Cashman Compilations






At this point in the collection, Clem Phlergm off handedly said he wouldn't mind having a collection of all his calls on one CD. Several weeks and four CDs later (and counting), I came up with the definitive Clem Collection. I gave him the Thanksgiving 2000 parade when Clem was in the studio, which I already had on CD. I also digitized the last two hours of Pat, Clem and company filling in for Ernie Brown in the afternoon, and had enough individual phone-in bits for one and a half CDs, with the next one finished when Clem made enough additional phone calls to the show.


Phlergm Phoundlings Pt 1

1. Clem wants to be producer: from The Buzz
2. Other Things Models Are Selling: October 26, 1999
3. Things Lisa Should Do Now That She Is Working: KOMO Bowl, November 12, 1999
4. Surf Dude and Clem at Sunbreak Cafe in Auburn: November 13, 1999
5. Clem and Eric Johnson at Sunbreak Cafe
6. Things Clem is Thankful for: Thanksgiving Day Parade, November 24, 1999
7. Things Clem Will Do If He Doesn't Win One Million Dollars: Seattle Aquarium, December 3, 1999
8. Colin Hutchins loses!
9. Good Things About Working in a Small Market Station: December 10, 1999
10. Clem's Music Selections, December 17, 1999
11. Colin & Spiders in Bed, December 17, 1999 (Whoops! Not Clem)
12. VH1 Montage, and short comment. January 18, 2000
13. Other Uses For a Pig Spleen, February 4, 2000
14. Bad Ideas For Valentine's Day. February 14, 2000
15. Other Demands of Ken Griffey Jr. (& "Makes You Limp" joke), February 11, 2000
16. Kingdome Implosion Slogan Ideas, February 23, 2000
17. Most Popular Attractions at the Northwest Women''s Show, March 3, 2000
18. At the Seattle Aquarium, June 7, 2000
19. Bob Knight Excuses, September 11, 2000
20. Artificial Insemination Pickup Lines, September 20, 2000
21. Punch lines to Artificial Insemination Jokes, September 21, 2000
22. Bad Things About Being an Artificial Inseminator, September 22, 2000
23. Suggestions for Lisa's Regis Video, October 3, 2000
24. Colin's Sick Child Misses Halloween, October 31, 2000
25. Navel Observations, November 6, 2000
26. Ideas for Lisa's Next Date, November 17, 2000
27. Colin's Ideas for Additional Votes for Pet Owners, From the Dori Monson Show.




Phlergm Phoundlings 2
Mostly first half of 2001

1. Y2k Preparations, December 23, 1999
2. Least Popular Toys of the Century, December 26, 2000
3. "Nancy and I are just friends", February 6, 2001
4. Surf Dude Clem Observation, February 19, 2001
5. My Dinner With Pat, (date unknown)
6. Advice for Rick Miller, February 16, 2001
7. Pineapple Upside-down Cake Sign Stolen! February 19, 2001
8. What To Do About the Tooth? February 21, 2001
9. Cool Things About an Earthquake, March 2, 2001
10. Other Euphemisms for the Plumber's Crack, March 8, 2001
11. Punch lines to Irish Jokes, March 16, 2001
12. Men and Women Are Like Random Analogies; Top 10 Other Surprises About Phil Condit's Speech, March 22, 2001
13. Good Things About Being a Guy, April 14, 2001
14. Least Popular Mexican Adventures, April 17, 2001
15. Clem Missing? April 20, 2001
16. Other New KOMO Slogan Suggestions, April 20, 2001
17. Fire Fighter Terms That Sound Dirty, But Really Aren't, May 18, 2001
18. Cool Things About Being a Cartoonist, with Brian Basset, May 31, 2001
19. Signs That You Are a Lousy Super hero, June 5, 2001
20. Punch lines to the Clown Joke, June 12, 2001
21. Survivor Pickup Lines, June 14, 2001
22. Colin's Child Matthew's Birthday, June 20, 2001
23. Mexican List #1: Travel Tips, June 21, 2001
24. Mexican List #2: Punch lines to Jokes Heard In Mexico June 22, 2001
25. Comparisons Between Working In Radio and Shoveling Cattle Stalls, July 17, 2001
26. Punch lines to Golf Jokes, June 1, 2001
27. Lease-a-Lisa Audition (Not Clem, but a call he admires), July 5, 2001




Phlergm Phoundlings #3

Rich Gough collection, from The Buzz:
1. Tracey Conway teases Clem. September 1996
2. Open house at airport, and Clem's recent girlfriend. 1996
3. Miss America, and Top 10 Surprises at Bill Gate's new house. September 1997.
4. Clem sets Christmas trees free, and has a vegan dinner. October 1997
5. Last meal. Top Nine Bad Experiences at the Dentist. January 1998
6. Top 10 Renton disappointments. May 1998
7. Top 10 Signs Valentine's Day Won't Go Your Way. February 13, 1997
8. Top 10 Steve Wilson Pickup Lines. Summer 1998
9. Top Nine Things That Went Through Pat's Mind While Pulling 7 Gs, and Top 10 Reasons Why Clem Should Fly With The Blue Angles. September 1998

10. Colin loses the tabloid contest--again! January 17, 2000
11. Clem and the Monolith Monster. Jauary 28, 2000
12. Colin: link weatherman's pay to accuracy. September 20, 2000
13. Other Reign of Terror ideas. October 3, 2000
14. Top 10 Ways to Reach a Conclusion in Florida. November 13, 2000
15. Clem at bowling alley. November 17, 2000

16. Top 10 Nice Ways to Introduce Sex Into the Show. August 2, 2001
17. Clem at Safeco Field. Top 10 Changes to the Miss America Pagent. August 15, 2001
18. Other Performing Rodents. August 20, 2001
19. Clem in studio. Gert on phone: Things a Girl Shouldn't Say to a Man During Sex. Clem does duck voice September 4, 2001
20. Top 10 Rentencennial Activities. September 6, 2001
21. Seattle Exotic Meats. Top 10 Punchlines to the World's Funniest Jokes. October 3, 2001
22. Top 10 Things Clem Should Have Learned Sooner. October 30, 2001
23. Top 10 Products That Sound Strange, But Aren't. October 15, 2001
24. Butter. Clem's Gems. October 18, 2001
25. Top 10 Things a Man Should Never Talk About With a Woman. October 23, 2001
26. Is Clem one of the most beautiful people of the Northwest? November 5, 2001




Phlergm Phoundlings #4
Tracks 1 & 3-10 provided by Rich Gough

1. Things overheard at Miss Dudley's Wedding. September 1999
2. Real reasons Paul Schell canceled New Year's Eve. December 29, 1999
3. Exotic Meat lover pickup lines. March 13, 2000
4. Least popular booths at the Northwest Women's Show. March 31, 2000
5. Cool things about being awarded Seattle's Best Radio Host from Evening Magazine. Spring 2000
6. Houses other than snout houses banned by Portland. April 13, 2000
7. Excuses for spiting in Seattle. May 2000
8. Song title suggestions for Ken Boynton and Tom McGurk. April 2000
9. Things Clem learned from Marion. December 2000
10. Clem's parade observations and deep fried Thanksgiving. November 26, 2001

11. Colin gives directions to Kenmore Lanes. November 16, 2001
12. Vice president of marketing for Uranus Cars. November 16, 2001
13. Dead body at KOMO-TV. November 21, 2001
14. Ways to suck up to Santa. December 6, 2001
15. Clem and J. P. Patches. December 7, 2001
16. Clem says goodbye to Bill Swartz. December 14, 2001
17. Separate areas for offensive behaviors. December 27, 2001
18. Words and phrases Clem would like to remove from the English language. January 2, 2002 (Provided by Deadhead)
19. New Year's predictions. January 3, 2002
20. Bad ideas for a singles ad. January 8, 2002
21. Other Tim Eyman initiatives. January 29, 2002
22. Things Gary Condit will find if reelected. February 20, 2002
23. Colin sets speed record in reading Green Eggs and Ham. March 1, 2002
24. Other shadow organizations. March 1, 2002
25. Best photos at the Northwest Women's Show. March 6, 2002


Phlerghm Phoundlings #5

1. Cool things about San Diego. December 29, 1999.
2. Federal Way city slogans. March 22, 2002
3. Mistakes dumb guys make on Yo Yo Ma's name. April 16, 2002
4. Features of the Fisher/Mariners broacast deal. April 24, 2002
5. Rejected Auburn city slogans. April 25, 2002
6. Other city's slogans. April 26, 2002
7. NFL player pickup lines. May 7, 2002
8. Interesting kitchen facts. June 18, 2002
9. Other science experiments that got Larry Goldberg in trouble. June 20, 2002
10. Worst TV shows never made. July 15, 2002
11. Signs you are a lousy action hero. August 27, 2002

12. Clem in studio for Pat's final day at KOMO, presents Pat with the Clem Phlergm collection
13. Pat replays the bit from November 21, 2001 about Miki spotting a dead body at Fisher Plaza.
14. Final call, thanks to all the Morning Show staff. September 6, 2002

15. Clem's girlfriends. Pat's first day at KJR-FM, August 11, 2003
16. Other Phrases That Pay. August 14, 2003
17. Other records set at the Louie Louie Fest. August 27, 2003
18. Clem's high school reunion. September 8, 2003
19. Tips on cheating with a cell phone. October 1, 2003
20. Ray in Fircrest's Dame Edna imperonation...
21. ...And Clem's comment. October 7, 2003
22. Clem at Kenmore Lanes for Treehouse coat drive. November 19, 2004




The Best of Bill, Disc 1

1. Bill Swartz: Sportscaster of the Year. May 2001. Provided by Deadhead.
2. Bill doesn't have cable, part 1; June 7, 2001
3. No cable, part 2
4. No cable, part 3; June 8, 2001
5. No cable, part 4

6. Pat's navel ring. August 27, 2001

7. Bill's son is afraid of needles. June 11, 2001
8. Bill goes back to school shopping with his kids. August 29, 2001
9. The truth. August 29, 2001

10. Bill spoils the "Name That Tone" contest. September 7, 2001
11. Bill spoils contest, part 2

12. Bill collects money for the Red Cross, September 12, 2001
13. More of Bill at Southcenter
14. The day after the day after. September 13, 2001

15. Bill doesn't record The Practice, September 27, 2001
16. Listeners tell Bill the ending to The Practice

Bill at the Tailgate
17. Pee Wee at Aurora Cinema Grill, 1999
18. Sammy D. looking for the Rat Pack at Cinema Grill, 1999
19. Bob Robertson, September 8, 2001
20. Bob Robertson 2
21. Other team's tailgate, part 1
22. Other team's tailgate, part 2
23. Lou Pinella
24. Ron Fairley
25. Husky Gardeners
26. Bruce King, September 22, 2001
27. Husky Gardeners
28. Lou Pinella
29. Ron Fairley
30. Bob Robertson 1
31. Bob Robertson 2
32. Bruce King, September 29, 2001
33. Bob Robertson 1
34. Bob Robertson 2
35. Wayne Cody
36. Ron Fairley
37. Husky Gardeners
38. Bruce King, October 6, 2001
39. Ron Fairley
40. Husky Gardeners
41. Lou Pinella

Best of Bill, Disc 2

Tailgates, continued
1. Bruce King, October 13, 2001
2. Ron Fairley
3. Bob Robertson
4. Bruce King October 20, 2001
5. Ron Fairley
6. Bill knows today's quarterback, but won't tell.
7. Lou Pinella
8. Bob Robertson
9. Bob Robertson October 27, 2001
10. Bruce King
11. Ron Fairley
12. Ron Fairley November 3, 2001
13. Lou Pinella
14. Bob Robertson
15. Bob Robertson, November 10, 2001
16. Husky Gardeners

