgins, presidential pretzels. "Let's Do It Again" versions.
7. Staples Singers "Let's Do It Again" discussion.
8. Candy bar song challenge: Eminem. Letterman intro.
9. Letterman: Past headlines involving presidents and snack foods.
10. Sports. Rose in a Baby Ruth.
11. NYC fire memorial statue.
12. "Smile!" Pat: "If you say so." Quiznos. More memorial discussion.
13. Top of hour
14. Sports. Thermometer's bushings is wore.
15. Ted Crackerwagon from Olympia. Certainteed ad.
16. Scott Cartie: Enron items on Ebay.
17. Scan Quest. Big Tom, from Survivor. Billy and Nancy.
January 17, 2002
Part 2, 7:28 - 8:30
1. Man in hot air baloon joke
2. Sports
3. Man gives dog CPR. Mouth to Nancy resuscitation
4. Soy bar ad, take one. (Gee, I wonder why they aren't a sponsor any more!) Bronco call, gave CPR to his pet.
5. "Watch that fat burn away!"
6. Soy bar ad, take two.
7. Traffic.
8. Survivor guest coming up. Luxury items in Survivor; Lisa's item would be of a personal hygiene nature.
9. Frank Capsun, police guild memorial
10. Auction for surviving family members of law enforcement.
January 18, 2002
5:30...
11. Stout Hearted Men. Shaving legs. Pat sounds like Gary.
12. Red Cross interview intro.
13.
14.
15. News, time caps. Sports
16. John Miller, current events. Osama bin Laden.
17. Ambiente.
January 17, 2002
8:30 - 10
Side 1
Duke of the harp.
Gutter Helmet: 12 inch tall friends?
Enron explained
"She Falls Apart"
Talaban Prisoners.
Side 2
Survivor, Big Tom replay
UW to play "Cal?"
Treatment of Taliban prisoners
Weisbaum explains Hershey's contest
January 18, 2002
6:25 - 8:15
1. Letterman: Ways to annoy Barbara Walters
2. Bottom of hour
3. Sports
4. Jay Insle. new airport regulations. Pat has poor answer to explosive dogs.
5. Airport security
6.
7. Sports
8. Lisa hates Bob Dylan
9. Snow Dogs. Quizno's. More Bob Dylan.
10. Taps for JFK.
11. Sports
12. Jason plug.
13. Skipping CD and fix. North by Northwest. Jason in Boise.
14. Scan Quest: Pat's wife never tells him its going to hurt. Jason: "Snow Dogs," short review.
15. Kevin Costner is a hottie. Harrison Ford and Minnie Driver
16.
17. "O Brother Where Art Thou?" gift. Coen Brothers tax commercial. Beatles' song? Tacks Man.
January 18, 2002
Part 3
1. Sleepers in Seattle. "Friends" discussion
2. Bottom of hour
January 21, 2002
Part 1
3. MLK Day. Pat not allowed to complain
4. Golden Globes
5. MLK Speech
6. Sports
7. Lisa Entertainment Report
8. MLK Day. Farmer Kevin
9. "American Woman." John Adams bio.
10. Sports
11. Lisa Foster Show?
12. MLK speech
13. Letterman: Ways to make military life more fun.
14. More MLK speech
15. Sports
16. Afghanistan. Birthday for one year old.
January 18, 2002
8:30 - 10
Side 1
Bud Selig bloating and flatulence
Top secret women
Fred Hopkins autograph hunting
"Beast From Haunted Cave."
Survivor: parasites and tape worms.
Interview with two-headed person.
Tape worm joke.
Side 2
Insley rerun.
John Miller rerun
Billy Crystal as Mohammed Ali.
January 21, 2002
Part 2
1. More MLK speech. Beautiful Mind on Golden Globes; Gary's review. Charlie Sheen compared winning to drugs.
2. Bottom of hour.
3. Sports
4. Chinoise Cafe, with Gary Hoffman. Televised court case?
5. Televised execution bit.
6. Perry Mason.
7 Traffic.
8. Entertainment Report tease. Lisa is not cranky. Golden Globes, Joan Rivers and daughter. Where were old Hollywood actors?
9. Lisa Entertainment Report!
10. More MLK speech
January 22, 2002
6:10 - 6:56
11. Ski preparations. News music played for Quizno's ad.
12. Olympic Torch
13. Emerald Queen performers. Elvis and Nixon photo. A&E Comedian. Pat and Lisa are doofuses in their commercial
14. I. M. Healthy Soy Nut Butter. Telemarketers. Pat wrecks Dione Warwick song: "Never Love This Way Again."
January 21, 2002
8:30 - 10
Side 1
John Levesque: quick cancelations, Golden Globes.
Pat's wife sick after restaurant opening.
Moulin Rouge.
Side 2
Herb Weisbaum gives advice on Pat's wife being sick at restaurant.
Dissenting MLK Day call.
Dumb Golden Globe song
Golden Globe sound clips.
January 22, 2002
Part 2
1. News, "IT" exemption
2. Telemarketers
3. Lisa's solution for telemarketers: "I already have it." Pat tests this out.
4. Creative telemarketer hang-ups.
5. Sports
6. Chinoise Cafe.
7. More telemarketer cures.
8. When a telemarketer calls, Shmoo sounds like five year old. Also Adam from Capitol Hill.
9. Sound effects against telemarketers.
10. Traffic
11. K-Mart troubles
12. Roy D. Mercer, "turs" crank call, to end.
13. Crank call continued, to bottom of hour.
14. Sports
15. Incontinence ad, with sound effects. Miki, a woman's age. Alternate meanings for existing words. Lighten up.
16. Pat is in favor of snoring.
January 22, 2002
1. "A whole lot of news." Birthdays.
2. Sports
3. Rules for real men. Sports Illustrated jinx. Pat smoking on Almost Live.
January 24, 2002
6:55...
4. Booker T & the M. G.'s. Three Stooges
5. 10CC song. Hate Mail: from Kim and Deborah, ADD & frequent urination ads.
6. Scan Quest. Fosters, Australian for beer. Burt Higgins.
7. Letterman: Things said to Dave on the street.
8. Sports
9. Jim Hickey, American Taliban. Soy Nut Butter.
10. "My Doctor." The Guess Who. Good/bad cholesterol. Lisa's boil scabbed over. Pat thinks Gary has the prettiest cuticles.
11. Pat concerned about Stress Incontinence. Health concerns: "Someone has to pay for these thighs." Cities that consume the most butter.
12. Sports
13. Involuntary Urination
14. Tech News.
15. People selling Olympic torch
16. Sports
January 24, 2002
Part 2
1. Involuntary Urination. Donovan rhymes. Olympic torch. Pat runs like a duck.
2. Wizard of Oz. Junk food.
3. Foss shipped torch from Tacoma to Des Moines.
4. Traffic
5. Fashion sense. Recycling dirty diapers.
6. Fun with commercial segue. Pat as a kid finds toilet full of dirty diaper. Diaper is like a taco from Hell.
7. News: pork with spinach genes. Sports
8. Dirty diaper joke
9. Chinoise Cafe. "Kick-ass sauce."
10. Miria Carrey troubles.
11. Problem Urination redux.
January 25, 2002
6:55...
12. Stephen King's Rose Red; John Levesque bad review. Lisa was roommate of Shelly Duvall?
13. Birthdays.
14. Any calls? Neil Diamond songs. Show.
15. Bad grammar in Bread songs. Shoplifting; Bruce opinion against Lisa. Tom call: Billy Joel rhyme.
16. Bottom of hour
January 24, 2002
9:00 - 10:00
1. Weather
2. Skull found in Auburn. Ann Landers and confidential mail: birthday cards full of confetti.
3. Free Wynona Ryder. Shoplifting. Gary went to high school with Wynona.
4. Man boards plane with knife and calls a talk show to talk about it.
5. Eating before paying at grocery. Man waited in Sears forever to pay for coper wire. Weigh people coming and going in grocery store? Trisha from Suquamish call on topic: "Lisa's right, you're wrong." "What is wrong with you people!?"
6. More debate. Nobody is on Pat's side. Deli argument. Restaurant argument. Pat feels like he's Ali Baba in the den of theves. Openly robbing a bank.
7. Pat is hard nosed in a good way. "You break it, you've bought it."
January 25, 2002
Part 2
1. News: alcohol is good for you. Sports. Burpie Hill Road.
2. Jason Valentine, still on road, cheap cell phone. Pat and Lisa tease him about not being a good enough friend to show up in person. They mention Bambi to make him cry. Review: "Count of Monte Cristo"
3. More Bambi, other ways Bambi could have died. Lisa cries at all movies where the mom dies.
4. McArthur Park, Donna Summer.
5. Traffic
6. Rose Red location, interview with bed and breakfast owner.
7. Gutter Helmet. "Hair and beer cans in your gutter." Michael Jordan endorsements. $200 shoes.
8. Bottom of hour. "'Scuse me."
9. Sports
10. Fred Hopkins, schmoozing in hollywood. Hugged Carrie Fisher. Is this the first time he's reviewed "Leaches?" Ambiente, "Electric" selection.
11. "We're back?" Martha call, former client. Hopkins review: "Attack of the Leaches."
12. Top of hour
13. Should you smile or weep through the pain? Bad for your colin. Edith Bouvia Beal passing. "Gray Gardens." Pat's family.
14. Letterman intro
15. Letterman: Ideas to fight terrorism.
16. Cisco Kid. Enron death.
17. News, parrot abuse.
January 25, 2002
Part 3, to 10:00
1. Yma Sumac. Dave Dudley, post 9/11 songs
2. More Dudley, in Germany
3. "Come on Foster, it's easy money!"
February 1, 2002
5:20...
4. Bill Deal movie reviews: Birthday Girl, Slackers
5. Dangerous times. Your greatest fear? Local terror targets. Lisa doesn't want to go after terrorists; debate with Pat
6. More terror
7. Sports: Worst in the Pac-10
8. Frank Smithe Interview
9. February is not very tall at all.
10. Letterman: Reasons I love America
11. Sports
12. More on Seattle being a terror target, Pat and Lisa debate. These are dangerous times.
February 1, 2002
6:50 - 8:00
1. More on fighting terrorism. Call from a Canadian.
2. Miki call
3. Sports
4. Brad Beagleman: Valentines Day Special. Daniel Pearl missing. Gutter Helmet
5. Award winning show? Price is Right anniversary special. Jessie Ventura: The Musical.
6. Bottom of hour
7. Sports
8. Jason Valentine, he's at Mount Baker, still on phone. Pat goes on phone too.
9. Scan Quest, Pat still on phone as testimonial. (i. e., Pat interviews himself, openly this time.) Jason and Pat still on phone. Jason review: Slackers
10. J. P. Patches e-mail: Wal-Mart wine.
January 1, 2002
End of New Year's prerecord, finally committed to CD after I found some room
11. Dramatic music making device. Will Pat cut Lisa in on the deal? Pat will listen to Lisa's show, "But only if you have an afternoon show. I'm not getting up this early anymore." Old Seattle Times afternoon paper. Parade Magazine: best excuse for a hangover
12. Writing the new year on checks. Pat is still writing "Year of the Rat" on his checks. Right now, in real life, Lisa is probably having a headache. "You should have told me yesterday!" Red Sovine: "The Old Pine Tree."
February 4, 2002
9:00 - 10:00
1. Enron (Linda Lay sob story). Tim Eyman press conference
2. SNL parody songs
3. Letterman: career highlights. Eyman news.
4. Venus & Mars, John Gray
5. Herrold Russell obit. Shirley call, on grammar, pronunciation of "Febu'y" and "Warrrrshington." Pat is glad when someone can catch the balls that go between his legs.
6. Three-legged skater.
February 6, 2002
6:15 - 7:15
7. Weather. Cafe Appacianto
8. Olympic WTC flag controversy
9. Bottom of hour
10. Sports
11. Chinoise Cafe, Pat eats in studio.
12. Letterman intro
13. Letterman: Talliban complaints. Pat bit: dead celebrities book
14. Scan Quest. Interview: freeze-drying pets.
15. More freeze-drying. Lisa and glass eye.
16. Spots.
17. Interview: Robert Young Pelton, "World's Most Dangerous Places."
February 6, 2002
7:15 - 9:20
1. O'Neil Plumbing. Romantic Giveaway. "What's that smell?" Kenny Lay parody
2. Frasier: Daphne & Niles Proposal. Freddy Jackson: "You Are My Lady." (Pat: "Get to the point!!")
3. Sports
4. Pat's accents. Rocket In My Pocket. Miss Cleo crank call.
5. Malcolm In the Middle
6. Top of hour
7. Traffic
8. Tim Sheld, Winter Olympics flag controversy.
9. Pat can't record TV shows any more. Pat talks like his aunt: "I know!"
10. West Wing
11. Sports
12. Clorospar 2000, version 1. James Brown toy. Psychic fly. Are you coming back as a fly? Joke by Clem from Auburn.
13. Disclaimer. More psychic fly.
14. Top of hour
15. Safeco Field mit. Jean Godden is lame: she stole a line from Gary Hoffman. Pat thinks they are trying too hard.
16. Quiznos.
February 6, 2002
Side 1
9:15 - 10:00
Herb Weisbaum p0rn
New Survivor
Greta Van Sustern new look
Side 2
blank
February 11, 2002
5:30 - 8:30
5:37 Show to be more formal and polished. Lisa can't follow the script.
Weather: mostly sunny, except for rain and snow.
Printer goes down.
Minnie the Moocher: heart as big as a whale?
Pat on vacation tomorrow.
Birthday wish conference call.
"Possible" streaming
Olympic embroidery
6:10 Marti Gras, Pat doesn't like large summer celebrations. "You can smell people."
Ambiente
6:20 Lisa Foster Entertainment Report
Letterman: Cool things about being in the Air Force.
Pat making fun of serious, romantic song.
6:37 Band, swinging medallions.
Olympics ratings, delayed coverage. Canadian coverage. Gary's Canadian accent. Jim McKay
"It's so cold, you have to put that 'bra thing' on the faucets."
Pat predicts delayed Monday Night Football plays for his son.
7:10 Lisa flub: "paiting scares"
Lots of callers for Pat's topic? No, they're calling for the contest.
Romantic getaway contest, Pat's cupid outfit.
More Olympics
7:35 Mt. Rainier didn't erupt.
No Gary Hoffman money report.
7:39 "Quit Playing Games With My Heart."
Skater falls down.
Thiland skater.
7:59 Blyseum ad
8:10 Meter maids are running early.
Parking issues. Larry writes about chicken commercials. Pat gets free chickens. The Pig tease.
8:20 The Pig!