Swartz Shorts
17. Gary Hoffman "Whiz." December 10, 1999
18. Bill's Flipper impression. December 3, 1999
19. Deck the halls with Lou Pinella. December 23, 1999
20. Bob Robertson's Groundhog's Day. February 2, 2000
21. Report on the National "Hoffie Lurge." October 4, 2000
22. Wet seats at Safeco Field. May 16, 2001
23. "KOMFO" report on Mariner's bullpen. June 21, 2001
24. Chainsaw sound effect 1. June 29, 2001
25. Chainsaw effect 2. July 11, 2001
26. Sprinkler sound effect. June 29, 2001
27. Upcoming TV show "Inside Swartz." July 11, 2001
28. Bill's deep voice. July 12, 2001
29. Ali to fight Lisa 1. June 11, 2001
30. Ali to fight Lisa 2. July 13, 2001
31. One toot salute (Safeco Field trains). July 11, 2001
32. Lots of sweaty people at All-Star game. July 11, 2001
33. Bill's golf joke. July 12, 2001
34. Bill Swartz late to the microphone. With Lan Archer. July 20, 2001
35. Bill had to pay to get in to the Rose Bowl. August 10, 2001
36. Child's answer to the Mariner's Spring Training home: "Peoreo." August 17, 2001
37. Little league coach moons his team for photo. August 22, 2001
38. "Seahawk Wiener" song. August 23, 2001
39. Fake blood, "Yum!" August 22, 2001
40. Bill can be the tackling dummy, August 27, 2001
41. A complete sports report. No Mariners game tonight! Pat Cashman Golf Tournament. August 27, 2001
42. More on Cashman Golf Tournament, results. August 27, 2001
43. Tampa Bay Devil Rays: bottom feeders? August 28, 2001
44. Another complete report. Cougars not on Seattle radio. August 31, 2001
45. Brett Boone's injury is like.... September 21, 2001
46. Player has "Cashman-esque speed." September 24, 2001
47. Help the Seahawks get a touchdown. September 24, 2001
48. Real "grass?" September 26, 2001
49. Seahawks coach uses the "F-bomb." September 27, 2001
50. Lisa needs a big crazy man to protect her. September 27, 2001
51. Gary not born by 1976? September 28, 2001
52. Lou Pinella. Pat swings both ways. September 28, 2001
53. "Does Mike Holmbgren's plan include winning?" November 6, 2001
54. "Everybody, leave the ice." November 7, 2001
55. Randy Johnson sounds excited. November 8, 2001
56. DeShawn Foster. November 8, 2001
57. More on Foster's car. November 8, 2001
58. NFL contraction, must combine Tampa Bay and The Packers. November 2, 2001
59. Brad Liggins asks Bill to repeat the Tam-Pacs joke. November 2, 2001
60. "I have the Pat Cashman Show type diarrhea." November 6, 2001
61. Take a deep breath.
62. Bill and Lisa sing the "Charlie" jingle. November 8, 2001

Bill Bits
63. "Swartz, rejected!"
64. Haggis
65. Lou Pinella: Pat with gas.
66. What do Ichiro and Pat Cashman have in common?
67. Chef Lou
68. Conserving Water


The End?
69. "Is that it for Sports with Swartz?" "Trust me Swartz, it's over!" November 7, 2001
70. "I'm still here!!!" November 8, 2001.




The Miss Dudley Collection

1. Miss Dudley & Six Wedding discussion at the Aurora Cinema Grill, October 9, 1999
2. Miss Dudley gives Pat anti-mole pinwheels. October 9, 1999
3. Thanksgiving Day Parade. November 24, 1999
4. Miss Dudley's Valentine's Day greetings to Six. February 14, 2000
5. Reaction to announcement of Rod Danz at Oscars, Valentine's gift exchange. February 25, 2000
6. Lynn from Magnolia Call to the Lisa Foster Show, dumbest thing she did for love, July 7, 2000
7. KOMO/Cashman one Year Anniversary, August 23, 2000
8. Miss Dudley's anniversary; Rod Danz "Sweet Dreams," October 3, 2000
9. Miss Dudley at Northwest Afternoon, At KOMO Bowl II, November 17, 2000
10. Dudley's daughter's birthday, February 9, 2001
11. Helping Pat with "Compare and Contrast" March 8, 2001
12. Miss Dudley calls about Trisha. March 23, 2001
13. Lisa's Birthday; Dave Dudley discussion. Miss Dudley call: "I is shocked at what age you is." July 24, 2001
14. Name that tune. Miss Dudley wins, Tootsie plays too. August 17, 2001
15. Miss Dudley calendar inquiry. September 20, 2001
16. News about studio guest show auction. October 26, 2001
17. Pre-bowling, November 15, 2001

Additions:
18. Miss Dudley and Fred Hopkins. February 13, 1997
19. First call to KOMO
20. Dudley/Six wedding, background.
21. Dudley/Six wedding, Pat's toast.
22. In defense of Billy and Nancy. December 14, 1999
23. Lynn calls in for Stan Boreson. December 16, 1999
24. Miss Dudley and the Final Word. March 28, 2000
25. Reaction to Red Sovine song. June 30, 2000
26. Parade report: Dave Dudley float. July 4, 2000


27. "Miss Dudley loves alcohol!" February 21, 2002
28. Lynn: Why not show reruns of Almost Live at gas pumps? May 28, 2002
29. In studio for Lisa's birthday. July 24, 2002
30. Garden club matron. (Anyone we know?) July 24, 2002
31. Studio visit with gifts. August 14, 2002
32. Reaction to Lisa playing Dave Dudley for Pergola and trucks story. August 19, 2002
33. Lisa's face. "Is you really drug free?" September 4, 2002
34. Miss Dudley and Fred Hopkins together for final show. "The Road to Nashville" September 6, 2002




Coach Rick Neuheisel Pep Talks

1. Green Acres
2. Mighty Mouse
3. Brady Bunch
4. Petticoat Junction
5. Mary Tyler More
6. Beverly Hillbillies
7. Mr. Ed
8. Husky With No Name
9. The Candyman
10. Le Freak
11. Shake Your Bootie
12. MacArthur Park
13. Seasons In the Sun
14. Jump
15. Stayin' Alive
16. Boogie Oogie Oogie
17. Ghostbusters
18. Joy To the World

Cashman Show Promos:
19. Body Exploding
20. Invisible Men
21. Igor
22. Sex Toilet
23. Jason
24. Pat's Son
25. Reach For...
26. Side Effects May Include...
27. Feeling Nauseous?
28. Punchlines to Jokes
29. What Is It About?
30. Radio's Boldest Program
31. People Are Talking
32. Books
33. Morning Radio That Isn't Crude
34. I Wish...
35. New Listener?
36. Monday's Show
37. Scream

KOMO Station I.D.'s
38. Having Trouble Getting Out of Bed?
39. Looking for Morning Radio That Is Not Embarrassing?
40. Food Bowl
41. Similar to Football
42. Exciting Radio
43. Rose Bowl
44. Begging You to Listen
45. Never Repetitive
46. Recently Expanded
47. The Greatest Morning Show In the History of Broadcasting
48. Simon Says
49. Sound Effects
50. Twins
51. Woman Testimonial
52. Legal I. D.
53. Basketball

54. Shmoo in Las Vegas, February 23, 2000
55. Shmoo at the Rose Bowl, January 1, 2001




Ohhhhhh Yeahhhhhhhh!!! The Best of Jason Valentine, vol 1

1. The best movies of the 1990s. Note what a short yell qualifies as a record on December 17, 1999.
2. Magnolia. Not a positive review. January 14, 2000
3. The Hurricane. Jason is still a little ticked off from last week. Paul Tosch uses a Zip-Lock bag. January 21, 2000
4. Spokane rumors. James Bond news. Review: Angela's Ashes. January 28, 2000
5. Origins of the "Oh Yeah" signature. "Primal Scream" Eye of the Beholder. February 4, 2000
6. Jason says he is quitting reviewing if the two movies reviewed this week don't get five Komodes out of five. The movies are The Grinch and Charlie's Angles. November 17, 2000
7. Introduction to Jason's year-end appearance. "It's the WORST YEAR in MOVIES!!!", January 1, 2001
8. Worst movies of 2000, part 1
9. Worst movies of 2000, part 2
10. Best movies of 2000, part 1
11. Best movies of 2000, part 2
12. "You don't want me to yell?" March 16, 2001
13. Above continued. Enemy At the Gate.
14. Moulin Rouge intro.
15. Moulin Rouge review (or not). June 1, 2001
16. Evolution intro.
17. Evolution review. June 8, 2001
18. Swordfish review. Jason is looking forward to seeing this movie on DVD, with its freeze-frame feature. June 15, 2001

Ohhhhhhh Yeahhhhhh!!!! The Best of Jason Valentine, vol 2

1. Seahawks question. Star Wars news, and "Attack of the Clones" joke. August 10, 2001
2. Above continued. Brad Liggins calls to fire Jason unless his reviews are more salacious. Rat Race review.
3. American Pie 2. Jason keeps hearing voices. August 17, 2001
4. Jason's yell hits a speed bump. "Anyways." August 31, 2001.
5. Above continued. Jay attempts to review Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, but Pat won't interact with him and Lisa keeps shopping for cars on the Internet.
6. Austin Powers news. September 7, 2001
7. Above continued. Rock Star.
8. Jason's fourth anniversary on Cashman's show.
9. Above continued. Domestic Disturbance review. "It's John Travolta's best performance since Battlefield Earth!" Jennifer's cat is going crazy from Jason's yelling. November 2, 2001
10. Monsters Inc. November 9, 2001




The Saga of Lisa and Dinoman
Fall 2001

(I didn't record the very first time Pat read the Dinoman article from the Weekly World News, so we now join the story one week later...)

1. Lisa's e-mail to Dinoman. October 29, 2001
2. More on Lisa's e-mail. Dinoman's picture in the Weekly World News. October 29, 2001.
3. Does Dinoman smile? October 29, 2001.
4. Lisa may get Dinoman a Buckwheat Pillow. E-mail from Rich: Lisa's kids will be one fourth dinosaur. October 29, 2001
5. Dinoman hasn't responded yet. Two-headed calf parallel. October 30, 2001
6. Lisa gets response. Sends his own photo. November 5.
7. Dinoman not interested in a long-term romance. Pat sees the photo Dinoman sent, seems too good to be true. Lisa's biological clock is ticking. November 8, 2001
8. John in Woodenville call, Dinoman's dental health. November 13, 2001
9. Lisa doesn't want to talk about Dinoman; deflects the issue by brining up Pat wetting his pants. November 13, 2001
10. Bubba Rabinski e-mail, Poplar Doppler, interspecies dating. Lisa's blind date in New York City, not Washington, D. C. November 29, 2001
11. "Love Hurts" song. Pat tries to cheer Lisa up. November 29.




Pat Cashman Show
Hate Mail Collection

1. From Jim: hates Lisa's cackle when she laughs. January 21, 2000
2. From Tina: hates Pat Cashman Show. February 23, 2000
3. From Carroll: hates Rod Danz.(Listening to Rod Danz for the first time is like...) May 4, 2000
4. From Harold Young: list of complaints for Lisa. With Ernie Brown. September 15, 2000
5. From Mike Murphy: 51-OFF-BY calls "not edited." June 18, 2001
6. Hate Mail greatest hits. June 18, 2001
7. From Barry: hates hate mail. June 20, 2001
8. From Buster Hump: hates the Mexican trip complaints of Pat and company. June 25, 2001
9. From Port: KOMO is a waste of energy. June 25, 2001
10. From Rachel to Lisa: "No man will have you." August 17, 2001
11. From the Angry Canadian: hates expanded show. September 6, 2001
12. From Karen in West Seattle: hates Pat's inaccurate time checks. November 9, 2001
13. From Kim, hates Lisa's stress incontinence ads; and Deborah, hates Lisa's profanity. January 24, 2002

(Need to add: Sept. 4, 2001, part 1, #14:Beagleman & Cashman hate message, 3:50-5:47
Feb 19, 2002, part 1, #9 Complaint against Lisa's Britney Spears comment, (reference to February 15.) Also, complaint about show giving wrong times.




Walkman recorder
(For whenever I heard something worth recording away from home.)

Side 1
Lisa Entertainment Report, April 13, 2000
Clem chain saw.
Joey turkey/cookie joke
Stupid Report
Entertainment Report
Pete Sovine interview
Cynthia
Telephone Skills Workshop
Harrold tight pants.
Clem: Top 10 Bad Things About Being an Artifical Inseminator
Who Said It?
Clem: Least Popular Toys of the Century

Side 2
Colin: Pets
Tootsie wedding, January 19, 2001
Clem's dinner with Pat
Beagleman excerp
Clem: Top 10 Pices of Advice for Rick Miller
Guido the Garbage Guy
Fred Hopkins intro
Pat and Steve Wilson: Imelda Marcos
Daughter muffin
Pizza ambulance
Clem: what to do about the tooth, February 2, 2001
Clem: earthquake
Contrast and Compare, March 2, 2002
Clem: Good Things About Being a Guy, April 14, 2001





KOMO Holiday Parades



Parades, disc 1
November 24, 1999 (Provided and edited by Deadhead)
Part 1

1. Bottom of hour, Gary back
2. Traffic, Lisa not in same room. Sponsored by New York Times. "I knew it!"
3. Pat NOT moving to afternoon. Macy's balloons parade description
4. More parade basics, "tendrils." Hillary Clinton running for senate, or not? Money with Bob Ferrari
5. Traffic
6. Pudding.com. Parade start, lead by street sweeper. Kingdome float, Department of Transportation float, Ken Griffey float. Paul Schell and exotic animals. Parade not promoted, not even Jean Godden will mention it.
7. Paul Tosch band (scratchy).
8. Pat makes fun of KOMO-TV announcer. Word of the Day: haustellum. Randy at Sea-Tac: Port of Seattle Sea-Tac Parking Garage float. Conrad: Microsoft Computer float.
9. Guns.com. Seahawks float. Victoria's Secret. Apple float, behind horses. Cliff in Renton, Starbucks float(s). Tosch doesn't see parade. KSTW float.
10. We're back? Poorly promoted. Miki cries. Precision rollerblading team. Deja Vu float. Tosch still can't see parade, Microsoft float.
11. Y2k Preparedness float.
12. More Tosch, scratchy mic. Pat, Lisa and Bill make fun of Todd Johnson in chorus.
13. Gilda's Club auction, Glida audio clip. Interview. Joan in Enumclaw, marching Holsteins. Paul Tosch.
14. Washington State Ferry float. Word of the Day, upcoming event at the Aquarium. Miss Dudley, "It's Lovin' Time." Pat Pack float, KOMO Management float. Paul Tosch.
15. Glass Eyeballs.com. KVI float. Lincoln Towing Hanford Foot float. Ron Simms. Boeing Float, "Cut back on the cooking sheri." Paul Tosch: Kathy Goertzen motorcade.
16. Jason Valentine: Sleepy Hollow. Tim Burton movies of the 90s
18. Top of hour
18 Vitimins.com. Those Little Rubber Things You Put On Your Fingers To Make Turning Pages Easier.com Paul Tosch.
19. Exercise Equipment Center, with sound effects.


Parades Disc 2
November 24, 1999, Part 2

1. Lisa: "Does the band know any other songs?" Cougs to Hawaii. Clem: what he is thankful for.
2. Bigfoot/Sasquatch? Todd Johnson rap float. Parade over.
3. Fred Hopkins (edited), Dracula vs. Frankenstine (1971).
4. Wilcox Farms egg nog ad.
5. Top of hour, end

February 21, 2000
President's Day Parade
Part 1, 6:00 - 7:30

6. Top of hour
7. News: handwritten Bible. Sports. Stout Hearted Men. "Stick together (eww!)" Parade start. Tony Ventralla, bigfoot float. Parade correspondent Chris Nearsight (guess who?) Public Access float. Mayor Schell. Bill the cab driver. Errant sound. Deja Vu.
8. Toyota of Seattle, live read.
9. Rod Danz. Brian from North Alberta. Les Schwab. Mike in West Seattle, Bu-- float, "No Pat, no ratings." Hector in Tacoma.
10. Bottom of hour.
11. Sports: Ken Griffey in Florida. Tootise Plunkette: Sade fan club.
12. Lisa laser eye surgery. Washington State Ferry float. Ross at airport. Chris: Planet Hollywood, Christopher Walken. Pat hates news teases. Ikea float.
13. Larry Nelson. Farmer Kevin. Fax: is the parade for real?
14. Paul Tosch: precision mowing team. Dancing Ivars clams?
15. Top of hour
16. News: Potato Day. Lou Pinella: post-Griffey. Seattle Police dance team. Ken Griffey balloon. KVI float. Chris: WSU. Rupert Mitchell float. Ballard Dodge Dart, hand band. Toilets. Dustin shower parade. Sunny Kobe Cook. Bill Clinton. Parking meters are "free."
17. Allen's Furniture ad (augmented)
18. Birthday Game. Monday's Coaches Show.


Parade Disc 3
President's Day 2000
Part 2, 7:30 - 9:00

1. Bottom of hour.
2. Sports
3. Closed today... Waterfront Trolley. Frat float. Chris: Sanikans. Tom Shane. Vice President's floats. Whidbey Island call, sea gulls. Chris: burned and melted float? Mattress float. Sound Ford announcer.
4. More Griffey balloon. Gary sees parade, Gary Locke balloon.
5. Top of hour
6. Pat's impression. Sports
7. Billy and Nancy in parade. Marion: elephant poop. Schell float again. James Brown. Katie Evens, Lighten-Up.
8. Ryan Larson, Seattle Exotic Meats, contest. Russ Farsight in Sumner.
9. Bottom of hour, "eye popping" parade.
10. News: Ralph Nader joins presidential race.
11. Y2k float. Ivar's. PAWS. Helga from Balard. Sound Ford announcer with Christopher Walken. Disneyland float. Cable TV float. Boeing strike float? Exotic Meats parade.
12. Lisa and Clear Vision, staring at a bush. Latka: Gettysburg Address. Tom Shane. Parade review, end.
13. Traffic, money.
14. Top of hour, end.

15. July 4, 199? (Buzz): Arthur's parade observations.




Parade Disc 4
July 4, 2000
Part 1

1. Birthdays. Parade starts at six, no one in street. KOMO radio promo on morning TV? They expect radio to promote KOMO morning TV? Traffic (Yeehaa!!)
2. July 4 history. Expensive parade. Pat distracted by something on TV.
3. Top of hour: "If not us, who?"
4. "Born In the USA." Letterman: Signs your Greyhound bus driver needs a break.
5. Community events. Parade start. Patty Murray Middle School. Deet and meat-free floats. Lan Archer's brother: Microsoft.
6. Ed: A&W Root Beer float. Bill the cab driver, all-goat glee club. Canada geese. Wooden Indian? Washington State Liquor Board float. Soy float. Windows 2000 float.
7. Bottom of hour.
8. Sports: Bob Robertson.
9. Parade won't go on I-5 this year. Nobody on street, poor promotion. Listener drove in from Tacoma, sees Bend High School Lava Bears. Synchronized drill team: KO-Music Experience team. Ye Olde Curiosity Shoppe mummy? Dr. Laura on KOMO float
10. Dr. Laura continued. Port of Seattle float. Miki, vandal and felon float. If they have the 4th of Jul-Ivars, why can't they have the AT&Tea Party? Microsoft float. Dan Lewis hair products. Maccaw float. Lincoln Toe Truck. Wayne Cody. Spirit of Washington float. Disney float. Brock Adams Elementary, "all hands."
11. Circ Du Sole. IHOP float.
12. Top of hour
13. Sports, fishing. "It's Tuesday, but they're running on a Sunday schedule." Not many people watching parade.
14. Big Al, Wonderbar. Lisa flubs Stanley Steamer name. Seattle Mime Club.
15. Stout Hearted Men.
16. Pat checks the Pat Pack, Hobya, Grand Marshall question. George Washington and Martha. Salmon Commission float. Rod Danz.


Parade Disc 5
July 4, 2000
Part 2

1. Bottom of hour.
2. Sports, Mariners float. Weenie float. James Brown.
3. "You're a Grand Old Flag." Listeners not seeing parade. Joan: dancing heifers. Larry Nelson. What happened to Declaration of Independence signers. Johnny Cash song. George Bush electrical problem. Elian Gonzalez. Dirty windows. John Carlson. Is the parade a hoax? It's a flop. Strawberry Festival float with slug. Miki again, ACLU and criminals.
4. Alice from Eastside: don't stop parade! She sees bags of money. Parade still a flop. Paul in Wallingford.
5. Top of hour. News: Paul Schell on KOMO Parade.
6. Sports: Mike Studley sound clip. Latka, "Let Freedom Ring" float. More on dirty windows. Rod in Lynnwood. Chris in University Place, clowns. Eggo Joe. Camille from east side, Mike Segle float.
7. Martha Norwalk, Woody Woodpecker.
8. Fred Russell washes the KOMO windows. Parade review. Lolly, potluck breakfast, lawn mower drill team. Bill does chain saw effect. Britney Spears on TV. More on windows. Corey in Magnolia, Billy the goat on skateboard. "Carnation indivisible." Hooters float. Events and Adventures. There are no "Der, der, ders" at Events and Adventures. What does that make Lisa? Bottom of hour, broadcast in stereo.
9. News: July 4 in Kosovo. Paul Schell on KOMO Parade.
10. IHOP ad read, Pat and Bill react. More on Fred Russell window washing. Ted on Orcas Island, Ed Wynn? Carroll in Shoreline, pet parade. Monroe Demolition Derby. Fred Russell in reflection, apparently done. Glenn in Federal Way: Norman Nostril and his Nine Nasty Nose Diggers. More on Fred Russell quitting. Lotto ad read, but jackpot figures are missing. Lisa makes some numbers up. Nellie, musical armpit guys.
11. Parade winding down. Eagles carrying flag. Caller Paul sees Jim Foreman float. Paul Schell on phone, cancels parade.
12. Caller was impostor: Gary Hoffman. Pat calls Gary to task.
13. Top of hour. News: the real Paul Schell.





Parade Disc 6
Thanksgiving 2000
Part 1

1. Open
2. Sports
3. Parade prep, Pat's promo
4. Boris Karloff, Name of the Day
5. Top of hour
6. Sports
7. Parade start
8. Britta flush, Letterman: Signs That Americans Are Too Fat
9. Schell float, James Brown
10. Washington State Ferry float, Jim Foreman float
11. Bottom of hour
12. Sports, Chef Lou
13. Montalabo Pameram, Loomis Balloon, Thanksgiving dinners, content.com, Don Williams float, Wayne Cody, Dr. Laura intro
14. Precision dental drill team, Jean Enerson, Susan Hutchinson and Kathy Goertzen
15. Top of hour
16. Dade County float, Clem doin' it by hand
17. First Thanksgiving, city cars, Alice from Texas, Lisa's float
18. Barney's Bra Warehouse


Parade Disc 7
Thanksgiving 2000
Part 2

1. Deja Vu float & related, Bill the Cab Driver
2. Bottom of hour
3. Turkey Testicles
4. "Place tag here." Neosplorela ... Disease, Frogman song, Bob Robertson, Miki, Mike Murphy sees kid filled float, Michelle
5. Hemorrhoids, solo instruments
6. Top of hour
7. Paul Harvey joke (don't stop him if you've heard it before), Clem & Todd, Purple & Gold Report.
8. Clem's Larry Nielson impression, Scott Cardie's final report? John Report With Bob float, Steve Wilson from Fisher Plaza, Dan Lewis balloon & other KOMO-TV
9. Cardie: pets.com
10. Bottom of hour
11. Clem under the street, Spuddy, Scottsman song, Kingdome float, dressing into the cavity, loud band
12. WTO float, Harry from Lake City, poorly publicized parade, geoduck float?
13. Edith Head's trip to the Santa pet photographer
14. AT&T @ Home ad
15. CBS News flub




Parade Disc 8
Thanksgiving 2001
(November 22)
Part 1

1. Parade not well promoted. Steve Wilson's Lakewood home, photos of him on Fredrick and Nelson's Santa lap. Steve's family gets new TV on JFK assassination day.
2. D. B. Cooper
3. Top of hour
4. Sports
5. Parade start. Can't Believe It's Not Butter float.
6. Letterman: Signs your football game is fixed.
7. Crackerwagon can't see a damn thing. Musical armpit guys.
18. Caller Lisa sees kilted bagpipe band in high wind. Spuddy's Mom sees Mariners float. Rainier Beer horses.
9. Bottom of hour
10. Sports
11. Bob & Boeing float. Flynn from Carpet Cents (baloon?). Open/closed today. Lisa is a Thursday garbage girl. St. Patricks Day is a big garbage day for her. Paul sees ducks. Mike Murphy sees Cindi Rhinehart baloon. Nickles throwing out nickles, Rice throwing out rice. Sen. Pam Roach throwing out...?
12. Scan Quest. Ted Crackerwagon. James Brown in parade. John Curley and Jean Godden on float.
13. Gilda's Club train ride. 200 lights.
14. Top of hour. Pat flub: almost forgot Lan Archer's name.
15. Sports. Angela not just whistling Dixie.
16. Phil: automatic public toilet float. 400 horses and a kitten. Apple commission float behind horse float. Joey has one of the most popular dogs in the neighborhood.