8:27 Pat going on vacation, will he be taking Billy & Nancy? Herb Weisbaum Typo: "Many women feel 'tied.'"
February 11, 2002
8:30 - 10
Side 1
John Levesque: Olympics, shows not starting on time.
Miki: Pat takes too many vacations.
Dysfunctional Olympics.
Richard Peterson
Taylor Vito, job shadow. What size pants does Pat wear?
Side 2
Man taking down lights from the poplar doppler.
Richard Peterson's 319th meeting with Pat.
Interview with man taking down lights.
Coming up on Herb's show: the best chocolates. Lisa wanted to taste test chocolate. Not all chocolate the same. Pat: "Oh, I know!!"
Razzie awards.
Lisa Entertainment Report.
What's that tooting sound? It's Pat's cell phone on vibrate.
February 13, 2002
5:30 - 8:30
Gary Hoffman in for Pat
5:40 Winter Olympics
5:50 Gary mad at TV reporters for building up to Marti Gras coverage. Lisa hates crowds at the RV show.
5:56 Pat Washington Chicken ad: Business news
5:58 Gary says Valentines Day is not good for everyone. Lisa: "Why are you looking at me?"
6:10 So You've Been Dumped.com
6:20 Dr. Joyce Brothers: dumping techniques. Gary's breakup story
6:38 Lisa keeps mementos from former loves. Ron: "Guys don't keep all the 'mushy crap.'" Lisa: "The country goose collection has got to go."
6:47 "Herb"-al breast enhancers.
6:56 Washington Chicken: Too pooped to cook.
7:08 Price Waterhouse spokesman
7:15 More on animal pre-digested coffee beans
7:36 Letterman: Things heard in line for Late Show
Tim Sheld, Olympics
7:49 Kofe Luac (poop) coffee interview
7:58 Coffee taste test.
8:10 American Talliban
8:19 Miss America not happy.
Lisa Foster slot machine? Based on hair color.
8:27 Real story of Three Bears.
February 13, 2002
8:30 - 10
Side 1
More breakup stories
9:08 Oscar show, make check out to Gary Hoffman
Fairy Godmothers.
Side 2
Curling is like bowling
Ice skating drags on and on.
Barbershop Quartet.
February 14, 2002
5:30 - 8:30
Gary in for Pat
5:36 Gary: "Flattening her [Lisa's] hills."
Waylon Jennings
Olympics controversy
5:50 Lisa and Valentines for her dogs.
5:57 Newspaper classified Valentines ads. Gary's pet name is "Stinky Pants."
6:09 Dave Fry, Westminster dog show.
6:27 Letterman: Signs your Olympic event is fixed.
6:40 Dog show talk.
Classified Valentines, pet names.
6:45 Top romance movies, Entertainment Weekly.
6:58 Helper of too-fat luge athlete gets finger cut off
7:10 Sheri Byrd, kissing school
7:23 Scott Cartie
7:40 Naked Person Story of the Day
Olympics
7:50 Mike Tyson
8:10 Waylon Jennings
8:20 Origins of Valentine's Day
Is it appropriate to give Valentines to boss?
8:27 Pickup lines that don't work
February 14, 2002
8:30 - 10
Side 1
What "It's a Wonderful World" means to Lisa (ex-boyfriend song).
Practical woman hates Valentine's Day.
Yarn festival.
Woman wrapped in Saran Wrap.
Side 2
Lisa is eating Kisses.
Gary's wife and son call.
Things you don't say at Victoria's Secret.
10 Clues when to leave party.
Classmates.com
Kissing school
February 15, 2002
5:30 - 7:30
Olympics, skate controversy. Valentine's tricks and traps.
5:50 Lisa not wearing shoes, stubbed her toe. Why not work in pajamas? Lisa's ingrown toenail
Mike Tyson to fight in Tacoma?
6:09 Ingrown toenail calls, Gary might faint. Big shot in the toe. Lisa's "stank foot."
6:22 The Sound of the Music play banned in Levenworth. NFL blackout banned in Washington
Letterman: Reasons I joined the Marines.
6:38 Gary's dad's birthday. Did he send him a card? More Mike Tyson in Tacoma.
6:50 Call from Chico. Word usage: "drive truck," "incidences"
Olympic Embroydery recorded ad.
6:58 Is Gary filling in for Brian Poore? Lisa defines "incidence," dictionary does not say you can't add "s."
7:08 Skin tight skate suit looked like skinless body.
7:15 Romatic Givaway: men can get out of their Valentine's traps, Lisa rolls her eyes. Do all women want to get married? More Olympics controversy.
7:28 Skater had most masculine suit, blew it all on the two-fingered wave.
7:37 Tim Sheld, Olympics
7:49 Lisa's dream: hair on her chest. Interpretation: she is turning into a man.
8:10 Gary rant on personal group e-mail at work. Lisa: "Stop it!!"
8:19 E-mails
Lisa's dogs, CC the cloned cat.
February 15, 2002
8:30 - 10
Side 1
CC the cat.
Colin Powel and condoms.
Fred Hopkins, Father Guido Sarduchi.
Review: "The Giant Gelia Monster" (1959)
Britney Spears a virgin? Lisa says you're not missing much.
9:08: Olympics controversy.
Wiener shortage at Olympics.
Rob McKenna, car tabs.
Side 2
Art Saunders is the only man Gary would luge with.
Why double's luge? Gary uncomfortable with men so close together.
More dream analysis. Interview with doctor, riding a doughnut on the Autobaun slaying dragons.
February 19, 2002
5:30 - 7:30
1. Gary in for Pat. Gary broke Pat's board, Stout Hearted Men still doesn't work. News of the day.
2. Great Harvest Bread
3. People talking to pets. Lisa's dogs, Gary's cat Kevin
4. Pet call
5. Lisa dog Missy snores. Gary plays sound effects to tease Lisa's dogs listening at home.
6. Gary's cat played with a golf ball in the middle of the night.
7. Letterman: Ways to make curling more exciting.
8. Mark Klass interview
9. 51-OFF-BY calls: Complaint about Lisa's Britney Spears comment (reference to February 15, 8:50). Complement: put Gary on the afternoons. Also, complaint about show giving wrong times.
10. Men buying pantyhose.
11. Olympics: ice dancing is not a sport. Skating controversy.
12. Contest. Winner: Ray from Ballard. Hawaiian Airlines bomb threat: Lisa would rather know the truth.
13. Bentley Center
February 19, 2002
Part 2
1. Olympics. Ice dancing
2. Gutter Helmet
3. Curling explained
4.
5. 51-OFF-BY call from Calvin. Presidential pole. Anamatronic presidents.
6. O'Neil Plumbing. People talking to pets. Gary teases Lisa's dogs at home.
7. Cat call, cat opens doors
February 20, 2002
5:30 - 6:30
8. Someone's been messing with Lisa's computer. Does Gary like skating or not?
9. Great Harvest Bread.
10. Olympics. Aerodynamic suits. "You can't hide anything in there." Palindrome date.
11. Britney Spears spoof movie.
12. Train fire. Students grading each other's papers.
13. Ambiente
14. Bomb thread airplane.
15. Emergency Alert System test. Letterman intro.
16. Letterman: Signs your Fed-Ex man is in love with you
17. Chinoise Cafe
February 19, 2002
8:30 - 10
Side 1
Man of constant flushing
Man's cat obsessed with flushing the toilet.
More pets and sleeping stories.
Exorcising
9:10 Interview with Satan
Side 2
Polly Klass interview rerun
Men buying pantyhose; would men buy feminine hygiene products?
Jeb from Redmond call on men buying women's stuff
February 20, 2002
6:30 - 8:30
1. Richard Lewis interview
2. Cafe Appacianato
3. Airport security worker falls asleep.
4. Olympics. Auction of first It/Ginger.
5. Lighten Up. Contest. Product recalls
6. Story of man stuck in toilet is not true.
7. Commercial: eliminates free radicals. Tim Sheild: the skeleton
8. Urban Legends
9. Harry from Lake City's birthday. High school threat.
10. Gutter Helmet
11. More on Inglemore High School threat. Gary thinks nothing much will come of it.
February 20, 2002
8:30 - 10
Side 1
Does Gary like figure skating?
First black athlete to win winter gold.
Camp X-Ray legal suit
Women sue Osama bin Laden
Britney Spears deleted scene.
Aliens in Salt Lake City?
Side 2
Clem: Top 10 things Gary Condit will find if re-elected.
Plus-size Barbie.
February 21, 2002
Part 1
Pat and Steve Wilson
1. Pat's dream. Strip search. KOMO commercial re-edited
2. Mexican TV, "shocking" sit-com. Pat jogs into golf course, meets crocodiles
3. Sports
4. Skeleton. Kids sliding, rolling in barrels.
5. Scan Quest.
6. William Shatner, "Very Good Year."
7. Letterman: Ways to improve New York City, with Mike Bloomberg.
8. Sports
9. Olympics. Potholes. Georgia crematorium.
10. Great Harvest. Figure skating author.
11. Top of hour
12. Sports.
13. Aligators in Mexico.
14. Contest. New ABC reality show.
15. Eric Burden on Northwest Afternoon.
February 21, 2002
Part 2
1. News: man wins in casino, dies. Sports: "Nuts!!"
2. Olympics. Faux soul patches. Chinoise: is the spider roll a new Olympic event?
3. John Curley on soul patches. "Let me hike my pants up."
4. Van Helen intro for Paul Harvey
5. Money report
6. 17 inch dog tongue. Deborah Winetrob, Weekly World News: talking French fry.
7. Disclaimer. Beat Farmers: "Happy Boy" Question on patches.
February 22, 2002
Part 1
8. Daniel Pearl R.I.P.
9. Scan Quest. Difference between CBC and NBC Olympics coverage.
10. News: prison food strike. Sports.
11. Days getting longer? No, it's just an illusion from the hours of daylight getting longer. Herb Weisbaum's "wee" consumer show? Oscar Party. KOMO has no secretaries, no bench. Cafe Appacianto.
12. Brad Beagleman: buzzard analogy (interrupted).
13. Letterman: good things about being stationed in Kandahar.
14. Sports.
February 21, 2002
8:30 - 10
Side 1
News: Suspicious package turns out to be gumbo.
Kids and dirty houses
Dangerous stunts kids do.
Barrel of acid and excrement.
Call from Nate: bike stunt
Gary: is it extraction or derivation?
Girl Scout Cookies. Short and tall people.
Side 2
Moving to Mexico?
Pat lost in Mexico.
News: Singing George Bush?
Popular cookies.
Kids sports.
Mt. Si run.
Uncle Charlie
Pat's son Chris' BB gun fights.
February 22, 2002
Part 2
1. Animal shelter. Pat's needy cat.
2. 78s. World Trade Center items on E-bay
3. News: movie theater robber, not Jason Valentine. Sports.
4. More World Trade Center E-bay.
5. Contest. Cupid outfit is gamey, chafing. Pat's phone vibrates on the air: coffee gopher spilled coffee.
6. Jessica visited all 50 states.
7. Sports. Frankford/Frankfort.
8. Olympics, rivalries. Ambiente Tile & Steve's house.
9. Jason Valentine: Olympics on TiVo. Review: "John Q" Pat at little leagues. Advertisements give away the movie.
10. Sports. Pat's Russian accent.
11. Tom Rivers: Daniel Pearl
12. Derek McFadden, former job shadow, suggests rainy day songs, but Pat says they're stupid. Derek sings along with song, talks of Internet radio show and monotone annoucer who drove to Cle Ellum to buy gas.
13. Who's On First parody: rock bands, Who, Guess Who and Yes.
14. Sports
15. Traffic?
February 28, 2002
5:30 - 7:30
5:30 - 6:00
Grammies, earthquake anniversary
Human microchip implantation
Lisa had to evacuate KOMO during quake
6:08 Grammies review
Wrong forecast
6:20 Establishment country shutout, long-term repercussions
Pat and Gary sing in car.
6:25 Tab Tabscot call, bluegrass.
Letterman: new Elvis theme resort
6:38 Remembering earthquake. Preventing home damage
6:47 Lisa's home interior damaged last year, dogs okay.
6:50 Burt Higgins
6:55 Arthur e-mail: Tacoma Dome name sponsorship ideas.
6:59 Grammy clip, cello.
7:05 Two headed fish.
7:08 Willoby liposuckson
More Grammies
Scott Cartie
7:15 Men outside, no coat, 37 degrees.
7:20 Getaway contest, Pat's cupid outfit chafing
7:28 Backstreet Boys crowded around one mic reading teleprompter.
(7:30 - 8:30 missing due to operator incompetence.)
February 28, 2002
8:30 - 10
Side 1
I. D. chip interview rerun
West Seattle Indians mascot change
What to replace West Seattle Indians with?
Renton High School changed to The Chickens?
Side 2
Grammies
News: Severed "man part." Nancy chimes in.
More mascots.
The Bellevue ATMs
March 1, 2002
5:30 - 7:30
1. Mike Murphy back. Calling in sick. Shadow Government. Tax audit
2. Scan Quest.
3. Survivor, magnifying glass. Friends clips.
4. Survivor
5. Sports
6. Shadow government.
7. Shadow government.
8. Letterman, U. S. Navy
9. Sports
10. March, in like a chinchilla and a three toed sloth. Lisa thought it was a cold winter. Is Lisa in menopause? Shadow morning show, sounds like Mike Murphy. Pat asked to run for Seattle City Council.
11. President Nixon tapes: nuke Vietnam.
12. More shadow morning show.
13. Sports
14. Shadow Starbucks: Tully's. More shadow show, Billy and Nancy; Lisa ruins the bit. Ray from Fircrest sings!
15. Romantic Getaway Giveaway. Shadow government answer. High school mascots. Why are there no white people's clubs?
16. More shadow government.
17. Sports.
March 1, 2002
7:30 - 8:30
1. Shadow Jason. Jason Valentine. Survivor
2. Jason review: "Queen of the Damned."
3. Ilea
4. West Seattle mascot controversy. Renton Chickens? Eight numbers in the Deli-Subs phone number? ABC late night issue, Letterman. Lisa's mascot was the Vintage Crushers, will need a credit card to give details.
5. Carl from Bellingham, hates Letterman list. He loves Navy beans and will give report later.
March 11, 2002
5:30 - 6:35
6. 9/11 6 month observation.
7. Clips from 9/11 documentary
8.
9. Sports
10. Anne Compton, was on Air Force One on 9/11
11.
12. Letterman: Features of Elvis Theme Resort
13. Sports.
March 1, 2002
8:30 - 10
Side 1
Gary: "Susan West--er, Stan Orchard."
March came in like...?
Fred Hopkins: "Curse of the Crying Woman"
Colin sets speed record for reading "Green Eggs and Ham."
Side 2
Clem: Top 10 other shadow organizations.
More shadow morning show.
Bob Dylan, Louis Armstrong.
Men outside without coats are more manly.
Miss Congeniality in a fight.
"Think Smart and Succeed"
Johnny Yuma.
March 4, 2002
5:30 - 8:30
5:30
Government program for teen abstinence.
5:45 Garbage archeology
6:10 Buster Hump on shadow government.
Letterman: TGI Friday's
6:34 Chinoise Cafe
John Bascum, military update.
6:48 Cafe Appacinanto: Lisa grinds her teeth
6:50 Lisa Foster Entertainment Report: pig sty.
7:08 Pat remembers KOMO's first day 75 years ago
I.Q. tests for kids. Mom faked kid's test
7:15 Pat calls his mom about I.Q.
7:22 More Pat's mom.
7:38 Elliot Grand Hotel
More Kid I.Q. Gary skipped second grade
8:10 Ghostbusters song a rip-off of Huey Lewis and the News?
Movie "Evolution" blows, according to Lisa
8:17 Gutter Helmet at bowling alley.
Letterman to move to ABC?
8:29 Ozzy Osbourne reality show.
March 4, 2002
8:30 - 10
Side 1
John Levesque: Ozzy Osbourne reality show, Alan Smithee.
WTC flag owner request.
Side 2
Ronald and Nancy Regan 50th anniversary
J. P. Patches theme songs.
Lisa Entertainment Report.
Letterman to move to ABC?
Pat's cousin invented a remote
Dissecting Letterman list with Amy.
March 5, 2002
5:30 - 8:30
Harlan Howard, "Fall to Pieces," "Busted"
Lisa Exercising story, swimming suit and hygiene liner
Pat's noisy knees
War casualties
Coming up: Ray in Fircrest.
5:55 Jack Handy sayings.
6:08 Darren Reynolds at N' Sync concert, saw Britney Spears. ("Ooooohhh!")
6:20 Chicken Fat coming up
6:22 Pet obituaries, coworker with picture of dog.
6:25 Chicken Fat
6:29 Letterman: Signs you're not one of the most influential people
6:38 Pat experiment: "Heidi, heidi, heidi, hi"
State budget. Lisa voted against stadium.
6:50 Everybody Loves Raymond clips
6:56 Pat & Lisa for Olympic Embroidery
6:57 Freeze will ruin Lisa's plants
7:08 Bruce Crandal, Vietnam vet, writer for "We Were Soldiers."
7:25 Ray in Fircrest: Henry Kissnger singing Mr. Ed theme song.
7:35 Lisa rushed back from bathroom. Should they put a Sani-Can in studio?
Mike "Murray"
7:38 The Pig! Pat hopes The Pig will change, so Lisa thinks Pat is thinking like a woman.
7:43 Lisa keeps things from old boyfriends, needs a ritual burning. Gary's quilt from his mother-in-law is now a paint rag.
7:48 People carrying umbrellas outside. Lisa: "You're a wimp!"
Pat's kids throw away pictures.
Call from Ken, "long blonde hair."
7:53 Katy Evens kept house from last relationship. Man kept personal sex tape, kids found it.
7:57 "Fast Girl's colon."
8:10 Promiscuous girls in high school
8:27 Susan Powter and Herb Weisbaum to Indian leg wrestle. Lisa has issues with Hellouise of Hints with Hellouise.
March 5, 2002
8:30 - 10:00
Side 1
Ted Kopple op-ed piece on ABC News & David Letterman negotiations
John Belusihi clip.
Interview with man who fell down well at golf course.
Lisa moved to Washington because there are no poisonous snakes here. "Are there any poisonous snakes here?"
Blackhawk Down interview rerun.
Quiznos just like mom. Does your mom wear rubber gloves?
Side 2
Commercials with ticking sounds where time runs out.
Miki response to listener call on Martin Luther King Day. Furniture reproductions made by slaves.
Federal Way wants to improve image. Pat replays the Federal Way massage parlor bit, cutting out references to Dustin Hornby.
Celebrity boxing. Karen from Capitol Hill suggestions.
"It's Over" goof.
March 11, 2002
6:38 - 8:00
1. The Sphere. More 9/11 documentary clips. Tim Sheld. Tribute in light.
2.
3. Sports
4. Bush speech.
5. Sports
6.
7.
March 26, 2002
8:55 - 9:00
8. Lisa and the oyster slurp-off, joined in progress
9. Worlds oldest man.
March 26, 2002
9:05 - 10:00
1. Celine Dione in Las Vegas. WTC victim. Kava found to be dangerous.
2. California Closets
3. Don't stop making Joint-Ritus! Bee pollen.
4. Bottom of hour
5. That's Amore, alternate lyrics. "Yes, We Have No Bananas"
7. Honey. Gary gets the joke
March 27, 2002
5:30 - 6:30
8. Promo, show too big to talk about.
9. Show start. Pat sounds like a broken record, or scratched CD. Good looking weather people are just there for eye candy.
10. Pat's life was unstructured
11. Sports
12. More on Ridgewood, New Jersey and a day set aside for families. Pat doesn't impose too many activities on his kids. Pat was fastest kid in school, was beaten by a girl.
13. More on structured activities. Mayor of Ridgewood.
14. Sports
15. Letterman intro.
16. Letterman: Things Jim Broadbent did after getting Academy Award.
March 27, 2002
6:35 - 8:30
1. Oyster slurp results. Lisa is the winner?
2. WTC flag. Mayor Magic Johnson? Jerry Springer Show suit.
3. New TV shows.
4. News: German tourist. Sports
5. Lisa does not cook. Pat makes a "bread dish." Emeral Lagosi interview? Interview scheduled for tomorrow. Steve Wilson's penance. R-rated movies in Federal Way schools. Dan from Federal Way.
6. O'Neil Plumbing. Captured commercial. Man Who Shot Liberty Valance. Movies in school.
7. Bottom of hour
8. Sports
9. Roller organ, Cobb organ music.
10. William Collier
11. More movies in school. Liberty Valance explained. Federal Way school teacher. Pat's mistake... "What mistake?" Rodda Paint, "W'outa paint."
12. Quizzno's; Pat salivates. Interview with Federal Way teachers; they say non-rated movies, and thus all pre-1968 movies, are not allowed to be shown.
13. Top of hour
14. More on questioned Lisa oyster slurp results.
15. Pat's IQ and Mom interview replay.
16. Gutter Helmet, Pat's father in law.
March 27, 2002
8:35 - 9:20
Pat and Steve missed yesterday's Gary Sandy interview.
Seattle Monorail update.
Elvis rode the Monorail.
Rod Danz update, similar to David Byrne
9:08: The Pig!
Pat gets static shock in studio when he wears shoes.
More on free time topic
(Rest of show missing due to operator's bone-headed mistake)
April 1, 2002
Monday, April Fool's Day
Part 1: 5:30 - 7:30
1. Easter memories, egg hunts. Be careful with pranks
2. Edna call: Satanic feminist? Queen Mum; the royal succession plan is confusing for Lisa.
3. Seattle city council's novel plan: paint the town Emerald City green.
4. Sports
5. Tom Rivers: Israeli war, Queen Mum.
6. Great Harvest Bread. Bartell's circular
7. Letterman: Things you would not like to hear in a New York City cab.
8. Sports. Pat hearing voices (Angela Kirby).
9. Casey at the Bat (Vincent Price). Rebecca Kale, Mariners security. Guys can still bring their peanuts in a bag.
10. Lisa Entertainment Report, with Pat's help.
11. Green tease.
12. Gary Hoffman mentions the green issue in his news report. Did Chubby and Tubby make the Fortune 500?
13. Jim Compton interview, on council plan. Pat stumbles over 800 number, no longer the Husky Station.
14. More green
April 1, 2002
Part 2, 7:30 - 9:30
1. Sports
2. William Collier. More green. Joe call, other cities colors. Paint cop cars green so you will feel better about being arrested.
3. Will Bentley Center. Green topic: Pat has been standing up to THE MAN for centuries. Caller: green is institutional.
4. Top of hour
5. News, another serious mention of the green story.
6. Baseball, men in tight pants. House of a different color.
7. Green paint on brick?
8. Bottom of hour
9. Sports
10. John Levesque in studio, talks baseball, Red Sox. Paint green.
11. Mariner's chemistry. More green, Robin Daily paint call.
12. Top of hour
13. In studio, performers from Tiatrozinn Zanni (Dinner and Dreams)
14. Pat doesn't like being pulled out of audience in audience participation shows. More green. Paint chip sheets, different shades of green. Lisa: "Why don't they just paint the streets yellow brick too?" After Pat takes that seriously, she says, "I don't know you anymore." Let the moss grow. Paint the EMP green.
15. Bottom of hour
16. News: Queen Mum. Breast fed babies while operating on them. Pray for sun for open roof.
April 1, 2002
Part 3, 9:30 - 10
1. Lisa: We're selling out our individuality. In Central Oregon: Gillcrest is brown. Lisa: "I'm frightened, Auntie Em." Pat's emotional speech with piano music. Barbara: put crushed green glass on the roofs.
2. Kelly reminds people what day it is. It's possible Pat and everyone planned all this. Why didn't Herb come in with his cape? Tights are too tight. Steve Wilson calls Jim Compton a big fat liar.
3. Be alert for April Fool's pranks. Pat tried the Saran Wrap on the toilet seat trick. April Fools Day origins (newspaper column). Pat falls for the running refrigerator call.
April 2, 2002
7:55 - 8:30
4. WTC tribute at 9:11 at baseball games.
5. Top of hour
6. Sports
7. Jack Haley Jr. birthday, outtake as Tin Woodsman singing. E-mail reaction to April Fool's bit. Angela Kirby late
8. "While supplies last." Bentley Center. Nature Boy song. Middle East update. Final Four riots.
9. Bottom of hour
10. Sports
11. Three strikes laws. Children interviews: What does "Ichiro" mean in English?
12. Putting Peeps in microwave. Trying to destroy Peeps.
13.
14. April Fool's prank reaction. Pat dressed up for Evening Magazine appearance. "Expressing" dogs right in the window. Lisa explains it all, uses the word "anal." O'Neil Plumbing saved Pat's favorite (high flow) toilet.
15. Evening Magazine presentation, for both Pat and Lisa.
16. Bottom of hour.
17. Sports
April 2, 2002
Part 2, 8:30 - 10:00
1. Evening Magazine aftermath. Post-Bhuner M's promotions. Israeli crisis. Lighten-Up radio show with Katie Evans.
2. Sports riot. Author interview (?) Norm Fernes, "How to Riot..."
3. Chris Cashman on WSU riots.
4. Mobil home question. Jay Buhner interview
5. Lisa: "Why do sports players have numbers?"
6. Cussing canoeist tease. Pat flub: "They were incest, er incensed. That would be a bigger story."
7. News Milton Berle memorial. Large metal desk in road. Pat tired of sun.
8. Cussing canoeist legal results. Goofy laws.
9. More goofy laws. Gary: Law against hunting camels in Arizona? They must have been hunted to extinction.
10. Lisa hopes she is not still most eligible bacholette next year.
April 5, 2002
6:10 - 6:30
11. Daylight Savings Time, author interview
12. Ted Crackerwagon, "Fall ahead, spring back." Bush on Middle-East situation
13. Letterman: Signs your kid has a gambling problem
14 Sports
April 5, 2002
6:30 - 8:35
1. Asteroid hits, what if it's your last day on earth? Angela Kirby asks about reincarnation.
2. Middle East
3. Deborah Norval tease. Lisa's impression of her and Pat's "impression" of her.
4. News: lost dog made it thousands of miles to home. Sports
5. Ted Crackerwagon. What happened to Threse Theron? Deborah Norval interview. Crackerwagon.
6. Scan Quest, medical gowns are poorly designed. Herb Weisbaum glamor call.
7. Pat knows the announcer in last spot.
8. News: Okay to marry your cousin.
9. Jason Valentine: yell is longer than music. Pat teases him, will cut him off if he doesn't start reviewing a movie. Ozzy Osbourn at White House. National Lampoon's Van Wilder.
10. Crank call to Bill Gates by Canadians. Governor phone prank.
11. Patty Murry phone prank
12. Lisa stuck behind manure truck. "Pooey, smelly truck." Pat recorded his phone pranks. Susan worked for Dr. Hamburger. Pat called Tom Tom Restaurant
13. Herb asks that you keep his gifts under $50. Pat to give Herb Gutter Helmet. Lisa jealous. Kids and Daylight Savings Time. Crackerwagon.
14. Bottom of hour. "Baby steps."
15. Sports
April 5, 2002
8:38 - 9:20
1. Fred Hopkins: Death Curse of Tartoo. Fred calls Gary Bill. Lisa's Flipper impression
2. Bill Swartz return visit. Lisa vs. Hints from Hellouise.
3. Ted Crackerwagon. One more brief word from Bill.
4. Villi Falau trial. Track interrupted, picked up on tape copy (see below).
April 8, 2002
5:38 - 6:50
5. Music doesn't play, everything goes wrong. Gary: "Weekend pukes!" Daylight Savings Time, Pat: "Pick one time and stick with it!" Colin Powel in Morocco
6. More on dirty studio. Bartell Drug circular. Windows cleaned. Pat cracks his neck, nose.
7. Sports. Sports injury sound effect
8. Daylight Savings Time and Nancy's milk schedule. Tracy Conway tease, heart attack story from 1995.
9. Bob Schmidt, Mid-East news
10. Bottom of hour
11. Sports
12. Galphaphse 2000: Gulletwaddler. Celine Dion special, new boss.
13. Ambiente. Daylight Savings Time. Letterman intro.
April 5, 2002
9:15 - 10:00
Mary Kay Leternou discussion continued.
Quizno's recorded ad, Pat & character ("oh yeah.")
Monroe female police chief fired.
Hair musical ticket giveaway
Asteroid hits, world ends--what would you do? Lisa would not shave, would get naked.
Pat has always wanted to be in a pie fight, but shouldn't have said so on the air.
Caller has been waiting since eight for Pat's teased Survivor update
Survivor update.
April 8, 2002
6:50 - 8:00
1. Letterman: Unusual things that happen when guarding coasts.
2. CD won't cue, Pat pounds on it. Ophra cancels book club.
3. Sports
4. Yma Sumac. Tracey Conway interview, to be on Ophra?
5. More Tracey Conway.
6. New Horizons school
7. Seniors trapped near Mt. St. Hellens
8. Bentley Center. More on senior using walker to get out of woods.
April 10, 2002
5:30 - 6:30
9. Promo
10. Upcoming on today's show.
11. Haley Berry eye injury. John Ashcroft sings on Letterman
12.