Parade Disc 9
Thanksgiving 2001
Part 2

1. Scott Cardie: dead dot.coms float. Glen: Kirby Wilber carrying perloined Pat Cashman tapes. Man dressed as turtle gassed by police.
2. Top of Hour. Lan Archer is the man of steel.
3. Sports. Angela whistles Dixie. 13 Coins.
4. Moment of silence. Scott Cardie: the "What Did Your Doctor Say About Your Diarrhea" float. Arthur doesn't see Harry Potter float, sees Norm Dicks passing out his namesake. John: PortaPotty float. Ikea float arrived unassembled. Turkey Talk, with Felica Cruton. Sound of Music sing-along.
5. Bill: Britney Spears float, "You can see the headlights and rear end." Followed by Bob Dole. Mike Murphy: International Jewler's float, people crossing in front. Ross Colchek turns 11. Hooters girls. Other ways to use the Thanksgiving turkey. Macy's Parade is delayed
6. Top of hour
7. Traffic.
8. KOMO Morning Theater: A Watched Pot. Steve Wilson is news director. If you listen closely, you can hear the swearing. News anchors are drunk, nude. 700 horses and a goat. Homeland security float. Carl in Bellingham: Whatcom County mime group, involunetary vasectomy league. Paul Harvey and Dr. Laura.
9. James Brown again. Deja Vu float, just off the alley, sound. Jan in Port Orchard: laugh, tribute to Lisa Foster, loose cattle.
10. "Hurry in!" Waterways Cruise. Big Al, phonographs in the parade. Dell in Dakota Creek (off exit 270, I-5), Lisa Foster fan club. Miki: dead anchor persons. Toni and the Puyallup float. Marion.
11. Bose. Pat doesn't want hug from Steve. Eggo Joe recipe. Mike Murphy: hog wild.
12. Traffic, Lisa not on 24 hours.
13. "Twist all night." "That's The Way I Like It" parody. Eladan in Redmond: toilet bowl float backs up. Tim Eyeman stuck in traffic. More on politicians throwing out namesakes.


Parade Disc 10
Thanksgiving 2001
Part 3

1. Fisher float 20% shorter, being chased by Clear Channel shark baloon. James Brown again. Horses again, leaving "souveners" for the kids. Emily: deer camp float. "Second Week of Deer Camp." Clair from Rainier Valley: Ex-Lax samples.
2. Traffic. Four tow trucks. Honolulu, fish float.
3. Fannie-flappers. Ross Colchek, chin activated redial. Parade over. Stan Freeberg. Early Thanksgiving. Pat and Steve don't cook. Someone fed Tofurkey to a cat, who projectile vomited it out.
4. "Shaving Cream." Sick Thanksgiving joke. "How the Turkey Saved the Day."

July 4, 2002
Part 1

5. Sports. "Straining" traffic.
6. Other radio personalities are taking today off. Gary: "Losers!" Parade today, but there's a fight in the staging area. Neighbor's fireworks were incorporated into Pat's dream.
7. What's closed today (with sound effect). Security. Staging area fight continues over ad.
8. Where we like to say... Grand Old Flag. Don't stop on I-5 to look at fireworks.
9. News: Gary plays wrong tape.
10. Sports
11. Is this the first Pat Cashman Show parade on the Fourth? KOMO's firework show. Parade start? Musical armpit guys.
12. Slade Gorton Elementary School. Rosie Grenadine float. Paper mache Tim Eyman.
13. Parade report: Lisa standing on Corvette, handing out her phone number to everyone. Worldcom float. Nickels throwing Nickels, etc. Q13, Tony Ventrella.
14. Sports


Parade Disc 11
July 4, 2002
Part 2

1. Julia Roberts married. George Washington meets Martha: reenactment. Tom from Berkeley call (He Monkey). Osama float. Jan: Kent float. Sound Transit float. Last year for firework tech for Lake Union fireworks.
2. Beer Barrel float. Springer and MacCaw float. Viagra float, lots of men named "Dick." Bellevue high-rise float is half completed. Schram float. Dustin who? Can you view the fireworks from the Needle or ferry? Bend pet parade, little girl does cartwheels, no underwear.
3. Coast Guard safety zone.
4. Sports.
5. Fireworks, asbestos-clad actors, amateur hose man. Altering the Piccolo Pete firework to make it louder. Pilot Butte and cinder cones. Rain on Ivar's 4th one year, it went on anyway. James Brown float.
6. Kids show hosts. Dead .coms. Patti Murray stands up. What did the doctor say about your diarrhea?
7. Stout Hearted Men. Stanwood ludefisk float, the dogs eat the ludefisk.
8. Sports
9. "Where we like to say..." Rosie Grenadine "Lullaby of Broadway." Apple Commission and horse floats. Cindy Rinehart float. Spirit of Washington float. Sedation Dentistry float. Reah Sisters. Tootsie: Roscoe's float.
10. Roscos Grand Re-Opening. Sound Transit float. Gil Kurlokowski rerun. Danny from Tacoma, elephant. Recreating birth of Hanza.
11. Report from Renton. Tim Eyman float. Ernie Penot intro.
12. Ernie Penot: Frontier Room. Leavenworth.


Parade Disc 12
July 4, 2002
Part 3

1. Janice in Tacoma: Deadheads floating.
2. Sports
3. "Thank you for standing up, Senator Murray." Clem in studio. Frisco Morris. Lighten-Up float, Gutter Helmet. O'Neil Plumbing sink float. Nickels throwing nickels, etc. Another Eyman float. Clem: "Boot in his brass." Strange caller
4. Cell phone float.
5. Letterman: Signs you're not the most eligible bachelor.
6. Seattle Exotic Meats float. Greg wants Pam to throw him a Roach. Wolfman and Ken Schram. Springer and Makkah floats.
7. Parade song never gets sickening and tedious ("Says you!") E-mail from Jay in P.A. Auntie M from Ollala. Paper mache swans from Oregon, nosing into Browns Point. Viagra float, with "Richard"s. One Reel rep Paul (not Dick) Severen, Washington Mutual Family Fourth.
8. Lone Ranger episode. News: road rage and Spleensqueegee. 1940s road rage.
9. Coming up...
10. Fourth of JulIvar's rep, mentions Smooth Jazz stage. Fireworks in the water and dead fish? "Don't go there." Justine can't see parade. Miki from the Denny Regrade: Mary Kay Laternau float.
11. Top 10 list? Top 9? No, Top 1 Thing Clem Will Do Differently Today. History of Declaration of Independence. The King is so dumb... Fireworks play over Victoria Clipper ad.
12. Fireworks continue.





J. P. Patches on KOMO Radio with Pat Cashman
1999 - 2002

1. December 14, 2000. J. P. Patches with Stan Boreson. Mason Coatings. Show in Everett. Ragnar the Flat Nosed Reindeer with Paul Tosch. Nostalgia comes around. J. P. Patches coffee blend. Stan Boreson plugs. Walking In My Winter Underwear. Metal ruler challenge. Stan's accordion. Stan's travel agency. J. P. makes Pat and Lisa Patches Pals. Stan Boreson theme.

August 4, 2001; Seafair Sunday
2. J. P. Patches at the KOMO Radio booth, not TV. Mentions Pemco
3. J. P. Patches and Bill Nye have to save the show. J. P. offers Gerturde to strip on the Morning Show for higher ratings.

December 7, 2001
4. "We're back?" Scan Quest: Pat's colon will not be on the Internet. Pat has squeaky chair, J. P. Patches says so. Fred Hopkins arrives late, cutting into J. P. and Gertrude's time. Fred is used to "crossing over."
5. More Fred. J. P.'s Peter Lorre impression. Constipated sausage balls. Two Chrises in studio. J. P.'s FDR impression. Gertrude's Boris Karloff impression. Northwest TV Reunion at Museum of History and Industry. What is the relationship between J. P. and Gertrude? Strictly plutonic. Eric in Bellevue, recalls last year's show. Names of people at this year's show. What happened to Gertrude's voice? No local kids shows any more. Boris S. Wort's only personal appearance. They did not keep tapes of the show. Bronco call, bought J. P. Patches a raspberry liquor.
6. Ad break, so we can talk freely.
7. Rename MOHAI to MOHAIR. Appearance will be Seattle's Oceans 10. Kevin call. Complaints by mothers of Kevin forced them to change the name of the turkey from Kevin to Tikey. Steve was on show in 1967. I.C.U.2.T.V.
8. Another Steve, Everett show. Clem Phlergm asks about Ketchican the Animal Man. Clem hates the drum. Mitch in Woodenville, bought a J. P. jacket. Greg in Bellevue, was Cub Scout on show, snuck into Queen Anne studio. Carpenter Thacker shagged out kids, heard more of show than he should of. "Little Dickie," hope his wife doesn't call him that. Origins of J. P. Patches name. Debbie in Lynnwood was afraid of Gertrude. Seattle Times 100 Individuals Who Shaped Seattle, J.ĘP. and Gertrude were on list. Show didn't speak down to kids. Paul looked behind couch. J. P.'s coat was stolen. Johnny 99, from Public Access, did yucky face on show, and on radio.
9. Ggoorrsstt the Friendly Frpl event at the zoo. Terry, saw them with Armor Star elephant, sent money for a t-shirt but never got it. Steve, put on J. P. costume for birthday. Tim, contest to count the diamonds on J. P. shoes. A lot of names that J. P. has to mention.

10. November 6, 1999; Bob Newman stumbles into the Husky Tailgate Show at Nickerson Street Saloon.

J. P. Patches e-mails:
11. July 4, 2001; Joke: Dishwasher repairman and rotwiller.
12. July 18, 2001; Real-life stories
13. February 1, 2002; Suggestions for what to name new Wal-Mart wine.
14. April 30, 2002; Rejected Hallmark cards.
15. July 3, 2002; Quick jokes.




Stan Boreson on KOMO Radio with Pat Cashman
1999 - 2001

December 16, 1999
1. FM Radio has harmful magnetic waves. Stan Boreson theme. Origins: how did he get on TV? Accordion music for traffic. Why he plays the accordion.
2. Hidden Holiday Package. Jackie from Juana, related to Stan? Stan's son Bif.
3. Stan and Paul Tosch sing "Ragnar the Flat Nosed Reindeer."
4. "A Beth in the family." "Yust Go Nuts at Christmas." Origins of Stan's theme, got it from Ruth Prinz's accompanist. Ruth Prinz update. Theme came from Italian song. Beth won dance contest. "Nice to hear..." "...That I'm still alive?" "Christmas in Seattle."
5. Randy at Sea-Tac. Auntie M, likes "Christmas Goose." Stan plugs his son's piano business. What kind of accordion does Stan play? Lynn in Magnolia. "Winter Underwear."
6. Traffic: tough road to haul. Latka over Todd Johnson. Stan Boreson recap. Portland kid show hosts. J. D. call, Stan at Seattle Worlds Fair. Mylt Buckner box set. GTE, not GTO.

7. December 14, 2000. J. P. Patches with Stan Boreson. Mason Coatings. Show in Everett. Ragnar the Flat Nosed Reindeer with Paul Tosch. Nostalgia comes around. J. P. Patches coffee blend. Stan Boreson plugs. Walking In My Winter Underwear. Metal ruler challenge. Stan's accordion. Stan's travel agency. J. P. makes Pat and Lisa Patches Pals. Stan Boreson theme.