13. Sports
14. Mayor Nickels interview
15. The Monks: "Smells Like Teen Spirit." Evaluation of Mayor Nickels
16. Letterman: Accountant euphemisms for sex.
17 Sports.
April 10, 2002
6:38 - 8:38
1. Where in the world is Jessica Tate? 24 in 24. Slow home security response.
2. Amadeaus reissue. Motherhood after 40; Lisa wants a mate who wants children. "Don't waste your eggs."
3. Top of hour. Another day, another priest in the news.
4. Sports
5. More on being single and relationships. Gary: "Pigs!"
6. O'Neil Plumbing. Jeff in Southcenter: There are still men looking to have children. Lisa finds a live one.
7. News: sextuplets, dog bites man. Sports.
8. Voice of the Northwest [cough]. William Collier. "I keep fallin'..." More on parenting, decision to have kids. Julie RB call. Lisa's childhood: not happy with father.
9. Lisa's past husband, boyfriend. Pat "knows people" who have adopted kids. It's harder, except there's no labor.
10. Bentley Center
11. Greg Nickels interview rerun.
12. Nose bob. Transition to Ambiente Tile. Waiting in line for Star Wars.
13. Sports
14. Washington Fryer ad, stuck in traffic.
April 10, 2002
8:32 - 9:35
8. Chinoise Cafe
9. Pat at the Rotary Club meeting. Ken Schram is on a roll, cranky. E-mail that will make you cry: Christmas story.
10. Husky Roofing. John Ashcroft on David Letterman. What you missed on today's show (personal medical ads). Grown in Washington: subliminal advertising
11. Top of hour
12. Stouthearted Men. The Osbournes. Cursing parents. Caller: "Is this Pat?" Nelson Eddie tape request, wedding song.
13. Luis Gonzalles' used chewing gum auction. Lisa tries to do sound effects. Children at 40. Lisa's relationships.
14. News: 14 year old movie reviewer and talk show wars.
April 10, 2002
End
1. New alternative number to 87-HUSKY: UP-HURL-9. Pat takes all the credit (but did credit Arthur Allen on a later date). 24 in 24. "Havin' My Baby." E-mail from Stan (in Lynnwood), adopting from China.
2. Pat to have more children? No, he's already in his 80s. Having children without parental involvement.
3. End.
April 11, 2002
5:30 - 7:30
1. RIP Jack Roberts. Replay of Jack Roberts medical bit. Angela Kirby late. "You nuts!"
2. "F'ed Up Businesses," Philip Kaplan. Sock puppet song.
3. Sports
4. Molesting priests.
5. Lisa wakes Tim for his 16th birthday.
6. Letterman: reasons Ashcroft didn't want to sing.
7. News: Nixon billboard. Sports.
8. Trauma intervention program. Roads are "making out."
9. Burt Higgins
10. The Pig: "My wife is so stupid..."
11. Sports
12. Bob Schmidt, Middle East
13. Leftover warehouse sale. Pat out of breath. More Middle East: Fan Win.
14. Bottom of hour
15. News: digitally altered billboard in "Spiderman." Sports: "No quit in them."
April 11, 2002
7:38 - 8:30
1. Scott Cartie bumped. Illegal MP3s. Con scams
2. Scan Quest. Where in the world is Jessica Tate? 24-hour stores close early.
3. Top of hour. Paul Harvey Impression
4. Guys don't scream well. Pat's friend Dean yelled from the top of the cinder cone.
5. O'Neil Plumbing fixed Pat's toilet! Men and women yelling. Elk tipping.
6. Jack Roberts.
7. Sports
April 15, 2002
5:30 - 6:45
8. Tax day. Filing an extension. Can't write "windy" on the form for extension. Arafat's wife advocates teen suicide bombings.
9. Great Harvest Bread. Music group "Smith."
10. Missed cue. Billy Joel motorcycle accident dramatic recreation. Gary flub. Pat: "What did you say about a fire?"
11. Sports.
12. Shaving Cream. Patriot's Day means automatic tax extension for North-East. Lighten-Up radio show.
13. Lisa Entertainment Report.
14. Letterman: Fun things to do in a jet.
15. Sports
16. Bad night at the movies, for Gary this time.
April 11, 2002
8:32 - 10:00
1. Chinoise Cafe: MSG
2. Song for next Chinoise commercial. Interview rerun introduction.
3. Pat's internet telegraph company. Traffic.
4. Husky Construction, Husky voice. Crossfire: CNN vs Fox.
5. Top of hour.
6. Lisa's face: Zit on cheek. Lisa tried to self-medicate, potato peeler. 101 Dalmatian Band-Aid. Gary put suction cup on his forehead, got a hickey. Pat tried to fix his eyebrow. Cathy in Anacortes burns hole in forehead with chemistry kit.
7. Caller Lisa (not her real name) sanded her butt off. Jane in Lynwood, home tanning idea, forehead swelled up, looked like dolphin.
8. Lisa and Mike Murphy's Flipper impressions. Flipper was a real dolphin, not a cartoon. Rick from Bellevue.
9. News: Bellevue space needles. Manicure gone wrong.
10. Pat has a flap problem. Human shield interview rerun. (2:16 - 8:18) Pat flub: "This is KING... KOMO"
11. Herb Wisebaum: City Light bills. Notices Lisa's zit.
12. Jack Roberts medical parody. End.
April 15, 2002
8:32 - 9:20
13. John Levesque in Vegas. "The Meeting of the Minds." Similar show on IFC. Too many shopping channels! Gutter Helmet.
14. Musician Raymond Hayden, "A Doorway Through Your Tears."
15. Bentley Center.
16. "Cawt a Coit." Mia Farrow blocks use of scenes from her films in Woody Allen documentary. "Changing Lanes" is a guy movie. More on Gary and Lisa at movies. Where to sit in theater? Loud person sat next to Gary. Woman kicks Lisa's chair
April 15, 2002
6:45 - 8:30
1. (previous track continued) Promos give away the movie?
2. Lisa just gives a shoebox to her accountant. Would you get a panic room?
3. Sports: tripple play
4. Ron Star, survivor in woods in B. C.
5. "The Last Waltz." "Night of the Hunter."
6. Sports
7. William Collier
8. Lou Manfredini, house expert. Mold and mildew: a good tease.
9. Wet families. Mold and mildew.
10. Lou appering at... Needs "hair plug number."
11. Top of hour. Mr. Fixit fixing breakfast.
12. Stephen, H&R Block, taxes.
13. Joke by Vic. Lake Crescent old car recovery
14. Bottom of hour, "TV 'n' stuff."
April 16, 2002
5:35 - 5:45
15. Mike Murphy to leave KOMO? Middle East.
April 16, 2002
5:45 - 8:00
1. Great Harvest Bread
2. Sports: Good news/bad news.
3. OK to remove mattress tag. Reign of terror. University District jeweler to close.
4. Mariners
5. Letterman: Ways IRS can improve its image (rerun)
6. Sports
7. Pat reads column about cat and hamster. Stinky garbage truck traffic. Lighten-Up.
8. Pat's column, continued.
9. Sports.
10. Yoyo Ma interview. He wants to be talk show host; Pat says there might be an opening at KOMO. Silk Road project. Clem Phlergm: new mulch blowing job, Top 10 mistakes dumb guys make on Yo Yo Ma's name.
11. Research cloning interview.
12. Sports
13. Hamster trap, "Hamster Love" song. Research cloning discussion. Abortion vs. capital punishment.
14. Bentley Center. More on research cloning.
April 15, 2002
9:21 - 10:00
1. Ambiente. More movie experiences: Don Cannon, voiceover artist. Jeanie has her radio turned up; adult midget at Joy Luck Club.
2. Bottom of hour, Pat heading out.
3. Mariners hecklers. Kris from Seattle can't go to movies with a certain friend. Laughing at inappropriate moments
4. Interview rerun intro.
5. Snowmobiling is fun, but dangerous. Coming up on tomorrow's show.
April 16, 2002
8:35 - 10:00
6. Burt Bacarat album, unusual singers. Sweedish man sues for being called Osma bin Laden. Pat discriminates against people with funny names. University District jeweler to close, interview.
7. Pat needs to test his voice before coming on the air. Scan Quest. Artie Shaw. Miki call about U-District, attacked by a street kid.
8. Boston Marathon, pregnant woman contestant. Pat needs to listen to the radio to distract while exercising. Lisa can't understand why people exercise at all.
9. Baby Ruth/Babe Ruth controversy Caddyshack movie: Baby Ruth in pool. 1958 Mickey Mantle in congress hearing.
10. News: giant ant colony in Spain. Pat: get NASA to set up a giant magnifying glass.
11. Where Babe Ruth got his nickname. Other candy nicknames "Whizzer" died.
12. My Doctor. Female athletes with nicknames. Fear Factor: nude. "Fun" parts covered up. Lisa doesn't like speaking in public.
13. Falau trial. Happy Trails.
April 16, 2002
8:10 - 8:30
1. Ross Colchek wants hamster; Pat calls his dad on air.
2. More on pets.
April 17, 2002
5:30 - 7:15
3. Protest blocks freeway. Lisa thinks wives of Middle East leaders should solve the problem. Great Harvest Bread
4. Ed "Kookie" Burns. NASA channel, no privacy for astronauts.
5. Sleepers in Seattle. Coming up on the show.
6. Sports
7. Nostrildomus nose hair trimmer. Capturing Osama bin Laden
8. Linda Album, Colin Powel talks
9. Letterman: Things he is doing to save water.
10. Sports
11. Warm weather back east. Virtual child pornography.
12. Virtual colonoscoposy okay. Artificial muscle pill, exercise argument. Lisa says with the extra time from a muscle pill Gary could clean his garage. Gary: "Shut up! What are you, my wife!?"
13. Sports
14. Money: Gary can't say "Amortize."
15. Reaction to Gary's flub. (Gary says "Shut up" under his breath.) Lisa: "What did you say to me earlier, that you hated me?" Gary: "Shut up, I hate you?" Lisa: "And I said 'Like a brother and a sister,' and you said 'No, more like Arafat and Sherone.'" Gary: "I'll let you guess which one has the stubble. Middle East column by Thomas Friedman.
April 17, 2002
7:15 - 8:30
1. Pat wants Jungle Boogie played at his funeral. Death. Lisa doesn't want funeral. Lisa doesn't want a conventional burial.
2. Survivor news. Sports
3. Watterville mysterious lights.
4. Will Bentley. Ross Colchek update: hamster dead, long story.
5. Hamster story post-mortem.
6. Middle East, Colin Powel update. Crime Watch
7. CSI
April 18, 2002
5:30 - 6:30
8. News of the day. Jimmy Hendrix's dad dies.
9. More Hendrix. Scott Cartie sick.
10. Christie's tease. Top of hour, naked man.
11. Lotto, sports
12. "She falls apart." Christie's auction of 9/11 firefighter photo. Angela late
13. Linda Album, ABC.
14. Letterman intro
15. Letterman: Signs your Amish teen is in trouble.
16. Sports
April 17, 2002
8:32 - 10:00
1. Sports
2. Cindi Rhinehart interview: General Hospital 10,000th episode. Pat sings along with General Hospital theme
3. Lisa saw "The Triumph of Love," thinks it's a stinker, but no one else saw the movie so she has to interview Mira Sorvino.
4. Top of hour, interview coming up.
5. The interview.
6. Interview post-mortem. Mira wanted to be on the station with the most personal hygiene ads? Ben Kingsley in Sexy Beast. Pat couldn't understand accents.
7. Hate-mail reaction to interview, by Olivia. Grammar question by Clem from Auburn.
8. Depressing Dolly Parton song, played by mistake. Then Lisa argues with Pat that the song Pat meant to play isn't that much less depressing when you think about it.
9. The Osbourns, not yet resigned by MTV. What family would you like to see on a reality show?
10. Nelle Fratata, "I'm Like a Bird," sound effects. Caller would like to see the Osbourns and the Osmonds together. (This was before the Pepsi ads.) What happens at Pat's house? Pat wears a nightgown.
11. Man arrested for fondling a corpse. End.
April 18, 2002
8:30 - 9:20
12. Sports
13. Pat's dress. Study: the more people drink, the more money they make. Sudio guests who want to escape early. Courtney Love antics. Lisa: "Been there."
14. "I'm Benjamin Dover."
15. Ben Dover querry, transition to Gutter Helmet. Funny names
16. Ken birthday: he's 65
17. Lisa's lawn is still wet, she can't mow it.
18. Middle East review, "Send in the chicks."
19. Crossroads Appliance
April 18, 2002
6:38 - 8:30
1. Diamonds on the soles of her shoes. Birthday dedication. Burt Higgins. Misses Miller whistles. Angela Kirby can whistle too. Pat thinks the female singer in "Summertime, Summertime" sounds like Angela.
2. Seattle School District official, interview on racial preference ruling.
3. Sports
4. E-mail from Mitch, can't get AM radio in metal Navy hull, so he misses most of the show. Neighbor's thermostat broke on vacation and over-heated his house.
5. Gold Bond ad, itchy man. Rubber duck giveaway at parks. Lisa thinks its stupid but has no problem with bobbleheads. Gary has train whistle idea, but hopes no one steals it.
6. Call for ideas. Pat's idea.
7. Sports
8. Great Harvest Bread can save your job. Other inventions and ideas. Nancy from Edmonds ideas.
9. We will rejoin our commercials after this brief program segment. More Nancy
10. Upcoming exercse guest, Lisa eating a butterhorn. Gary's train whistle idea already tried.
11. Fitness expert Bob Green. Pat picked up the book, got exercise. Ophra's weight.
12. Celebrate the year of the patio. Pipe genie. John Curley, upcoming Evening Magazine award show.
13. Bottom of hour. Northwest Hospital event full.
April 22, 2002
5:36 - 5:42
14. UP-HURL-9. Katey 21st birthday. Weather forecasters lied again. Israeli war.
April 18, 2002
9:20 - 10:00
1. Small plane hits building in Italy. NTSB 9/11 cockpit tape played for families.
2. Bottom of hour
3. Crapily Rehearsed Theater. More on Italian crash.
4. Coming up...
5. Clarence Gatemouth Brown.
6. Emergency Alert System test, real scratchy reception.
April 22, 2002
8:32 - 10:00
7. News: Tonya Harding
8. John Levesque: TV Turn-Off Week, burnt-out critic. Winston Churchill, "The Gathering Storm" HBO movie.
9. Pat measures time by baseball season. Jimmy Durantee, other displaced celebrities.
10. Top of hour, Pat as Ed Wynn.
11. Pat to M.C. event; interviews football player with colitis.
12. Tommy James. Catholic scandal.
13. Raymond Hayden.
14. News: angry men, Spleensqueegie.
15. People's Court bailiff died. Animal Court. Microsoft trial vs. Mary Kay Leternou trial. Why can't they leave that poor man [Bill Gates] alone ? Wassle test.
16. Wassle test calls.
17. Tomorrow's show
April 23, 2002
8:30 - 8:45
18. Sports
19. The Pig! The perfect breakfast.
April 22, 2002
5:40 - 7:45
1. Vendors fees. Mariners stink! (One day only.)
2. Wassle test. Catholic church, Cardinal Law.
3. Sports
4. Middle East (strange future echo). Pat takes daughter out for 21st birthday. Where to take kids these days?
5. American Woman, add punch effect. Alice in Chains singer Lan Staley.
6. Letterman spring cleaning, leftover Top 10 entries.
7. Sports.
8. Tim Sheld, ABC News. Catholic meeting.
9. Wassle test. Lisa hates stupid story problems, reads too much into them. Pat not good at math.
10. Lighten-Up jingle.
11. Sports
12. No more "secretaries" day. Wassle. Lisa Entertainment Report! Wassle, teacher call.
13. Wassle calls. Marie Winn, author: "The Plug-In Drug."
14. Sports
15. Listeners want more Slim Whitman? Wassle calls and song.
April 22, 2002
7:50 - 8:30
1. Wassle, and commercials. Pat's conversations with his kids never go as well as in the ads.
2. Laura Werlin, cheeses.
3. Monty Python cheese sketch. Soy cheese vs. Veet. Evening Magazine award replay. Real firemen, Lisa "put out."
4. Bottom of hour: Turn off TV week might hurt John Levesque's feelings.
April 23, 2002
5:37 - 7:05
5. Sports: "Going, going..."
6. Too Late to Turn Back Now (Rosie Grnadine)
7. Lisa can barely tolerate live, in-person sports, let alone TV sports.
8. Sports
9. Jim Hickey, Robert Blake. Beratta lyrics reading.
10. More Robert Blake, not as serious as terrorism news.
11. Letterman: Robert Blake defenses.
12. Sports
13. Willie Gustufson of Dusty WA; Yahoo yodeler. Lisa can't yodel.
14. Catholic scandal.
15. Coming up...
16. Sports.
April 23, 2002
7:08 - 8:30
1. Dave Dudley, new song (for Pat) Rollades, Donze Pills and Preparation H. ABC's John Bascum, 12th hijacker, "Dirty" nuke bomb. Use truth Serum?
2. Pat let his son watch and reinact what he saw. It's still snowing.
3. Wassle e-mail sample questions
4. Sports: Going... Going...
5. John Langley, Cops creator. Lisa likes naked people on "Too hot for TV" Pat wanted cloudy weather.
6. Pat and super heroes, he put on his brother's tight pajamas. Lisa's heroes were Barbie and the Banana Splits.
7. Jim Hickey, on Robert Blake (rerun). Angela Kirby tired. O'Neil Plumbing and Lisa's plumbing problem. Bushings is "war."
8. Gerard Jones, pop culture is good. Fireball X-05
April 24, 2002
5:32 - 6:19
9. Mariners to be on KOMO! Frank Gorshen riddle: four cigarettes, three sailors, no lighter. Angela Kirby doesn't get it.
10. Mariners announcement. Lisa's new pet chicken.
11. Sports.
12. Train wrecks. Train expert interview.
13. Tim Sheld, Catholic scandal.
April 23, 2002
8:47 - 10:00
1. Kathleen, bus driver, mentions Richard Peterson. Richard doesn't remember women. Kathleen calls about Lisa's Evening Magazine apperance. Lisa doens't know why she likes The Pig.
2. Linda Lovelace died.
3. Lisa doesn't like obscure Seals and Crofts song; too nasal. If Herb Wiesbaum is good at picking stocks, why is he on the radio? Frank Gorshen on the show tomorrow. Is Julie Newmar dead? TV violence. Nostalga. Disclaimer: don't do what the Three Stooges do.
4. Female TV heroes. Romper Room and "Do-Bees." Felix the Cat.
5. The Bananna Splits. More Felix, Pat can't do his voice today. Dark Shadows, a good vampire. Grizzy Adams, Pat does bear voice.
6. News, White House.
7. Coming up...
8. Wiley Gustufson introduction.
9. Post-interview.
10. Sound Glass.
11. Tomorrow's show.
April 24, 2002
8:32 - 9:45
12. News: "Ultimate dodgeball." Sports.
13. William W. Willoughby. Pat and history with Mariners. TV spot, funny nose glasses. "Who's On First?"
14. Scan Quest. Colonoscopies are not a barrel of laughs. Train expert interview. (rerun)
15. Song on TV commercial. Robot dance move. TV show with people dressed as robots: Sheilds and Yarnell. Robert Blake update. Tim Sheld: Pope and cardinal meeting intro.
16. Coming up: joke by Vic in Bellevue.
17. Joke by Vic from Bellevue. Pat reads old couple at fast food resturant joke
18. Woman missed joke punchline.
19. News: Shakespeare gay?
20. More on M's announcement. Frank Gorshen rerun intro, Pat screws it up.
April 24, 2002
6:20 - 8:30
1. Ambiente Tile makes Lisa's mouth water. Mariners, KOMO employees happy. Lisa wants Tino Martinez
2. Letterman intro
3. Letterman: Ways Dick Cheney injured his foot.
4. Sports
5. Chinoise Cafe
6. Beagleman: business smells, ads don't work. Dave Irish Beagleman song. Barbara Strisend is 60, Pat counted the rings. Interview soundbites. Pat argues with Lisa about Babs.
7. 24 in 24. Show is implausible because too much stuff happens.
8. Jay in PA fax, on Mariners. Gary flub repeated from this morning: "Sex."
9. Sports
10. Lisa wearing purple for Huskies. Mariners announcement replay. Chuck Armstrong interview. They played Pat's old ads at stadium last night. Pat tells story about ad. Unsolicited testimonial from Lisa for O'Neil plumbing. "O-rings."
11. Why not play major league baseball on street? Pedophile priests.
12. Bottom of hour. Coming up: Frank Gorshen.
13. Sports
14. Frank Gorshen interview. What did the doctor say about your diarrhea? Lisa: "Oh, brother."
15. Studio visitor looks anxious. About Tom Mabe, anti-telemarketers, replay bit.
16. Bentley Center, appointment for Brad Beagleman?
17. Does Rosie leak when she laughs? Segue Serenade. Bab's birthday, James Brolin, John Doormat cartoon.
18. Segue Serenade #2; Freefalling. Osbournes. Pomerania plutonium turds. Dog gets sick.
19. Segue Serenade #3 (with puke effect).
April 25, 2002
5:37 - 7:45
1. Life, or Something Like It. Catholic apology
2. State employee Internet abuse
3. Sports
4. The Candyman. Burt Higgins, Wassle state alternatives.
5. Darryl Dawgs, charity fundraiser.
6. Letterman: Things dumb guys say about the economy.
7. Sports
8. Pam Coulter, Pakistan. WSU: No more "Wazzu." Gary story: Chico State: C-SUCK. UP-HURL-9 still gets a laugh.
9. Wazzu continued. Call from Catherine, nearly spilled her wine.
10. Coming up, coyotes eating doggies. Lisa: "Awwww..."
11. Sports
12. Pat kicking himself for missing birthday. Joke by Vic: real life story, dead rabbit. Scott Cartie, vibrating cell phone: to lead to abuse.
13. Bob Everett: urban coyotes.
14. Bottom of hour
15. News: Jewel. Sports.
16. What's with Mike Cameron's lips? Robin Williams calls cancer patient.
April 25, 2002
7:45 - 8:30
1. Mike Cameron's lip, continued.
2. Intern at KOMO dating Nelle Fratata? Bonzi potato growing contest.
3. Exposed car mechanic. Auburn wants to change its image with new slogan.
4. No longer "Little Detroit of the West." Mary Gresch interview on "Wazzu" use.
April 29, 2002
5:37 - 7:05
5. Where is Todd Johnson? He's in Sea World feeding a seal. News of the day. U. S. annouced that they will invade Iraq sometime next year. Ringo, in French. Pat: "I can't stand the suspense."
6. Very short Anne Compton report. Motorcycle gang fight in Nevada.
7. Interesting factoids: duck's quack does not echo
8. Sports
9. Tuxes and Tails. Anne Gordon, animal trainer. New Benji. Box of snakes story. Animal shelter. Brad Pitt story (speaking of various snakes.)
10. Gorton, continued. Controlling spiders.
11. Letterman intro
12. Letterman: Ways the Talliban are celebrating their anniversary.
13. Sports
14. UP-HURL-9. Barbie creator dies. Warrrrshington. New lotto game.
15. Letterman Uma/Ophra gag at Oscars remembered. Robert Blake case.
16. Top of hour
17. Sports.
18. Loan Tech ad
April 25, 2002
8:32 - 10:00
Side 1
Dave Irish new CD
Auburn needs a new slogan
Used to be called Slaughter.
Angela Kirby late
9:50 more Auburn
Tuxes and Tails
Pets at PetsMart
Side 2
Clem: Auburn slogan suggestions
Idiocy for Dummies
Bottom of hour: fake Yakoff Smirnoff.
9:36: "I knooooow!!"
Last words of Jim Neighbors songs.
Cowboy joke
Robin Williams calls cancer patient (rerun)
April 29, 2002
7:08 - 8:30
1. Janet Brunell, screenwriter, Gilda Radner special
2. O'Neal Plumbing. New York Times yesterday: upcoming Iraq invasion?
3. Bottom of hour: update on everything. Well, not EVERY-thing.
4. News: ice cream vendor too noisy. Sports. Weather: Todd Johnson in San Diego. Pat guesses cities like he did in Primara Blue Cross ad.
5. Motorcycle gang fight in Nevada.
6. Caller wins stick of gum. Northwest Afternoon, wacky dog show. Soccer not fun to watch on TV.
7. Lotto official interview (on speaker phone). Win the lotto, rule the world!!!
8. Gutter Helmet, paradigm. Lotto call. Office pool story.
9. Bottom of hour. "You CAN click on the banner ads!"
April 30, 2002
5:37 - 6:15
10. 70 degrees is hot? Wa Me massacre. Shandra Levey and Lisa's weak exercise joke. Fat tax?
11. Teen dance ordinance. Pat flub: "Governor Paul Schell." Pat was a nerd in junior high, couldn't ask for a dance.
12. Quick 30 second joke.
13. Sports
14. About Ross Schafer spotting Johnny Carson. Sound cuts from Esquire reporter.
April 29, 2002
8:32 - 10:00
Side 1
John Levesque: sweeps.
LA riots anniversary
Anne Compton rerun
Pat plays John Tesch
Shaving Cream
Crime Watch
Side 2
Gilda Radner screenwriter rerun
Crystal Blue Persuasion and Take the A-Train played simultaneously.
Horses on street.
LA Riots 10 years later
Blonde joke changed to DJ joke.
April 30, 2002
6:18 - 8:30
1. Member FDIC. Homeland security
2. Letterman: features of Camp Delta
3. Sports
4. Breaking news: meth lab. Riveting interview: Duke of the harp.
5. Lotto pool in New Jersey.
6. Scan Quest
7. Sports
8. Fox military expert not a veteran. Peculiar Playhouse memory: Pat fooled by viewer claiming Andy Worhol's Frankestine as his own.
9. Good day, why not have class outside? More on being duped. Cleetus call, show characters (sounds like Surf Dude.) Ken call on painting the town green.
10. Bottom of hour, Star Wars giveaway.
11. News, underwear check. Sports
12. Star Wars: Attack of the Colognes. Lisa confused about chronology. Childhaven.
13. Dr. Nurse, presents card from Purdy Women's Center.
14. Grade school magazine. Pat tried to send jokes to Boy's Life.
15. Upcoming on Herb's show. Man with demo tape, lies about ability. Hospital experience: doctor lied about experience.
16. Bottom of hour: violent day.
April 30, 2002
8:32 - 10:00
Side 1
"Connie, does it work?"
John Harrison, ice cream taster.
Segue to Lighten-Up.
More on bluffing your way through life.
9:08 Lame jokes in magazines; getting paid for them
On Top of Spaghetti, Gary sings!
J. P. Patches jokes
Side 2
"Gummer Helmet"
Story about Pat gets static popped in studio
Ugly baby joke
Frontier House.
Teen dances, rejection
Next show: complicated technological devices
Pat to have haircut tomorrow.
May 1, 2002
5:37 - 7:34
1. Pat buys wrong CD, can't return it. Slaps on the haircut! Mullet hairstyle.
2. Marvin Gaye sings Nat King Cole. mulletmadness.com. More on Pat's hairstyles. Starbucks robbery.
3. News, Nentendo game tester employment. Sports
4. Mullet photos of Morning Show crew to be on Internet. "KO-mullet." Canada geese shot at airport. Fabio and goose... no, duck!
5. Jim Hickey.
6. Letterman: ways Sadam Hussain celebrated 65th birthday. Free ice cream.
7. Sports
8. May pole. Tether ball. Mullets on baseball pitchers. Lay day in Hawaii. Chris Ling in studio.
9. Fragrant in studio. Gutter Helmet: beaver bug. Osbournes: security problems.
10. News, Starbucks. Sports: man bites testicles.
11. "She's not there."
12. Ed Kotch, stroke awareness. Lisa's skin breaks out due to wearing Hawaiian lay.
13. Lisa still itching. Pseudo science. Lisa can't get her mind around looking at stars that shone a billion years ago.
14. Sports
May 1, 2002
7:39 - 8:30
1. Frustrating technology. Dr. Edward Tenner.
2. Complicated car radio.
3. Top of hour
4. Where in the [bleep] is Todd? Pat forgot name and location of event where he is M. C.ing. Jim knows the answer.
5. Husky metal shake roof vs. fruitcake. Roof vs. woodpeckers. Jerry Lewis biopic movie. Diane reminds Pat where to be at 11:15
6. Bottom of hour.
May 2, 2002
5:38 - 6:45
7. Why one-hit wonders? Weather rant by Pat, wants more honesty. Talks to Todd Johnson live, then compares with his TV report.
8. Involuntary Urination. "Always Something There" remake. More on weather, mullets. Why not have traffic forecasts?
9. Sports
10. Pat missed cue. More weather rant. Pat needs weather forecast to jog. Why not have roof builders report the weather? Gypsy moth spraying in Ballard. Weather "opinion," not forecast.