July 5, 2001
8. All-Star Game trivia question. Jennifer, Lease-a-Lisa winner, excited to see Stan Boreson.
9. Backstreet Boys: new song by Stan Boreson? New Ichro song. Stan played Japanese cook. Stan performs song. Circ du Sole.
10. Stan's tour business.




Pat Cashman Ad Parodies
Part 1

1. Water Cops (Summer 1992)
2. Pat Buttram is Bill Clinton (Spring 1992)
3. Watergate, the Musical!

4. Roscoe's Oriental Rugs, Closing Forever!
5. Roscoe's Big, Huge, Grand, Re-Opening Sale!
6. Alonzo's East Asian Floor Coverings.

7. Asteroid X Cell Phone
8. Asteroid X Cell Phone: Clarity
9. [?] Will Change Your Life

10. Barney's Bra Warehouse
11. Barney's Bra Holiday Sale
12. Barney's Bra Father's Day Sale

13. Brad Beagleman: Four New Renton Dealerships
14. Brad Beagleman: Celebrity Cars
15. Brad Beagleman Invitational Golf Tournament
16. Brad Beagleman Jingle Package
17. Brad Beagleman Super Success Seminar 1996
18. Brad Beagleman Seminar [full ending]

19. Brad Beagleman Sings!
20. Brad Beagleman: Business Smells!
21. Brad Beagleman's Valentine's Day Special.
22. Brad Beagleman: Buzzard Analogy
23. Brad Beagleman and Sunny Kobe Cook.

24. Bedwetting: Totally Confidential
25. Blankenhurn's Speaking Dynamics School
26. Brain Gash Chevrolet. (Note that is was aired right after it's inspiration: Sunset Chevrolet.)
27. Brain Gash Chevrolet Holiday Sale

28. Cigarette Booster Association of America: Bad Things That Ain't In Cigarettes
29. Cigarette Booster Association of America: Good Additives
30. Cigarette Booster Association of America: Don't Knock It Till You Try It

31. Calvin Kline: Airhead
32. Calvin Kline: Babbling Idiot
33. Calvin Kline: Pathetic Looser
34. Calvin Kline: Skank

35. Darrell's Cheap Car
36. Patty Cashman Gold Bond Ad #1
37. Patty Cashman Gold Bond Ad #2
38. Gorlic Vacuum
39. Green Things Nursery #1
40. Green Things Nursery #2
41. Green Things Nursery #3

42. Marvin Guttenslpeen Stop Smoking Seminar
43. Heavy Metal Christmas
44. Hooked On Reading (With Katie Cashman)
45. How Much Would You Pay...?
46. Wanna Buy a...?
47. Hemorrhoids, They're No Fun
48. Involuntary Urination (with extra sound effects)

49. Ken Jeffer Energy Conservation Tip: Watch Only KING-TV
50. Ken Jeffer Energy Conservation Tip: Use Low Setting On Hair Dryer
51. Ken Jeffer Energy Conservation Tip: Fly By Helicopter
52. Ken Jeffer Energy Conservation Tip: Make Son Mow Lawn With Push Mower
53. Ken Jeffer Energy Conservation Tip: Mercer Island Has No Bowling Alley
54. Ken Jeffer Energy Conservation Tip: Dog Ate Report

55. Kumon Math and Reading Programs (Real ad, the inspiration for...)
56. Klambo Learning Centers

57. "We will rejoin our commercials, after this brief program segment..."


Pat Cashman Ad Parodies
Part 2

1. Jack Roberts Appliance and Medical Care.
2. Lard
3. Lisa Foster Collection of Holiday Traffic Songs
4. Medicated Ovaltine
5. Here's What You May Have Missed On Today's Show...
6. Candophilagian's World of Montalabo Pameron
7. My Doctor...
8. Neosploreala Inner-Auditory Bi-Finelacatory Degradation Disease
9. Nostrildomous Nose Hair Trimmer

10. Poprica #1
11. Poprica #2, Stupid Questions
12. Poprica #3, Side Effects

13. Prograpler Sedation Surgery

14. Vitamins.com (Real ad, not Pat; it's the inspiration for...)
15. Pudding.com
16. Glass Eyeballs.com
17. Guns.com
18. Those Rubber Things You Put On Your Finger To Make Turning Pages Easier.com

19. Starvogynics (by Chris Cashman)
20. Stop Doing That (from Almost Live!)
21. Tom Shane: Cop
22. Tornado Diet.
23. Underactive Bladder
24. Underpants Crafters

25. Once-A-Day Vulcan-Class Low-Sodium Chlorospar Fluoroflavin Philogestin Galbophase 2000 #1
26. Once-A-Day Vulcan-Class Low-Sodium Chlorospar Fluoroflavin Philogestin Galbophase 2000 #2: What Is It?
27. Once-A-Day Vulcan-Class Low-Sodium Chlorospar Fluoroflavin Philogestin Galbophase 2000 #3: 911 Operator
28. Once-A-Day Vulcan-Class Low-Sodium Chlorospar Fluoroflavin Philogestin Galbophase 2000 #4: The Little Problem
29. Once-A-Day Vulcan-Class Low-Sodium Chlorospar Fluoroflavin Philogestin Galbophase 2000 #5: Now In Pill Form
30. Once-A-Day Vulcan-Class Low-Sodium Chlorospar Fluoroflavin Philogestin Galbophase 2000 #6

31. William W. Willoughby's Western Washington Welders, Weed-Whackers, Wheelbarrows, Windshield Wipers, White Wine, Wallpaper, Washers, Wrist Watches, White Wall Wheels, Wax and Wastebasket Warehouse
32. Willoughby Clinic For Aesthetic Surgery
33. Wink Baker's Investment Seminar

Radio Station Promos
34. Buzz Blues
35. Buzz Weather
36. Dr. Laura Promo
37. Pat With Tom Lykis
38. Pat in Stereo
39. Opinionated Pat
40. Million Dollar Morning #1
41. Million Dollar Morning #2
42. Santa Cashman
43. Milk Carton Derby
44. Survivor Contest
45. Pat's Prizes (Pat impersonated)
46. Body Exploding
47. Invisible Men
48. Igor (Adapted from October 13, 2000, 7:06 am)
49. Sex Toilet
50. Dear Abbey
51. Caller Chris, defecting from another station. (Submitted by Anonymous; adapted from a call on March 1, 2000)
52. Kids at Restaurants, Jason
53. Pat's Son
54. What I Reach For In the Morning
55. Side Effects May Include...
56. Feeling Nauseous?
57. Punchlines To Jokes
58. What Is It About?
59. Radio's Boldest Program
60. People Are Talking
61. Books
62. Why Do You Listen?
63. Dead Air.
64. Morning Radio That Isn't Crude
65. I Wish...
66. New Listener?
67. Bowling Show
68. Monday's Show
69. Show Too Big
70. Scream

KOMO Station I.D.s
71. Don't Touch the Dial
72. Exciting Radio
73. He-Man Body
74. Hot Dog
75. Most Thrilling Radio
76. Not Your Father's Radio
77. It's Big, Really Big
78. Having Trouble Getting Out of Bed?
79. Looking For Morning Radio That Isn't Embarrassing?
80. Husky's Food Bowl
81. Similar to Football
82. Exciting Radio
83. Rose Bowl
84. Begging You To Listen
85. Never Repetitive
86. Recently Expanded
87. The Greatest Morning Show In the History of Broadcasting
88. Simon Says
89. Sound Effects
90. Twins
91. Woman Testimonial
92. Legal I.D.
93. Basketball
94. KOMO Traffic Bed (Submitted by Anonymous)


Pat Cashman Real Advertisements

1992 - 1996
1. Sea Galley: Get To Mexico Free
2. Pay 'N' Pak: Fast Talker
3. Tony Roma's
4. King County Select: Woodland Park Zoo
5. King County Select: Baby Diaper Service
6. Chaplan's Bellevue Mazda, Subaru, Volkswagen, Suzuki: Outback Pat
7. Statewide Vinyl Siding: No More Seams
8. Bon Marche: Three More Shopping Days 'Til Christmas

1999 - 2002
9. Wilcox Farms Egg Nog
10. 13 Coins
11. 13 Coins Summer Menu
12. Alpine Cleaners
13. Cafe Appacianto: Slow
14. AT&T @ Home: Husky Football
15. AT&T @ Home: Christmas
16. Bogart Golf
17. Buccano's Resturante: Pre-Tailgate
18. Buccano's Resturante
19. Buckwheat Pillow #1
20. Buckwheat Pillow #2
21. Car Pros
22. Certainteed Windows #1
23. Certainteed Windows #2
24. Certainteed Windows #3
25. Clearwater Spa
26. End of the Roll #1
27. End of the Roll: Crusty
28. End of the Roll: Yell
29. Fox Communications
30. Grown In Washington Chicken: Giant Floor Graphics
31. Grown In Washington Chicken: Business News
32. Grown In Washington Chicken: Secret Shopper
33. Grown In Washington Chicken: Subliminal Ads
34. Grown In Washington Chicken: Too Pooped To Cook
35. Grown In Washington Chicken: Traffic
36. Gutter Guard
37. Homeguard
38. Washington State Lottery: Jack Potter #1
39. Washington State Lottery: Jack Potter #2
40. Lay-z-Boy
41. Loan Tech (Lisa Foster)
42. Mason Coatings: Chelan Ferry
43. Mason Coatings: Arnie
44. Mason Coatings: What's On the Inside
45. Mason Coatings: Pantages Theater.
46. Millstone Coffee
47. Olympic Embroidery
48. Pacific Northwest Bank: Name Expert
49. Pacific Northwest Bank: Comment Card
50. Visit Historic Downtown Poulsbo
51. Quizznos
52. Red Hook: Cooler
53. Red Hook: Definition of Beer.
54. Red Hook: Football Player
55. Red Hook: Pep Talk
56. Red Hook: Well Built
57. Red Hook Congratulates the Huskies
58. Scarbos: Schnauzer
59. Scarbos #2
60. Scarbos #3
61. Sleepers In Seattle #1
62. Sleepers In Seattle #2
63. Sleepers In Seattle: 10 Steps
64. Sleepers In Seattle: Chiropractor
65. Sleepers In Seattle: Duct Tape
66. Sleepers In Seattle: Pudding
67. Sleepers In Seattle, with Lisa Foster
68. Sprint PCS: What Pat Forgets In the Morning
69. Sprint PCS: What PCS Stands For
70. Toyota of Seattle
71. YMCA
72. Life Jacket

73. Pat's demo clip for Bad Animals


Missing: Puyallup Home and Garden Show, January 6, 2000




Trish Tester Collection

1. October 9, 1999. Trisha wins the "Win free junk" contest at the Aurora Cinema Grill.
2. October 9, 1999. Trisha sings "I Don' Wanna Do Dat" at the Cinema Grill
3. February 23, 2000. Trish on street for Pat's six month anniversary on KOMO
4. Trish still on street. "There was nothing else to listen to."
5. July 29, 2000. Trish waiting for Seafair Torchlight Parade. Suquamish is not an island.
6. August 15, 2000. Rat story
7. August 23, 2000. Patpack soundoff for Pat's one year anniversary
8. August 23, 2000. Who's still out on the street?
9. September 16, 2000. Gary polls the crowd for football predictions at the 13 Coins.
10. November 30, 2000. Trish brought food into the studio.
11. December 14, 2000. In studio, talk about kid show hosts.
12. March 23, 2001. Miss Dudley calls to say Trish is in the hospital, will miss the Oscar party.
13. July 6, 2001. In studio for birthday in two days. Happy to be here another year. "Health issues."
14. September 12, 2001. E-mail, reaction to September 11, "When it is my day to die, I want my loved ones to laugh."
15. September 17, 2001. E-mail, comparing terror to cancer.
16. November 16, 2001. Trish at Kenmore Lanes.
17. January 24, 2002. Is it okay to eat things at the grocery before paying?
18. July 15, 2002. Birthday mention.
19. September 6, 2002. Trish on street for final day.
20. Evening Magazine introduction
21. Trish on Evening Magazine for Making Memories Foundation. May 11, 2001