11. Yassar Arafat free. Caller's son tracked weather forecasts.
12. Letterman: construction worker pickup lines.
13. Sports
14. Cell phone ad. Garrett vs. Schell case. Burt Higgins.
May 1, 2002
8:32 - 10:00
Side 1
Canada geese control at the airport. Pat tries to sing along to "Runaway" ("Runway").
Krispy Kreme to be at Mom and Me at the Zoo?
Washington Mutual cash machines have casual vernacular.
9:08 Commander Rick Dann, Monroe, Starbucks Robbery
Slaps on the haircut (interrupted by side change).
Side 2
Mullet
Eat and drive study: most dangerous foods.
News: Aussie rules football, man bites testicles. Pat's impression.
Osbournes
Get higher (too high).
Word Perfect help line.
May 2, 2002
6:45 - 8:30
1. Roger in Bremerton
2. Sports
3. City Light underbills large customers. Stephen Tubb, Middle East
4. The Pig!
5. News: Bill Clinton talk show. Sports
6. Ironman Mike Murphy. Seattle City Light underbilling. Dramatic Recreation (footsteps). Sue not there.
7. Pizza Hut vegetarian suit.
8. Interview: Stephen Furst. Flounder from Animal House. Diabetes.
9. "She Falls Apart." More on Pizza Hut suit. Cheese is inherently a beef product. They can't wait any more.
10. Bottom of hour. Enzymes contain beef extract.
May 6, 2002 5:38 - 6:08
11. Morning crew can't read their names from notes. Sonics out of playoffs.
12. More Israel discussion
13. Sports. Pat talks with Todd Johnson.
May 2, 2002
8:32 - 10:00
(after December 20, 2001)
6. Sports
7. Pat wants a mullet. Mullet pictures on website. Steve Wilson's brother got a Mohawk in first grade. Ryan Stiles interview, but he has laryngitis.
8. Caller questions for Stiles, almost no phone activity.
9. YMCA. Herb: bad side of e-mail? Pat's bad campsite: crow village. Pat admits that Ryan Stiles interview fell through. Bruce e-mail: cheese, Olestra
10. Lisa Likes "Ain't No Sunshine" strings. Underwear inspection story
11. Bottom of hour. News: Arafat free (door open sound effect).
12. News: Bill Clinton talk show.
May 2, 2002
9:39 - 10:00
1. Thong song. Spiderman movie.
2. Coming up tomorrow. Commercial announcer sounds goosed.
3. End.
May 6, 2002
6:10 - 8:15
1. Pat late, Lisa fills in. Spiderman, movie grosses vs. attendance. Pat bets that Star Wars won't open with a $114 million weekend like Spiderman did.
2. Israel, Vic Ratner.
3. Letterman: things you don't want to hear in Central Park
4. Spiderman news. Sports.
5. Cher farewell tour. Snowing in Bellingham. Desmond Tutu. Pat can't remember Stonehenge. Mail Bombs.
6. NBC 75th anniversary. What about KOMO's 75th?
7.
8. News: laugh club. Sports, Mike Tyson quote.
9. Pat on a boat, windy day, sees ghost. Todd Johnson in Vancouver.
10. Pat to MC events. Letter from young girl. More movie grosses.
11. Bottom of hour. Coming up: Surf Dude.
12. News: Brooks and Dunn, sprained mullets. Sports.
13. Pat flub: "Chick lick." Surf Dude, Chick Flick Movie Review. Monsoon Wedding. Pat doesn't like new direction of Surf Dude; sounds drugged. Clinton watch.
14. New seatbelt law. Ken call: Ken's weekend review.
15. Coming up on show.
16. Height increasing surgery in China.
May 6, 2002
8:15 - 8:30
1. Being tall
2. Bottom of hour
May 7, 2002
5:38 - 7:15
3. Easy to get through the call screener first thing in the morning. Curtis Williams. Pat and Gary recall being at stadium that day. Angela Kirby: "Waddle and Read." Sun then snow yesterday.
4. Great Harvest Bread. The Kinks/The Cramps. Ken Griffy Jr. is unhappy.
5. Sports: no good man named Edgar. Traffic: "She's Not There!"
6. News interview: more axis of evil countries.
7. Where we like to say... Cowboy Code. Church of the Nativity crisis over? Orphaned orca.
8. Letterman: Signs your wife is having an affair with Spiderman.
9. Sports
10. Chinoise Cafe
11. Natural gas prices to go down, then back up again. Michael York interview. Snow yesterday.
12. Pat talking like Michael York. Lighten-Up. Birth, spanking, tongs. Pat had a cone head.
13. Sports
14. The Untouchables. Tennessee Tuxedo. Ray from Fircrest does Boomhauer and sings both parts of "Oh, I Remember It Well."
15. Bentley Center
May 6, 2002
8:32 - 10:00
Side 1
Growth surgery in China
People lie about height.
Call from Ken (another one?)
John Levesque: Frontline, Islam. New fall season
Ozzy Osbourne at White House dinner.
Sound Glass
Side 2
Michael Ovitz
Search for PT 109
"Walk On By."
Herb in studio, clubcards.
Pat gets p0rn spam.
Gary has a card, used his real name, because he is a sheep.
Credit card song. Pat's wallet full of cards.
May 7, 2002
7:22 - 8:30
1. Curtis Williams and brother. Game call of his injury.
2. Sports
3. Lenny Kravitz gets Microsoft Windows award. Breaking news: Seattle Slew dead. Laverne & Shirley reunion show coming up. Pat and Lisa argue about Laverne & Shirley.
4. Husky Construction. Lisa's roof leaks when it laughs. Laverne & Shirley interview clips.
5. Top of hour: No deal!
6. E. T. C. monorail spokesman Ed Stone
7. O'Neil Plumbing, O-rings. Mystery guest. Not Gary Hoffman.
8. Bottom of hour
May 8, 2002
5:38 - 6:38
9. Gary Hoffman's new haircut. Lisa wants sound effect for "Slapps on the haircut," but Pat said it's not an effect. Monitor broken, engineer on maternity leave.
10. Olympic Embroidery: make softball uniforms. But what if your shortstop has a bad haircut?
11. Top of hour. Year of the patio. Can Mariners keep their good record? No. ("Nuts!!")
12. News: Mariners management sucks. Sports
13. Vic Ratner, suicide bombing. Crystal Mountain to reopen for limited skiing on Memorial Day
14. Great Harvest Bread. Birthdays. "Little Horse on the Prairie." Don Rickles. Lisa confused about celebrities.
15. Letterman: Reasons your production was not nominated for a Tony award.
16. Sports
May 7, 2002
8:32 - 10:00
(after May 2, 2002)
4. Sports: Curtis Williams replay
5. Segue Serenade; Pat accidentally calls it "Contrast and Compare." Mystery Guest revealed: Seahawks coach Mike Holmgren Clem: Top 10 NFL Player Pickup Lines
6. Gutter Helmet. Billy and Nancy. Lisa: why do baseball coaches wear player uniform? Pat is wearing a dickie.
7. Gorlic vaccum. Pat: why do we have to make a bed?
8. Update on Pat and Gary's Star Wars vs. Spiderman bet: are they about to switch sides? Spiderman is a realistic superhero
9. Why Don't We Do It In the Road? Herb has a star named after him. New York Times ethicist: baseball playing. Lisa afraid of spider bite scene in Spiderman
10. Usher.
May 8, 2002
6:38 - 8:30
1. Bomb threat in Jack In the Box bathroom diverted plane to Greenland. Osbournes. Animals trapped in house.
2. Are there caymen in Green Lake? Liv Schribner to be on show. Pat's dad lashed out at school coaches.
3. News, pickle king. Sports
4. Pipe bomber arrested
5. Coach: parental roles in sports
6. Bottom of hour. Passengers got to spend time on the Big Island... of Greenland!
7. Sports
8. Rolling Stones concerts; Pat, Lisa and/or Gary will only go if they play hits or if they look good.
9. Pipe bomber. Parents defending kid's stupid behavior
10. The Mavericks
11. Pro wrestler dead: Lou These Michael Todd Jr. dead, inventor of Smell-O-Vision. No contests? No prizes!
12. Ken call, to correct Pat's pronunciation. Lee Schriber
13. Bottom of hour
May 9, 2002
5:38 - 5:45
14 Lisa to be on Animal Planet for her fear of spiders. News of the day
May 8, 2002
8:32 - 10:00
Side 1
Chinoise Cafe
Lisa hates "It's a Wonderful World" (ex-boyfriend song)
RIP Seattle Slew, Ken Alhatif interview.
High pressure ridge
Barbara Walters on hold for Gary?
Gutter Helmet, "cat gut"
Woman falls 14 floors, survives. Do skydivers loose consciousness?
24 in 24
The face is resilient
Side 2
2nd Amendment interview
Weisbaum in studio: memory enhancers
Question for Herb for Once a Day, Vulcan Class, Low Sodium, Clorispar, Floraphlaven, Philagesten, Galvahase 2000
Songs: Handyman/Candyman/Hanky Man
The Osbournes
Lisa saw Star Wars.
May 9, 2002
5:45 - 7:56
1. Traffic
2. Ray in Fircrest coming up. UP-HURL-9
3. Sports
4. ABC's Jim Ryan in Reno, pipe bomber. Pat flub in announcing traffic: "Here's Lisa... Lisa's friend Angela Kirby."
5. ABC's Vic Ratner (only)
6. Letterman: Founding Father Pickup Lines
7. Sports. Angela Kirby missing
8. Chinoise Cafe: not all sushi raw.
9. Ken Alhatif rerun from yesterday. Rosie Grenadine: Camptown Races.
10. Ray in Fircrest: Gary is the lowlife. Impressions: James Cagney, Pinto Colvig.
11.
12. News: Brian Bozworth. Sports
13. 4-H students.
14. Don't gut-punch Pat. Lisa to judge fireman's calendar. Scott Cartie: cell phone flask, Boeing digital film.
15. News, Sports
16. Gary hates Hugh Grant. Pickup line contest. Seth/Beth. Officer Pat
17. More pickup lines. Mariners play better on the road. Review of last night's game.
May 9, 2002
8:10 - 8:30
1. 24 in 24. Survivor, contestant with big nose.
2. Candice Bergan hated Charlie McCarthy. Mike Wallace is 84
3. Star Wars. Joke: Middle East diplomat
May 13, 2002
5:38 - 7:15
4. Pat went on balloon ride for Mother's Day
5. Pat grabs wrong CD. Dione Warwick caught with 11 joints. Fire season. Pat and Lisa argue: "There are always fires in the summer."
6. Poplar Doppler is quaking
7. Sports
8. Bremerton ship at Australia: wear out prostitutes. AP story and newspaper apology. Decoy tow trucks.
9. Mary Tyler Moore reunion show.
10. Letterman: pieces of advice from celebrity moms
11. Sports
12. My Cup Runneth Over With Love. Ammonia leak in Arlington. Fire strobe light blinking in studio. Rasty cow poop in Bend.
13. Ambiente: Pat and brothers took bath together. (Bubble sound effect.) More on fire alarm strobe: they should have abandoned the studio. Israel discussion
14. Coming up: Let us eat cake.
15. Sports: Gary flub: "Jew... Blue Jays." Todd Johnson at Disneyland
16. Where in the world is Pat Cashman? Coming up: hot air balloon mother's day gift. Go to traffic: "She's Not There."
May 9, 2002
8:32 - 10:00
Side 1
News: Ab belts
Vic Ratner: Church of the Nativity update
Gas grills
Lou Helder update
9:08 "Attack of the Colognes"
Star Wars trivia contest: Tootsie guess
17 year old turns in pot dealing dad.
Side 2
The Consumer Man: Lisa likes his tights.
News: history test.
Weisbaum in studio
Census figures
Northwest Afternoon dog show
Dog can use toilet
May 13, 2002
7:18 - 8:30
1. Mother's Day balloon story. Patty afraid of heights.
2. Bottom of hour
3. Sports
4. Surf Dude: Y Tu Mama Tambien. Sharon Boorston: "Let Us Eat Cake."
5. Bentley Center, Pat looses train of thought. Husband catcher cake.
6. News items coming up.
7. Contrast and Compare: "Sunshine of My Life." Sick school building, interview.
8. Pat's sleep-talking dream: "I shall not pay your tariffs!" Ray in Fircrest: Popeye.
9. Bottom of hour
May 14, 2002
5:38 - 6:34
10. Lisa likes Bobby Darren. Small quake in San Francisco
11. Bill Bailey. Large barbecue or small?
12. "Food Around the Corner."
13. Sports
14. Vic Ratner intro
15. Traffic: "She's Gone!"
16. Lighten-Up. Skipping CD. Dinotopia. Vic Ratner excited. Restoration Hardware window washers.
17. Sports
18. Letterman: Signs times are tough at Disney. Local schools place high in national jazz contest.
May 13, 2002
8:32 - 10:00
Side 1
Pat Pack Purse: Bucko Wins
John Levesque: Alias, new fall season.
Confusing Survivor finale
Celebrity boxing
Saturn ad
9:08 "Hey There Lonely Girl."
Pat sings like a girl.
Mother's Day balloon ride
Side 2
Louie Anderson "interview," fired from Family Feud
"Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" ad made up of infomercial clips.
Foot in the mouth Olympics.
Lisa and dog biscuit for customer at the bank.
Gary's dad and "uvula."
John Keister and "Lady!"
May 14, 2002
6:36 - 8:30
1. Pavarati's career over?
2. Mark Miller, Fallau case. Waterfront sculpture garden
3. terraced park, not terrorist park. Actual letters to landlords.
4. Sports
5. NBC new fall lineup. Sopranos
6. Contrast & Compare: Mr. Tambourine Man. Crime Watch
7. News: Lion bites man. Sports
8. Aaron Brown, radio KTW, KRAB. Pat Cashman story: Pat created good image ad for Aaron, made him seem not much of a jerk and significantly advanced his career. Memories on 9/11.
9. Scott Brown, Roosevelt High School Jazz Band won national competition.
10. Chicken Fat. Gatorade representative.
11. The "I Love KOMO" contest: say "I Love KOMO" in Downtown Seattle to win free Gatorade. Hydration fun facts. Gary drank more water. Pat's liquid stomach, jump up and down. Spiderman
12.
May 15, 2002
5:38 - 5:45
13. Steve Wilson has long day. What if Pat's morning show were on 24 hours a day?
May 14, 2002
8:32 - 10:00
Side 1
Bartell's ad music is Frank Sinatra song?
Vic Ratner rerun, emphasizing "GUNFIGHT!!"