Ray in Fircrest:

1. November 15, 2001. Richard Burton in "Camelot"
2. December 13, 2001. "Fred" Rogers impression. Early applause.
3. March 1, 2002. Ray from Fircrest Sings!
4. March 5, 2002. Coming up: Ray in Fircrest
5. March 5, 2002. Henry Kissinger singing Mr. Ed theme song
6. May 7, 2002. Ray does Boomhaure, sings both parts of "Oh, I Remember It Well."
7. May 9, 2002. Ray coming up
8. May 9, 2002. "No, you're Ray." Gary is the lowlife. Impressions: James Cagney, Pinto Colvig
9. May 13, 2002. Popeye.
10. May 21, 2002. Ray from Fircrest asks Lisa for a date. He wrote a script for an impression: the entire British House of Commons
11. May 22, 2002. Harvey Firestine impression
12. June 14, 2002. Scene from Pinoccio
13. September 6, 2002. Charles Osgood, for Pat's Final Day

Christopher Walken, Jessie Ventura and Louie Anderson Part 1

14. February 21, 2000. "Chris Nearsight" and Christopher Walken
15. February 21, 2000. Sound Ford Announcer, with Christopher Walken
16. September 9, 2000. Christopher Walken and Tom Shane.
17. September 30, 2000. Christopher Walken and Tom Shane
18. October 7, 2000. Christopher Walken
19. October 21, 2000. Tom Shane and Christopher Walken.
20. December 29, 2000. Christopher Walken at the Beverly Hills Hilton.
21. September 8, 2001. Christopher Walken
22. September 29, 2001. Christopher Walken at the Emerald Queen Casino
23. September 29, 2001. Jessie Ventura, yells at waitress.
24. September 29, 2001. Jessie Ventura has Charlie in a choke hold.
25. September 29, 2001. Jessie Ventura apology.
26. October 13, 2001. Christopher Walken in Auburn.
27. October 13, 2001. Christopher Walken won't pay his bill. Surf Dude as Sean Connery helps out.
28. October 20, 2001. Jessie Ventura likes explosions.
29. October 27, 2001. Jessie Ventura, wants to run for ruler of time and space.
30. November 10, 2001. Jessie Ventura at Krispy Kreme.
31. November 10, 2001. Louie Anderson
32. November 10, 2001. Christopher Walken
33. November 17, 2001. Jessie Ventura.
34. November 24, 2001. Christopher Walken.
35. November 24, 2001. Jessie Ventura, sad for final regular season game.
36. November 16, 2001. Jessie Ventura at Kenmore Lanes.
37. December 7, 2001. Jessie Ventura, on baseball contraction.
38. December 14, 2001. Jessie Ventura, Christopher Walken, Tom Shane and Louie Anderson for Bill Swartz's final day.


Christopher Walken, Jessie Ventura and Louie Anderson Part 2

1. February 1, 2002. Jessie Ventura: The Musical!
2. May 13, 2002. Louie Anderson "interview," didn't know he was fired from Family Feud.
3. June 18, 2002. Jessie Ventura interview, will not run for reelection.
4. July 10, 2002. Jessie Ventura interview, in the hospital.
5. July 12, 2002. Richard Karnes in studio. He's to replace Louie Anderson on Family Feud, so a "Louie Anderson" calls up to offer tips.
6. July 17, 2002. Jessie Ventura call for Mike Murphy's last day. Another blood clot.

The Pig

7. September 6, 2001. Pre Pig joke: "What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild?" (See how many times Pat repeats this joke.)
8. February 11, 2002. Pig tease
9. February 11, 2002. Pig call (First appearance in my collection).
10. March 5, 2002. The Pig! Pat hopes The Pig will change, so Lisa thinks Pat is thinking like a woman.
11. March 27, 2002.
12. April 11, 2002. The Pig: "My girlfriend is so stupid..."
13. April 23, 2002. The Pig! The perfect breakfast.
14. April 23, 2002. Lisa doesn't know why she likes The Pig.
15. May 2, 2002.
16. May 21, 2002. The Pig: blonde jokes. Gary keeps laughing over traffic.
17. June 5, 2002. The Pig! Guy's rules.
18. June 5, 2002. Pig reprise after ads.
19. June 25, 2002. The Pig! Recycled jokes. (Lisa doesn't seem to remember the punchlines.)
20. July 12, 2002. The Pig uses Arthur's jokes
21. July 29, 2002. The Pig! Dumb girlfriend jokes.
22. July 18, 2002. The Pig, reasons he's glad he's a man.
23. July 31, 2002. The Pig discussion, gender reversal jokes.
24. September 4, 2002. The Pig! No pictures of Lisa's face on the web. Ugly jokes.




If anyone is so inclined to ask for all the Miki or Bronco calls, here's where I would find them:

Miki from the Denny Regrade

December 22, 1995, Track 15; Miki: Pat's parents named their dog Tappy (their names spelled backwards). What do you get when you spell Lisa's name backwards? Toilet seat up.
November 24, 1999 Disc 1, Track 10, Miki cries
December 3, 1999, Tape 2, Side 2; Miki call, on WTO, ion brush. She notices delay not turned on.
December 20, 1999; Tape 1, Side 1; Has bone to pick with Pat
February 28, 2000, side 2
July 4, 2000, Disc 1, Track 10; Vandal and felon float.
July 4, 2000, Disc 2, Track 3; ACLU and criminals
July 13, 2000, Side 1; discovered as the weather lady. Would be more famous, except she never leaves the house. Tells story of Christopher Reeve chasing down bicycle thief.
July 21, 2000, Side 2
August 21, 2000, Side 2, Miki and Rite Aid Shampoo
August 23, 2000 Disc 1, Track 11; Francis fax, reaction to Miki's dandruff shampoo: just use aspirin. She calls in.
September 20, 2000, Disc 1, Track 6; Very short weather report
October 13, 2000, Side 2; Belltown is more trendy than Regrade. Saw gulls.
October 19, 2000. Side 1; Old KOMO
November 13, 2000, Side 2; Food Poisoning
November 16, 2000, Side 1; Slugs
Thanksgiving 2000, Disc 2, Track 4
December 29, 2000, Disc 1, Track 12; Miki and Montgomery Ward

March 6, 2001, 7:30 - 9:00, Side 2
May 7, 2001. Miki: "Wha'cha up to?" Mexican trip is not real work.
June 8, 2001, Disc 2, Track 4
June 13, 2001, Tape 1, Side 1; Miki: view blocked by KOMO Plaza
July 5, 2001, Disc 2, Track 1; Miki talks with guest (Lease-a-Lisa Jennifer Ishim), house plants
July 24, 2001, Track 9; Miki call, mysterious lemo at 7-11. Miki on television?
August 16, 2001, Disc 2, Track 1; Miki: D. C. trip, warns Pat that it's too hot.
August 27, 2001, Disc 2, Track 11; Miki on Pat taking camera topic: can't read at House of Representatives.
August 29, 2001, Disc 2, Track 12
September 7, 2001, Disc 1, Track 2; Why can't Pat start at five? Gary Hoffman gets defensive for his time slot. Callers do all of Pat's work for him. Least favorite commercial: "Dr Laura, we don't adore ya." Miki quits smoking. Program changes, made out of desperation.

September 14, 2001, Disc 3, Track 1; Movies
September 17, 2001, Disc 2, Track 15; Snow Globes
September 18, 2001, Disc 1, Track 11; unappreciative cats.
October 26, 2001, VHS tape, 9:04; Miki theme played, but no Miki
9:12 Miki calls in after all, talks about Fisher Plaza & Steamed-up window.
October 30, 2001, Disc 2, Track 10; Seagulls and cats.
November 14, 2001, Part 1, Track 14; Miki can't speak
November 16, 2001, Part 2, Track 1; Miki sees a Fisher going away party.
November 22, 2001, Part 3, Track 2; Miki: dead anchor persons.
November 28, 2001, 5:30 - 7:30, Track 5: "It's snowin'!" Body at Fisher Plaza
December 6, 2001, VHS tape, 7:55: 12 Days of Christmas
December 14, 2001, Disc 1, Track 10
December 20, 2001, VHS Tape, 9:43; Miki call, wants to know time of sunrise.
December 21, 2001, Disc 2, Track 1; Pat's visit to Miki's apartment
December 28, 2001, Disc 1, Track 17; Shoe comic.
December 31, 2001, Disc 2, Track 17; New Year's yak bell.

January 22, 2002, Part 2, Track 15; A woman's age.
February 1, 2002, Part 2, Track 2
February 11, 2002, 8:30 - 10, Side 1; Pat goes on too many vacations.
March 5, 2002, 8:30 - 10:00, Side 2; Miki response to listener call on Marten Luther King Day.
April 16, 2002, 8:35 - 10:00, Side 1; Miki on U-District
May 20, 2002. 8:32 - 10:00, Side 2
May 22, 2002, 5:38 - 6:45, Track 11; Airline safety. Miki from Denny Regrade is always the suspicious person.

July 3, 2002, 7:04 - 9:16, Track 10; Miki from Denny Regrade: why do dogs bury bones?
July 4, 2002, 8:28 - 10:00, Track 10; Miki from the Denny Regrade: Mary Kay Laternau float
July 11, 2002, 8:08 - 10:00, Track 8. Negligent parents topic, Miki calls.
July 29, 2002, 8:10 - 10:00, Track 1; Miki call, her father was a strong union man.
July 31, 2002, 8:10 - 10:00, Track 4; Miki: "What are rickets?" Sleep on floor? Miki to watch for Pat at Fisher Plaza, "Watch for us during the parade too."
August 1, 2002, 8:50 - 10:00, Track 2; Miki's Birthday
August 5, 2002, 7:00 - 9:00, Track 8; Miki call, whining.
August 27, 2002, 7:20 - 9:20, Track 6; Miki, reaction to Francis Weaver interview.
August 28, 2002, 6:54 - 8:35, Track 17; Miki call, sees Millionaire line at Fisher Plaza.
Track 18; Caller reacts to Miki
September 6, 2002, 6:15 - 8:00, Track 1; Clem replays Miki's dead body at Fisher Plaza story, Uranus Cars. Ryan call, JFK burglar. Miki can't think of anything to say. Cardboard cutout is new KOMO-TV anchor. Miki sings. (Included on final week CDs)


Bronco calls:

June 13, 2001, Tape 1, Side 2; thought Bill was in today. Train noise regulations.
June 19, 2001, Tape 1, Side 2; Bronco buys a Spanish instruction book
June 22, 2001, Disc 1, Track 10, 2:49; Bronco in Mexico. Big guy, small hat.
June 26, 2001, Disc 1, Track 10, 14:36; Distracted cell phone users driving on the ferry.
July 6, 2001, Disc 1, Track 10, 17:20; Crowd thought he was a famous hockey player.
July 10, 2001, Disc 1, Track 7, 2:04; Ran with the bulls.
December 7, 2001, 8:35 - 10:00, Track 5, 11:54; bought J. P. Patches a raspberry liquor.
January 17, 2002, Part 2, Track 4; Bronco call, gave CPR to his pet.
May 16, 2002, Part 1, Track 10, 3:55; Star Wars review.
August 28, 2002, 6:54 - 8:35, Track 11, 2:06; Bronco in line for Who Wants To Be a Millionaire
September 5, 2002, 6:50 - 8:45, Track 4, 0:00; Bronco call, tried out for Who Wants To Be a Millionaire, mentions Patpack.org. (included in final week CDs)
August 21, 2003, Side 1; Bronco requests Leonard Nemoy




Pat Cashman Stories
Disc 1

1. Pat introduces a man with a mispronounced name. "I have tons of stores like that." October 30, 1999

2. Snausages! The stories get more embellished the more they are repeated. February 2000, "Talk to Tara."
3. Lisa's dogs. Snausages! November 19, 2001

4. Edith Head at the Santa pet photographer. Patty went alone December 5, 1994
5. Edith Head at the Santa pet photographer. Pat apparently went with Patty. November 24, 2000
6. (Above segment continued.)