San Francisco earthquake, earthquakes in general
Roger in Bremerton
9:08 Lisa: "Putting out new albums is the thing to do." Pat: "Huh!?"
Park closures
Side 2
Arthur Allen finally gets credit for "UP-HURL-9," but Pat flubs his name as "Arthur Brown" at first.
Pat's dad was forced to swim, but Pat ducked out of swimming class.
Weisbaum & coffee stain.
Aaron Brown and Scott Brown reruns.
May 15, 2002
5:45 - 8:00
1. Pat's old lady voice; he wants to work on lady voice. Steve Wilson has woman's voice naturally. Herb Weisbaum typo. City Light image problem. West Seattle High School mascot
2. News: orphaned orca. Sports
3. Sun rised (rizzed?) Orphaned orca: why take it back? Lisa hates nature. Pat and Lisa argue; Pat has to resort to spider analogy to win.
4. Husky Roofing: metal shingle looks like cedar and smells like cedar. It's actually Pat's socks. More orphaned orca. Lisa thinks they should hire wider players for basketball.
5. Letterman: Signs your little league player is too old.
6. Sports
7. GOP fundraiser dinner. 9/11 fundraiser photo controversy.
8. Pat caught up in roofing jingle. More photo controversy.
9. Sports
10. More photo controversy
11. Pat wishes he has illustrative relatives. He admits that Hindinberg reporter is not real. Irish ancestors. More on "not pay your tariffs" dream. Pat hasn't paid his taxes yet, possible explanation for dream.
12. I shall not pay your tariffs! 24 in 24.
13. Sports
14. Mary Kay Leternu web site. It looks warmer than 42 degrees.
15. He's coming here!! Bentley Center.
16. More Jennings. Pat's smarty comments. Promo is overdone.
May 15, 2002
8:00 - 8:30
1. Beer gut. Curtis Williams memorial
2. Comment line, desperate for comments. "Oh, I KNOW!!" Gary's kid says it on air.
3. Calling all performing children. Pat hits the post, interrupts Lisa's story. (Lisa's friend's nephew looks like Hailey Joel Osmont, she taught him to say "I see dead people.")
4. Bottom of hour
May 16. 2002
5:38 - 7:15
5. New studio at Fisher Plaza, has deck. Upcoming on show.
6. CIA knew 9/11 ahead of time. Van Morrison's Ozzy Osbourn moment.
7. Coming up: barista.
8. Star Wars news. Sports
9. "Gimmie Dat Ding." Barista. Waddle & Reed pronunciation change.
10. More barista. Bronco Star Wars review.
11. Letterman: Signs your cat is trying to kill you.
12. Sports.
13. Hijacking forewarning story.
14. Auction winners in studio. More forewarning story.
15. Lisa almost ran into Christian Slater's chest
16. Sports
17. Scott Cartie.
May 15, 2002
8:32 - 10:00
Side 1
Kids performing on the telephone: Courtney, Audrey... Carl?
Star Wars tickets to go to caller number one million.
Callers get lippy with Lisa.
Grocery story club cards.
Pat would rather Lisa not mention ointment.
9:08 Pat distracted by meat sale.
Talking shopping cart?
Side 2
More club cards.
If every store has cards, Pat will have to raise cattle. (Doesn't he do that already?)
Herb in studio, typo.
Julie (RB?) in Duvall.
Pat has such a big wallet, why doesn't he get a man purse?
Bob calls, sounds familiar (Ray in Fircrest?)
Joint Juice, sound of Pat's joints.
Pat's daughter gives random phone numbers at club card stores; one time someone else's name came up.
May 16, 2002
7:22 - 8:30
1. Windtalkers: John Wu, Christian Slater
2. Sports
3. Chris Carter, X-Files
4. Barista
5. Gutter Helmet
6. Pat's joints squeek. Sunny Kobe Cook. "Blue Suede Mattress"
7. More Sunny
May 20, 2002
5:38 - 6:15
8. Todd Johnson in Vegas, rain in Seattle. Gary baby shower: it's a girl. Terrorism. Traffic by Penny Coin, joke.
9. Pat trusts Ed Hume Seeds. Mt. St. Hellens. Seat belts, Pat can't find story.
10. Martha Norwalk, Woody Woodpecker. Cher is 86, er, 56 today. M's got "hot" in Boston (bus caught on fire.)
11. Sports
12. Roof song stuck in Pat's head. Phones not working
May 16, 2002
8:32 - 10:00
Side 1
Barista
9:08 Star Wars: Lisa's review
Celebrity boxing
Bellevue couple climbs Everest
Side 2
Herb in studio: at 50, talking about sex counts.
Windtalkers rerun
Last night's Mariners game, force at home plate.
May 20, 2002
6:15 - 8:20
1. Ambiente Tile: do tiles come in bales? Scam artists targeting seniors
2. Letterman: items on a fighter pilot's checklist.
3. Sports
4. Phones not working. Pat tries a low tech solution of putting phone up to microphone. That reminds Lisa of Patti Payne. Vague terror warnings. Lisa doesn't want to think like a terrorist.
5. Cartoonist Hantaro
6. Top of hour
7. Sports
8. "Life is Hard When You're Dumb" Why is "Friends" still on? Survivor finale, Rosie O'Donnel sings. Lisa: "Make it stop!"
9. Star Wars weekend gross. Pat and Gary's bet, final results. What happens to old film? Digital vs. film. Yoda scene.
10. Survivor finale
11. Sports. Talk with Todd Johnson in Vegas
12. Surf Dude Chick Flick movie: "The Cat's Meow." Chick flicks have drugs and sex. Guy films have guns and cars.
13. Orca author: "What the Orcas Have Taught Us." Orphaned orca.
14. Todd Johnson in Vegas, live report. What color to bet on roulette? Pat hopes Todd gets a sunburn.
15. Comment line comments. Pizza ruled unhealthy. Pat substitutes soy cheese. Lisa has a "violent" problem with soy.
16. Husky Roof.
May 20, 2002
8:20 - 8:30
1. Beat the bridge. Daytime Emmies.
2. Bottom of hour. John Levesque does not write much about toasters.
May 21, 2002
5:38 - 7:28
3. Fallau trial. Terrorism.
4. Cow went on rampage in Kingston.
5. Sonny Boy
6. Sports.
7. Terror. "Househunters." aka, the Nice show.
8. More FBI memo
9. Letterman: Star Wars surprises
10. Sports
11. Chinoise Cafe
12. Ray from Fircrest asks Lisa for a date. He wrote a script for an impression: the entire British House of Commons
13. Lighten-Up, origins of Katey Evan's career. Food-free sections in ballparks. Ranger's owner will stop overspending.
14. Minor league team names.
15. News: cow rampage. Sports
16. Photographer David Hume Kennerly. Photo exhibition in Portland.
17. Song: "Call Me Yogi." Star Wars. Lisa has mapped out time to avoid spider bite scene in Spiderman.
18. Olympic Embroidery recorded ad with Pat and Lisa.
May 20, 2002
8:32 - 10:00
Side 1
Chinoise Cafe spot, while Pat trims his nose hair.
John Levesque: "Path to War." Evening news.
Survivor clips.
Gary and Harrison Ford and Lisa.
9:08 Weisbaum typo
Terrorism: Pat acts strange when he encounters threatening people.
Side 2
Pat doesn't harmonize with State Farm jingle
Buster Hump e-mail on phone lines being down.
Animated series.
How have you changed since 9/11?
Herb's opinion on Survivor.
Herb in ESPN Magazine
Miki call.
Coast Guard with gun boat.
Bio-terrorism rumors.
May 21, 2002
7:32 - 8:30
1. Sports
2. Popular Los Angeles news anchor dies: Jerry Dunfrey. Arnold Swartzenagger crank call.
3. James Taylor "Up On a Rooftop," segue to Husky Roof. Terror apartment threat. Gary: Osama is laughing at us.
4. Once-A-Day Vulcan-Class Low-Sodium Chlorospar Fluoroflavin Philogestin Galbophase 2000, now in pill form. The Pig: blonde jokes. Gary keeps laughing over traffic.
5. News discussion
6. Bottom of hour
May 22, 2002
5:38 - 6:45
7. Terrorism: why do they hate us so much?
8. Terror level: Mellow Yellow. City Light.
9. Who is pitcher Joe Kennedy? Ryan Leaf.
10. Sports
11. Grateful Dead reunion. New York City alert level. Airline safety. Miki from Denny Regrade is the suspicious person.
12. Ambiente: "More uniquely." Jim Hickey: New York City.
13. Spoonman heart attack.
14. Letterman: signs you have chosen a bad college.
15. Sports
16. Segue Serenade. Richard Ankrom: homemade freeway sign. Pat confused by I-90 signs under Convention Center
May 21, 2002
8:32 - 10:00
Side 1
Lisa likes adventure games. Discussion about video games
Gutter Helmet sound recreation.
Sneezy passengers on airplanes. Lisa always sits with guy with sore.
9:08 Mayor Nickels, fire boat.
Cell phone cut-out
Side 2
Lisa Foster handled Maria Muldour's car loan, then noticed hole in her pants. Pat's fly was open.
News: man does not pull live heart out of his chest.
Why is traffic being done by Penny Coin? They needed "change."
Weisbaum answers to yet another typo, cell phones.
More on magician David Blaine
May 22, 2002
6:45 - 8:30
1. Scanquest. First sign call.
2. Reset topic, more sign calls. Only one sign per exit? Sea-Tac to Southcenter merge.
3. News: shocked squirrel on powerline. Sports
4. More signs. Kingdome signs still up. State trooper U-turn.
5. Medowlark Lemmon: Harlem Globetrotter.
6. News: Miss USA dressed as fireman. Sports
7. Featherless chicken: why pink? Gary doesn't like food that looks too real.
8. Recorded bit: "Wanna buy a...?" "No!" Proper alertness color level?
9. Magician David Blaine on tower. How does he go to the bathroom? Will his catheter bag burst on impact? Possible simulation by sound effect.
10. Microsoft CEO summit; why not go and snoop around in airport?
11. Interview: Sidney Thall's son-in-law Kye Mann, Fox Jewelry and Gem.
12. Bottom of hour
May 23, 2002
5:38 - 6:04
13. Studio introductions. Lisa is "over yonder." Mike is in another room. Steve Wilson lost news summary in computer. Chandra Levey's body found.
14. Topics can break out spontaneously on this show. More Levey story. Gossip consumption back to normal after 9/11.
15. Rosemary Clooney's birthday.
16. Sports: excited hockey announcer.
May 22, 2002
8:32 - 10:00
Side 1
"24" finale
Pat feels like Cindy Rinehart in recounting the plot of 24
9:08 Breaking news: Chandra Levey's body found.
Harvey Firestine interview
Side 2
Harvey-off contest
Geography bee
Ray in Fircrest's Harvey Firestine impression
Celebrity Boxing
No Womad this year.
May 23, 2002
6:08 - 8:20
1. UP-HURL-9. New US currency illustrates 9/11 when folded.
2.
3. Letterman: Least impressive David Blane tricks. Stephen Tubbs on Levey case
4. News flub: Gary says "wildlife rages" instead of "wildfire rages..." Sports
5. Chinoise Cafe. Spider roll sound effect.
6. "Do The Twist." Steve Wilson makes caller sing requested song: "Wake Up Everybody." 30 year old church bombing case.
7. Paul Schell megaphone trial case.
8. Celebrity Boxing: Pat vs. Kirby Willbur?
9. Sports
10. Gordon Lightfoot concert barf story. Scott Cartie: CEO summit.
11. Upcoming on Herb's show: tease. Pat golfing with D. W. Clark: bird poop. Pat had never gotten "shat upon" until he thought about it, and then finally he did. Gary drop sound effect. Patty says there is more poop now than ever before.
13. Lisa operated telephone switchboard. Pat: "How old are you?" Lisa's nasal voice, other vocal inflections. News readers emphasize last two words. Bird poop dramatic recreation.
14. New York Fleet Week does not mean enemas. Terror warnings.
15. Hat and Boots tease.
16. Johhny Carson update: still retired. Aaron Brown and Ed McMan clips.
17. O'neil Plumbing flood.
May 23, 2002
8:32 - 10:00
Side 1
Van Morrison's "The Wait."
Strange noise in Kokomo, Indiana. Also in Tumwater.
Caller hears strange noises seven seconds later.
Celebrity Boxing
9:08 White House was target of Flight 93
More on 9/11 money folding
Side 2
Chandra Levey.
New York City: you're safer in large crowds.
Herb in studio. Pat: "Go after the bastards."
Herb wants his own theme song.
Susan Paynter column: If you could start life over, what would you do differently?
Pat regretted not trying harder in college, regretted not recording oral history of relatives.
Pat was forced to try out for every sport in school.
Lisa's mom wanted her to marry rich.
(Change from every thing recorded four days a week to every day recorded only from 8 to 10)
May 28, 2002
8:00 - 10:00
Side 1
Chris Kimbal, drummer
Contest, name that drum riff, win a stick of gum.
Crime Watch: "Don't hurt me, I'm stupid."
8:29 Current movies. Scorpion King vs. Spiderman, who would win?
8:35 More drumming, terminology, brushes. Lisa dance, to live drumming accompaniment.
Terrorisim, what have we accomplished?
Side 2
Chris Kimball's charity work: Million Dollar Round Table
Another gum contest.
Short movies shown in elevators. Elevator music.
Weisbaum in studio; he took the stairs.
9:40 Lynn from Magnolia, call about TV screen in gas pump, and Almost Live pumped into elevators.
Steve Wilson mistypes "Arkbb" for "Arlene"
Florence Foster Jenkins--now with drums!
One more quick gum contest.
May 29, 2002
8:00 - 10:00
Side 1
Paul Harvey says "testicles," claims new babies are named "Grace" and "Victor"
Bubbleator update: now in Redondo. Interview with current owner: Gene Atsinger. Also mention of the Doc Brown museum, now in Redmond, Oregon
8:37: Bubbleator operator spiel remembered.
Tammy Michaels, eight and a half months after 9/11. Replay of her 9/11 call.
Weekly World News: antler boy.
Side 2
Lisa's job shadow.
On-air crash test, this time it's Steve Wilson, just outside the studio on the street.
9/11 thoughts.
Bob Hope remembered on his 99th birthday.
May 30, 2002
8:00 - 10:00
Side 1
Lisa Dailey: "Stop Getting Dumped"; she was hung up on. Dating advice for Lisa Foster. Pat: "Nothin' says lovin' like a back crackin' hug." Song: "Lisa, Listen To Me."
Lisa job shadow and Britney Spears concert.
Side 2
Cereal shot from guns.
Dog in heat joke
What to do with Ground Zero site discussion.
9:45 Lisa would not like to work at such a memorial. Pat tells her that a morning show host once worked where she is sitting.
Pat's show is the best morning drive-time show, according to Stan in Spanaway and the Parkland/Spanaway Post.
May 31, 2002
8:00 - 10:00
Side 1
Paul Harvey reports a story blaming negative coverage of Catholics on rampant liberal media, dating from the Pope's 1991 stand against the Gulf War.
"What a show!"
Dave Irish in studio, does Neil Diamond parody. Pat tries to play the original song for comparison, but can't stand the Barbara Strisand singing.
Final Purple and Gold report on KOMO?
Mountain climbers in peril. Why are they all chained to each other?
Fred Hopkins: "Fury of the Wolfman," 1973.
Side 2
Tornado Diet; "Holly s--t!"
Lou Gerrig day tomorrow.
Pitcher win/loss record system not fair.
Leslie D: former Lease-a-Lisa; for wellness event.
News: N'Sync star in space.
Advice for Lisa in Las Vegas.
Steve Wilson wrote wrong name for caller, Pat and him have parallel conversation.
Sleepers in Seattle and West Seattle bridge.
More Las Vegas, Mustang Ranch
June 3, 2002; Lisa in for Pat
8:32 - 10:00
Side 1
Hellen Thomas in studio
8:49 Vegas flight, backwards seating at bulkhead
John Levesque: Bachlorettes in Alaska, Hamptons, HBO shows
9:08 Gary sings harmony with "O Brother, Where Art Thou?" song. Lisa sings too.
Lisa at the Riveria, needle sign on toilet.
"It's 9:14... we don't check traffic!"
Side 2
Celine Dione theater in Las Vegas, and fan club
Jim Hickey, CIA rerun
9:36 Tony Awards
Herb gets a full frontal of Lisa
Missy wet the whole house when Lisa came home
Did Lisa get married in Las Vegas?
Lisa sat next to laugher on airplane.
Lisa can't remember anything right now.
What's on the show tomorrow?
Do we have good contest prizes?
Curtis family tree.
Lisa's job shadow doesn't remember the Gong Show.
June 4, 2002
8:00 - 10:00
Touch the hem of Herb's garment.
Money for state transportation projects, monorail
Queen's purse.
Queen Elizabeth's 50th celebration. Why does the U. S. media cover the U. K. royalty?
News: X-Box hack allows third-party programming. Gary claims he understands the technical details.
Sports: Key Arena/Korea flub. Mike Tyson clip: he wants to cause a brain injury.
Kay McFadden column about morbid TV reporter contacting survivor of ashes dropped over Safeco Field.
Side 2
Sputnik, cold war. Bomb shelters.
India vs. Pakistan, have to resolve conflict before monsoon.
Duck and cover.
The Outer Limits theme.
News: Wynona Ryder trial, faked an injury.
Herb: can you really fry an egg on a sidewalk? He had a bomb shelter.
June 5, 2002
8:00 - 10:00
Side 1
Lynn Schooler, "The Blue Bear."
Pat wants to see a bear in the wild
Baby shower: can guys go?
Minority Report, and Seattle press conference
8:37 Pat's girlfriend gave him hickeys, even though he didn't want them.
More on movie press conference: woman reporters flirted with Tom Cruise. Reporter tripped on mic cord.
8:50 The Pig! Guy's rules.
Pig reprise after ads.
Side 2
News: Large steel girder driven up I-5. High winds downtown.
Cowboy Code... lost?
9:10 more bomb shelter
9:20 Mostly positive letter, but writer hates Britney Spears coverage.
Crystal Douchette rerun.
News: Amorous dolphin.
Late senior discussion
9:45 Scarbo's ad #2: Old man will take his answer off the air.
Sign selected by Lisa for baby shower: "Grand Opening."
June 6, 2002
8:00 - 10:00
Side 1
Paul Harvey reads story about Chelsea Clinton drunk in U.K., buys home pregnancy kits.
Amazing Creskin predicts UFO landing.
Ross Colcheck to speak at Menderbauer Center, asks Pat for advice on what to do about being nervous speaking in public.
Performer R. Kelly in trouble.
Esquire jokes (plug)
8:38 Pat interrupts William Coller ad with a smoothie.
Nun joke, cleaned up.
Josh Peven, "Worst Case Scenario Golf."
Richard Peterson "Love on the Golf Course"
Culture Corner: "Jolly Green Giant," The Kingsmen, 1965.
Trucks barely pass under bridges
Side 2
Kalakla update
D-Day.
Chinoise Cafe: you have to bring your own MSG, and Beano.
Al Roker stiffed Herb.
Bird poop on Patty's car from Edgewater Inn valet parking. Birds choose what color to poop on. Pat reads Arthur's e-mail
June 7, 2002
8:00 - 10:00
Side 1
David Scully in studio.
Wayne Cody remembered
8:18 "Joint" replacement
Previous ad block was an "All Almost Live" block, with David doing the voice for Mercer Arts Arena.
House Hunters, now the "great" show.
Fred Hopkins, feeling "extended."
Why did he become a lawyer?
He doesn't care if his clients are guilty or not.
The Snowbeast," 1960s
Side 2
Wayne Cody remembered.
Steve Rable interview
Herb Wisebaum and Wayne.
Rick Wells, TV producer.
Perky Citrical Gal ad.
May 23, 2002
8:20 - 8:30
1. Eclipse next month: look directly into the sun. Strange noise in Kokomo, Indiana. The noise in the KOMO boss's office bothers Lisa. Strange noise in Tumwater.
2. Bottom of hour, noise
June 10, 2002
6:04 - 7:57
3. Sports: Mariners cook book. Get the "batters" out.
4. Additional 9/11 recovery, just outside World Trade Center site. "Simone" Stan Freeberg song, for substitute traffic reporter Simone Cyclie.
5. Scan Quest.
6. Anne Compton, Middle East, Israel.
7. Brief sports look.
8. Sports
9. Hendrix "Fire," for Denver fires. Interview with KOA reporter. Fire started underground in 1910.
10. Hey Barney Golf & Challenge Auction
11. Letterman: Answers to the question: how tough are the Marines? Interview: Metal of Honor.
12. Sports.
13. Jennifer Lopez split up. Pat is king of nausea; everything makes him sick. ABC news flub: "Poo-get Sound." Eclipse makes Pat nauseous.
14. O'Neil Plumbing
15. Blankenhurn's. More eclipse. Scarbo's ad, schnauzer, alliteration.
16. News: spider in woman's ear. Sports. Traffic: background noise.
17. Over the Rainbow outtakes. Katie called about spider behind Chris' ear. Dirty bomb, breaking news.
18. Saturn ad.
19. Crime Watch.
June 10, 2002
9:00 - 10:00
Side 1
Bears eat bees, not honey.
Pat prom story.
Tyson/Lewis fight: Tyson is a nice, humble looser.
Side 2
Al Roker on Herb's show?
Hot dog contest
Rollin' In My Sweet Baby's Arms jokes.
June 11, 2002
8:00 - 10:00
Side 1
End of insect bite discussion
Lisa would rather garden than ride a bike.
Kid's don't stress and strain like adults.
Singers that annoy certain individuals
Culture Corner
Husky Roof: wood peckers give up in a hurry.
Dirty bomb suspect
Side 2
Pat to wear a tank top and nothing else.
Parkinson's disease, interview Morton Kondrake
Back to dirty bomb suspect discussion.
News: Illegal to bark in Norway?
Al Roker finally went on Herb's show, left message for morning show.
Vindictive caller calls wrong station.
June 12, 2002
8:00 - 10:00
Side 1
Heroes of the World Trade Center, "trading cards." The creator of the cards denies they are trading cards, but Pat presses the point. Later some callers think Pat was too vindictive.
Sports: explosion near ballpark.
How late can Lisa show up and still get paid?
Lisa shows up! Sick as a dog. Stuck in traffic.
Signs of summer: boys puking by side of the road.
Callers ask if Lisa has morning sickness.
Side 2
AFI's 100 Most Romantic Movies, discussion
Rerun of interview with KOA reporter.
Peter Benchley shark rerun.
News: fastfood restaurants in hospitals. Hidden camera practical joke with corpse in hotel.
Final words of Jim Neighbors songs.
Whale rescue interview rerun.
Witty tombstones.
June 13, 2002
8:10 - 10:00
(Part 1 of 1)
1. Studio guests, charity auction. 13 Coins and Stan in studio. Edmonds Arts Festival.
2. O'Neil Plumbing started in 1972? Househunters on tonight. Used to be the "nice" show, then the "great" show.
3. Pointlessly Overdone Music Stab Theater.
4. News: Tag banned. Castrator. "Sometimes they just get in the way."
5. "Hungry Heart." Maxmillion introduced. Max looks thinner, had stomach stapled. Ceiling is sagging downstairs. First caller. Gary wants to know his baby's due date. "Scatter the seed."
6. Gutter Helmet. It appears Max is just eating cookies. He does move on to a walnut covered Danish. "When will I loose my keys, and where will I find them?" Pat realizes Max is a sham. Loses his train of thought.
7. Max's opinion of baby orca. Top of hour.
8. Dave Ghrol. Billie the Beagle lost, owner interview. Is dog walking back to Wyoming? Another question for Maxmillion. Max has a sharpie.
9. What lengths would you go to for your pet? Story: Fred, Pat's family pet who kept escaping, had his eye knocked out, hanging by optic nerve.
10. Bottom of hour. Whale hunt.
11. Herb in studio, QFC card. More pet stories. Woman cooks for dogs. Woman's cat piddled on boyfriend's stuff. Gary's cat piddled on baby's stuff. Dog named Rusty.
12. Mark Miller, Springer update. More Maxmillion. Club Medusa rep Tamara Wilson.
13. Coming up tomorrow: Jason reviews "Scooby Doo." How much does Max weigh? Pat scratches Max's flank.
June 14, 2002
8:00 - 10:00
Side 1
Ray from Fircrest: Pinoccio
Antiques Road Show interview
Charles Groden rerun
Mike Murphy graduated, what to do? Public relations.
Pat: "You can't leave KOMO!"
Wayne Cody funeral
Angela Kirby goes off mic, and so does Pat.
Fred Hopkins: Doctor of Doom
Side 2
Single father interview
Dad stories: trying to change channels while Dad is asleep.
Ex Lax dad story.
Househunters update: "I like it!"
Mike Cashman calls (Pat's brother), tells of picture of Pat with bow in his hair for losing a boxing match.
Food dropped on floor: five second rule.
Gary's dad's tighty whities.
June 17, 2002
8:00 - 10:00
Side 1
Give the Pat Cashman show a try... for two years or six or seven ratings periods.
Report card discussion.
Pat did not use assigned study time productively in high school; did shtick into a tape recorder instead. It's the reason Pat is stuck in his current job.
Nixon resignation speech set to Eric Clapton song.
Louie Louie for state song story.
John Levesque: new reality game show: "Dog Eat Dog."
Pat's premise for TV show: janitor gets echoey voice, but looses his powers in Carlsbad Caverns.
Pat Cashman Classic golf.
Side 2
Mike Murphy's future plans.
Scooby Doo popular movie.
Pat saw Monster's Ball, "a real downer." Not to be confused with Monsters Inc.
Windtalkers talking action figure.
Scooby Doo is the only cartoon dog named after a Frank Sinatra song.
Letterman: Sadam Summer Fun Tips.
Grocery store enhanced security cameras and PUSD.
Getting captured Al Qita members to talk.
Watergate: The Musical (scratchy.)
June 18, 2002
8:00 - 10:00
1. Top of hour, Doug Limerick.
2. La Cage a Faux in Issaquah. But first, a caller is mad about teased sasquach show never aired. Pat and John Curley sing a parody of a big production number for the local Emmy awards, but the acoustics were too poor for the song to be heard.
3. More La Cage a Faux, Rich Grey. "Hairspray."
4. News: Sound Transit, Woodenville hole. Sports. Tower Deli: free lunch for everyone, Slopy Joes.
5. Chinoise Cafe: Cashman Family MSG fortune
6. Hole in Woodenville, Lisa doesn't believe that it is bottomless. Movie plot for going down the hole.
7. Lighten-Up. Movie music for going down the hole. Sasquatch update
8. Top of hour.
9. News: Woodenville hole, interview. Ted Crackerwagon live report at the Woodenville Hole
10. Clem: Top 10 Interesting Kitchen Facts.
11. Classic Cashman Bigfoot interview. He's as real as that cow and goat in the studio. Pandas were only just recently proven. Gary: Why no Bigfoot poop? Is Lisa switching sides?
12. Bottom of hour, Jessie Ventura not running for second term.
13. News: Sound Transit.
14. Herb to talk about urine. Callers give their Bigfoot sighting stories. Gary would make a terrible Bigfoot witness, would probably faint. Ventura interview coming up; Pat doesn't want to mix fantasy and factual elements of the show.
15. "Jessie Ventura" interview
16. End.
June 19, 2002
8:00 - 10:00
Side 1
High school pranks:
Superglue in locks, teacher thought it was yellow Jolly Rancher on her key when she licked it off.
Soap in fountains, made the front page.
Classic bit: "The Stupid Little Stunt That Ticks People Off the Most."
Jessie Ventura interview rerun.
Old jokes, with sound effects.
Top rated TV shows.
Darryl Eckles wanted to be baseball player
Side 2
Alaska fire started by fireworks to scare off moose.
Dead animal mounted heads.
Rosie to Caroline transition.
Steroids in baseball.
Herb: will answer personal medical problems.
Weekly World News: medical problem: toenail biting.
War against supersizing
Lisa orders kids meal.
June 20, 2002
8:00 - 10:00
Side 1
Psychic in studio: Suzanne Northrup
Reads Lisa's late mother and grandmother. Takes calls.
Side 2
White bean stew update. Gary: "Paprika amends."
George W. exercise edict.
Large people charged double for Southwest Airline seats.
E-mail from Julie.
Booger people?
Butt mouse.
June 21, 2002
8:00 - 10:00
Side 1
Salvation Army benefit.
Vince Vallencevilla
E-mail reactions to psychic yesterday.
Fred Hopkins, bad drivers. "US Catman, Lethal Track."
Side 2
Joke for the day
Lisa to go to Disneyland on the 4th of July.
Pat's son at Denny's before Disneyland, had to finish all his breakfast.
Ruby Montana on phone, Palm Springs.
News: Man eaten by crocodile
On Herb's show today: boobs and cars.
Bring your pet to work day: Billy and Nancy. Gary afraid of cows.
Lisa and brushing dog's teeth. Poultry flavored toothpaste for $8.50
Expressing anal glands.
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