7. Pat can't fly with the Blue Angels. Throwing up in the car. August 9, 1996
8. Flying with the Blue Angels. "Hook" maneuver. August 5, 2000
9. Pat added sound effects to a race broadcast. August 5, 2000
10. Pat wishes he could live near railroad tracks. August 5, 2000
11. Flying with the Blue Angels. August 5, 2001
12. Flying with the Blue Angels. August 5, 2001
13. Flying with the Blue Angels. August 4, 2002

14. Pat wanted to be a saint. January 18, 2000
15. Being a saint. May 2, 2001

16. Katie going to Mexico. Mexican cow skull story.
17. Katie went to Mexico to get the rest of the cow.
18. This show is nothing but a commercial! Story continued. June 12, 2000

19. Irish butcher. August 15, 2000
20. "A good eater." Pat can not eat fat. Brother does not like objects blocking his view. Pat's brother Dan brandishes a knife. August 21, 2000

21. Pig on plane. Pat's son craps on airplane. October 30, 2000
22. Halloween Eve. Pat's dad stole candy. Pat's son eats too much candy, throws up. Hiding candy. October 30, 2000
23. Gary going on cruise. Pat's son craps on airplane. July 5, 2001

24. Bend Water Pageant, Pat's dad pulls one of the floats. July 3, 2001
25. World Famous Bend Water Pageant. July 4, 2001
26. Pat with cousins on Fourth of July. Bend Water Pageant. July 4, 2001


Pat Cashman Stories
Disc 2

1. Pat's job at a camper factory. October 26, 1999
2. Logging mishap. Pat evades a rolling log by remembering a scene from a movie. July 9, 2002
3. Camper factory, column. Nail guns. July 22, 2002
4. Camper factory continued. July 22, 2002
5. Lumberjack Pat. July 22, 2002
6. Summer jobs: camper factory, choker setter. July 22, 2002

7. Pat tries to put his cats in the garage. Pat gets on wrong bus. October 23, 1999

8. Pat's spaghetti recipe is altered. November 1, 1999
9. Pat's Seattle Magazine article is altered. May 21, 2001
10. Continued

11. Frieda says "fart." December 13, 1999
12. Origins of "That's my opinion, I'm Bryan Johnson." December 17, 1999
13. Tom Jones underwear story. June 7, 2000
14. Pat's golf ball injury. June 27, 2000
15. Encounter with old man at Supermall. November 13, 2000
16. The condiment aisle. December 14, 2000
17. KOMO no longer streaming on the Internet. February 19, 2001
18. Pat's "toto thing." February 19, 2001
19. Pat's Faces For Life mask mislabeled. March 12, 2001
20. Pat helped substitute a cow chip for a hamburger. April 24, 2001
21. School rock band won't tell the principal their name until the last minute. May 2, 2001
22. Server on judging boat drinks on the job, Patty helps him out. May 18, 2001
23. Pat's brother put dead animal in the trunk, forgot about it. June 5, 2001
24. Pat sung the Volga Boat theme when his mother made him do chores. "That poor woman!!" (Pat's mom.) June 5, 2001
25. Pat's girlfriend sang along with "Without You." June 15, 2001
26. Katie's golf ball Father's Day gift. June 18, 2001
27. Pat missed out on seeing Sports Illustrated swimsuit models in Mexico due to his "little problem." Super models are thin. Pat catches himself before he says something. June 21, 2001
28. Pat's diet and "pie" charts. June 25, 2001


Pat Cashman Stories
Disc 3

1. Neighbors used Pat's trampoline while he tried to hide in his house. July 29, 1997

2. Patty won't check out of Cabo hotel early. June 25, 2001
3. "I've negotiated a deal..."
4. Patty won't check out early, conclusion. "When you leave?"

5. Pat ran over Patty's cat on their first date. June 28, 2001
6. Pat asked to do a bit at someone's house, then walked out of bathroom with toilet paper on his shoe. June 28, 2001
7. Old man outside of supermarket parking lot. "Do you like fruit?" July 2, 2001
8. Pat's autographed baseball. July 6, 2001
9. Pat's trip to the ballpark. August 14, 2001

10. Pat caught trying to take pictures inside the U. S. Senate chambers.
11. Pat had to show camera footage to security guard. What if something embarrassing was on the tape?
12. Senate photography story conclusion. August 27, 2001
13. Can't break up six packs. August 27, 2001

14. Visit the dump. August 29, 2001
15. Pat's mom confronts Paul Duckworth about the lack of KOMO Web streaming. August 31, 2001
16. Pat dreams he's nude at school. September 5, 2001
17. Pat and Patty's compromise: dead animals vs. poop. September 6, 2001
18. Fisher brethren are responsible for Dr. Laura's reinstatement. September 7, 2001
19. Pat thought he could disguise himself by making faces. September 25, 2001

20. Pillow shams. "Big, fat, greasy head." Definition of "sham." September 24, 2001
21. More pillow shams. September 25, 2001
22. Still more pillow shams. Using the good china. Women spend too much time on their hair. Pat plays wrong music. September 25, 2001
23. Pillow sham revival. July 31, 2002


Pat Cashman Stories
Disc 4

1. Pat escapes early from parties. July 29, 1997
2. Pat tried to escape early from a party, was caught in a room with an amorous couple. October 29, 2001

3. Pat and Patty sing "When I'm Calling You" to each other in their house. September 19, 2001
4. Air sports. Pat wished he had never learned to crack his knuckles. October 1, 2001
5. Pat's Halloween parties. October 1, 2001
6. Pat practiced hitting the post when he was a kid. October 1, 2001
7. One of Pat's cats leaving "Almond Rocas" around the house. October 1, 2001
8. Pat saw Spanish-American war veterans when he was a kid, so how old is he? Recreating station playing national anthem and signing off. October 1, 2001

9. Pat and Patty plant miniature dummy around the house. October 29, 2001
10. Pat and Patty agree to stop planting the miniature dummy. November 8, 2001

11. Pat's dad stole his Halloween candy, Pat is still steamed about it. October 30, 2001

12. Pat late on the facts of life. October 31, 2001
13. More on Pat being late on learning the facts of life, the truth about Santa. E-mail from Trisha. October 31, 2001

14. Little brother Terry never got in trouble from his parents, has no baby photos. October 31, 2001
15. Pat leaves pumpkins out on porch until they rot. October 31, 2001
16. Pet costumes for Edith Head. Put underpants backwards on dog. Putting tape on cat's tail. Cat's tail straight up in the air all the time. Classified ad: found mattress. Pat lost a mattress off his car. October 31, 2001
17. Pat sleeps late for his small-town radio job. November 2, 2001
18. Katie's noisy cat. Caller's cat jumped out of the womb hissing. November 11, 2001
19. Whitening strips. Pat in his underwear at home, but the house isn't designed to allow him to dash discreetly to his bedroom. Pat's cell phone goes off. Why can't Pat go to work in his underwear. November 7, 2001
20. Buying clothes with product logos. Slogan "The Pat Cashman Station" failed from the start. Every single station Pat has been on has failed. November 8, 2001
21. Pat at Pet's Mart. Expressing anal glands. November 12, 2001
22. Why not apply peanut butter to dog's butts, as that's where they are licking anyway? November 13, 2001


Pat Cashman stories
Disc 5

1. Prom column. June 2, 2000
2. Dances, Pat was a complete nerd. April 30, 2002
3. Prom date. June 10, 2002

4. Pat wets his pants. November 13, 2001
5. Dawn in Burien calls. Wet pants. November 13, 2001
6. Pat wishes he had never mentioned wetting his pants. Pat's dad and the East Indian stretching program. November 14, 2001

7. Thanksgiving plans. Leaves in the gutter. Gutter Guard doesn't work. (This was a former sponsor, a product similar to a future sponsor's.) November 14, 2001
8. Pat had to beg to get Patty to appear on Almost Live. November 14, 2001
9. Pat only irons visible parts of clothes. November 15, 2001
10. All of Pat's car accidents happened in snow. November 28, 2001
11. Pat's dad shows him that wresting is fake. November 28, 2001
12. Why can't adults go in the ball pit? Army dolls. December 5, 2001
13. Pat doesn't tell woman about her unbuttoned blouse, knocks over jewelry case. December 5, 2001
14. Pat tried to get free stuff from the Buster Brown shoe store. December 5, 2001

15. Pat hasn't gone Christmas shopping. December 19, 2001
16. Pat STILL hasn't gone Christmas shopping. December 20, 2001

17. Newspaper column. Kill Pat? Pants going up. December 20, 2001
18. Pat's dad at church, sings his own words to hymns. December 28, 2001
19. Sam Donaldson's "hair." All Pat's brothers are bald. Man had his toupee ripped off playing rugby. December 31, 2001
20. Presents Point Average. December 31, 2001
21. Pat predicted Monday Night Football plays for his son. February 11, 2002

22. Lost jogging in Mexico, encounters crocodiles. February 21, 2002
23. Man retrieves golf balls from alligator lagoon. February 21, 2002
24. Lost jogging in Mexico, crocs. February 21, 2002

25. Pat's wedding cake was small. September 4, 2002


Pat Cashman Stories
Disc 6

1. Pat smokes on Almost Live. January 22, 2001
2. Diaper in the toilet is like the taco from hell. January 24, 2002
3. Pat's accents. February 6, 2002
4. Pat can't record TV programs any more. February 6, 2002
5. Pat's needy cat. February 22, 2002
6. Pat was asked to run for the Seattle City Council. March 1, 2002
7. Pat's cousin invented a remote control. March 4, 2002
8. Pat's kids throw away photos. March 5, 2002
9. Pat was the school's fastest runner, but he got beat by a girl. March 27, 2001
10. Pat has always wanted to be in a pie fight, but shouldn't have said so on the air. April 5, 2002
11. Is Pat going to have more children? April 10, 2002
12. Pat's friend Dean yells down the cinder cone. April 11, 2002
13. Pat tried to fix eyebrow. April 11, 2002

14. Escaped hamster column. April 16, 2002
15. Escaped hamster continued

16. Pat emulated superheros, wore younger brother's tight pajamas. April 23, 2002

17. Pat's involvement in Mariners ads. April 24, 2002
18. Funny nose glasses night. April 24, 2002

19. Slaps on the haircut! May 1, 2002
20. Hairstyles. May 1, 2002

21. Pat goes camping, crow village. May 2, 2002
22. Pat sees ghost on ship. May 6, 2002
23. Pat was born with a cone head. May 7, 2002
24. Pat's dad vs. Pat's coach. May 8, 2002

25. Mother's Day balloon ride. May 13, 2002
26. Balloon ride continued

27. Pat and brothers took baths together. May 13, 2002
28. "I shall not pay your tariffs!!" May 13, 2002
29. Pat skipped swimming class until he was caught. May 14, 2002
30. Pat's Irish ancestor. May 15, 2002
31. Pat's lady voice. May 15, 2002
32. Pat's fly open. May 21, 2002
33. One eyed Fred the dog. June 13, 2002


Pat Cashman Stories
Disc 7

1. Regrets? Pat wished he had gotten more out of college. Don't major in communications. Pat wished he had documented family stories. Pat's dad made him try out for basketball every year. May 23, 2002

2. D. W. Clark pooped on by bird, then Pat got pooped on for the first time. (Pat says "shat" outside the context of a Captain Kirk joke. In my dictionary, that word is a variation on a word one can't say on the radio.) May 23, 2002
3. Patty's car covered in bird poop at the "Inn by the edge of the water." June 6, 2002

4. Pat is the king of the nauseous, couldn't dump bean soup in toilet. June 10, 2002
5. Signs of summer: puking. June 12, 2002

6. Pat's dad cooks. June 14, 2002
7. Trying to change TV channels after Dad falls asleep. June 14, 2002
8. Another channel changing recreation. June 14, 2002
9. Pat's brother Mike calls, Pat had to wear a bow in his hair after loosing boxing match. June 14, 2002
10. Pat used study time to do stichk in college. June 17, 2002
11. Pat's son has to eat sausages before he can go do Disneyland. June 21, 2002
12. Fondue party, guest steps into pot. June 27, 2002

13. Pat's brother Sean escaped from crib, house. July 2, 2002
14. Bed games, Pat wanted his brothers to call him "Honey." July 2, 2002
15. Pat's brother wet the bed, Pat helped set up a timer to play audio to wake him up. July 2, 2002

16. World Famous Bend Water Pageant. Men help pull floats. July 3, 2002
17. Pat hires lowest bidder tree cutters, they knock down trees on neighbor's garden. July 3, 2002
18. Neighbor's fireworks incorporated into Pat's dream. July 4, 2002
19. Pet parade. Little girl does cartwheels without underwear. July 4, 2002
20. The Beatles. Radio D. J. prank. July 5, 2002
21. Katie tried to hide car dents with her elbows. July 8, 2002
22. Small down baseball diversions: Bend rabbit race. July 9, 2002
23. Pat sneaks out of work but was caught on video at ballpark. July 9, 2002
24. Contortionists open up your imagination to all kinds of possibilities. July 9, 2002


Pat Cashman Stories
Disc 8

1. Pat wants to see a bear in his neighborhood. Pat needs to get new appliances. November 29, 2001
2. Pat wants to see a bear in the wild. June 5, 2002
3. Pat saw a bear in Alaska. August 26, 2002

4. Pat's brother went in the washing machine to be "on TV." July 11, 2002
5. Patty used to wear pantyhose but it snags on her hair. Pat is reasonably sure she isn't listening right now. July 16, 2002
6. Katie's pet pomeranian. Pat puts his foot down. June 17, 2002
7. Sluggy memories. June 19, 2002
8. Pat's principal said he'd never amount to anything. July 19, 2002
9. Pat sleeps in plastic tent on the porch. July 22, 2002
10. Pat did a voice for a cartoon. July 23, 2002
11. Pat had to drive the golf cart back from the Torchlight Parade. July 23, 2002
12. Dog eating candles out of the trash. July 24, 2002
13. Pat was allowed to invite a few people to his party, but the whole class came. July 24, 2002

14. Bit with Katie's dog fails. Doing pratfalls. D. W. Clark leave a message phone bit. July 31, 2002
15. Where's the wash cloth? Sheet cake gag. July 31, 2002
16. Call from "Kathleen" about her dad taking off all his clothes. Pat takes all of his clothes off when Patty leaves the room. July 31, 2002

17. New dog poops in the kitchen. August 1, 2002

18. Pat forgot to put pot roast in freezer. Katie's legendary party at family house. Pat left in charge, tried to hide brother's dirt clod injury from their parents. August 5, 2002
19. Baby sitter for Pat's children said "God will provide" when running red lights. August 5, 2002

20. Pat couldn't get a vasectomy. August 26, 2002
21. Changing diapers: Pat got the big three. Girl babies have too many folds. August 26, 2002
22. Being thrown up on at Gordon Lightfoot concert. August 26, 2002

23. Pat's cat names. August 29, 2002
24. Cat noise. Cat tries to nurse on Patty. August 29, 2002

25. Pat and his mom. August 26, 2002




Pat Cashman Flubs
Disc 1

1. Cueing information accidentally broadcast on a pre-recorded show. July 5, 2002
2. A listener sends in a Fart Bomb and tells Pat and Lisa that it doesn't smell bad but it makes a really cool sound. They set it off in the studio. September 24, 1997
3. Pat calls Linda Lisa. October 26, 1999

4. Pat dubs the station he's on "KOMO News Talk 1090."
5. Pat tries to cover up his 1090 flub.
November 6, 1999

6. Pat tries to be intentionally funny and grandiose in an Amazing Siding spot, before the ad becomes unintentionally funny. January 18, 2000
7. Mole combat suggestions. Often Pat has said he has caught himself before he said something he's glad he didn't say. This may be one of those times he didn't catch himself. February 2, 2000

8. "Rollin' In My Sweet Baby's Arms," Pat blows both jokes.
9. Pat tries to explain one of the previous blown jokes. March 29, 2000

10. Pat nearly calls Bob Rondo Bob Robertson. November 4, 2000

11. It's a Wonderful Life live radio theater, Part 1. Mic left on during commercial.
12. It's a Wonderful Life live radio theater, half time.
13. It's a Wonderful Life live radio theater, Part 2; postmortem.
14. If you haven't seen the movie, this won't spoil things.
15. Phones lighting up, people asking for tapes of the production. Redo Gary's part to fix flub. December 21, 2000

16. Clem missing, and lots of unintentional dead air. April 20, 2001
17. "Every bun." July 3, 2001
18. Pat gives a time check of 9:33 on a prerecorded show. This was before the show went beyond 9:00. July 4, 2001
19. "Seamare, er, Seafair Memories." August 4, 2001
20. Patty Cashman Gold Bond tape eaten. Pat won't throw tape cart against the wall. August 27, 2001
21. Pat jumps the gun on the new nine o'clock hour. September 10, 2001
22. Pat steps over recorded announcer. September 18, 2001
23. Pat calls for traffic when he didn't need to. September 19, 2001
24. Pat cheers at the wrong "Washington" in the Ventures' "Be Strong America." September 21, 2001
25. 888 Root Beer Drive-In. September 28, 2001
26. Pat and Bill forgot about new nine o'clock hour. September 28, 2001

27. Pat misreads Quizno's phone number: "877-DLI-SUBS."
28. Pat acknowledges Quizno's mistake. October 31, 2001
29. Pat gives wrong time check. October 31, 2001

30. "World famous recliners that Lay-Z-Boy is famous for" redundant. November 2, 2001
31. Pat missed traffic break, won't provide traffic music for Lisa. D. W. Clark's important call. Quiznos ad. (For the previous segment where Pat's phone rings on the air, see Stories, disc 4, track 19) November 7, 2001
32. Pat's voice captured on the phone during bit. November 8, 2001

33. Pat introduces Laura Lee as former Seattle radio personality.
34. Pat recognizes Laura Lee mistake. November 8, 2001

35. Feed the Hungry: "It starts with getting a belly in your meal." November 20, 2001


Pat Cashman Flubs
Disc 2

1. Pat mistakenly tosses to ABC News. "And then they tore off my arm and threw it over there!" November 29, 2001
2. Waterways Cruise: "See the houseboat of Tom... Doodle Doodle." December 7, 2001
3. Pat can't think of the word "bed." You will find no underwear on the bed at Scan Quest. December 20, 2001

4. Interview with Dick Scoonover of Stanwood who gave his pet CPR. Then Nancy stops breathing. What to do?
5. Pat now has bad breath. How to get rid of it? I. M. Healthy Soy Nut Butter!
6. "Watch your fat melt away."
7. Redo Soy Nut Butter spot. January 17, 2002

8. KOMO/ABC News music plays for Quizno's ad. Pat runs with it. January 22, 2002
9. Feedback loop. "'Scuse me." January 25, 2002
10. "Fast Girl's: Colon." March 5, 2002
11. "Notice how I smoothed over my mistake." "What mistake?" March 27, 2002
12. Pat stumbles over 800 number. (No longer the Husky Station.) April 1, 2002
13. "They were incest, er, incensed." April 2, 2002
14. CD won't cue, Pat pounds on it. April 8, 2002
15. "This is KING, er, KOMO." April 11, 2002
16. Leftover Warehouse Sale. Pat out of breath. April 11, 2002
17. Wrong cue for Frank Gorshen interview rerun. April 24, 2002
18. Missed cue. May 2, 2002
19. Introduction for the Surf Dude "Chick Lick" movie review. May 6, 2002
20. Segue Serenade introduced as Contrast and Compare. May 7, 2002
21. Traffic by "Lisa, er, Lisa's friend Angela." May 9, 2002
22. Wrong cue for Anne Compton rerun. June 10, 2002
23. Pat can't find O'Neal Plumbing phone number. June 27, 2002
24. "Listeners to the P.I." July 18, 2002
25. Panafax UF 885 won't stop ringing. Pat yells at it. August 2, 2002

26. CD won't cue, Pat smashes tray against the wall. August 6, 2002
27. "Traffic by Elvis Presley." August 6, 2002
28. Can't get Stephen Tubbs on the air. August 6, 2002

29. Three attempts to find the right cue for interview rerun. August 29, 2002
30. Thing won't play. August 29, 2002

31. Pat sneezes. July 17, 2002
32. Pat sneezes. August 29, 2002

33. Seafair interview of Bernie Little: "He's full of shit!"
34. Pat's reaction to "Full of [bleep]." August 4, 2002




Tenor Boy Collection

1. August 14, 2003. Debut
2. August 21, 2003. Fallen, and can't get up
3. August 28, 2003. People who look like their pets
4. September 4, 2003. Putting on weight
5. September 12, 2003. Adopted?
6. September 18, 2003. Joined in progress
7. September 25, 2003. Kalakala Song
8. October 2, 2003. No sex jokes
9. October 9, 2003. Ointments.





Lisa Dance and Entertainment Reports
Part 1

1. Flawless Sports Report, Fall 1997
2. First Entertainment Report at Recency Lanes. November 12, 1999.
3. Who Said It: Buzz. January 20, 2000
4. Entertainment Report, does Lisa need laser eye surgery? February 18, 2000
5. Entertainment Report, April 13, 2000.
6. Entertainment Report, July 2000.
7. Dance, May 2000.
8. Traffic with Chakachas, July 13, 2000.
9. Entertainment Report at Seafair, Stout-Hearted Men, August 5, 2000.
10. Dance, then traffic report, August 23, 2000 (One Year Anniversary)
11. Lisa reads How the Grinch Stole Christmas, November 9, 2000;
12. Dance, March 23, 2001
13. Life imitates art, Lisa dances in Mexico, June 25, 2001
14. Follow-up, Spirit of Washington ad read, June 25, 2001
15. Who Said It? September 28, 2001, Part 1
16. Who Said it: Stang, Lang or Ang & Chang? September 28, 2001, Part 2


Lisa Dance and Entertainment Reports
Part 2

1. Entertainment Report, "Goldens Globes," January 21, 2002.
2. Entertainment Report tease, January 21, 2002
3. Second Entertainment Report for January 21, 2002.
4. Entertainment Report, February 11, 2002.
5. Entertainment Report, pig sty, March 4, 2002.
6. And again March 4, 2002
7. Pat helps Lisa with her Entertainment Report, April 1, 2002.
8. Entertainment Report, April 22, 2002.
9. Lisa dance to drumming, May 28, 2002.
10. Completely recovered, May 28, 2002.
11. Tootsie brings up idea of Lisa dancing, but Pat can't find crash sound effect, July 9, 2002.
12. Lisa Dances to "Gimmie Dat Ding," August 2, 2002.
13. Auntie M Dance Request, September 6, 2002
14. Last Dance, September 6, 2002.

(Missing: April 15, 2002: Entertainment Report
February 11, 2002; 9:50: Entertainment Report, second try.)




Lisa Foster
Spider Fear Special

1. January 6, 2000: Crushed spider found in pocket.
2. August 31, 2001: Lisa walking into big spider webs. Pat thinks flies are dumb.
3. March 5, 2002: Lisa moved to Washington because there are no poisonous snakes here. "Are there any poisonous snakes here?"
4. May 7, 2002: Lisa afraid of spider bite scene in Spiderman. Why not rent "Arachnophobia?"

5. May 9, 2002: Lisa to be on Animal Planet documentary. Lisa worried that she's not phobic enough. She's nervous when people look at her.
6. May 15, 2002: Orphaned orca argument, Pat has to resort to spider analogy to win. "I hate nature!"
7. May 21, 2002: Lisa has mapped out time to avoid spider bite scene in Spiderman.

8. June 10, 2002: News; spider nest in woman's ear.
9. Spider in Pat's ear?
10. Spider in Chris Cashman's ear?

11. June 28, 2002: "Spiders and Snakes" song. Documentary filming in radio studio. Lisa wanted to cure her fear because she doesn't want to kill spiders. Pat afraid of baby seals. Lisa: "I hate you."
12. Rich touched a black widow on a pole from California. Debbie transported black widow on grapes.
13. Charles: hobo spider. Killing spiders humanely. Table the topic

14. July 2, 2002: Lisa went through spider fear therapy while on vacation

15. July 8, 2002: Coming up: spider fear therapist Steve Taylor. Lisa's therapy. Pat has a fear of saber-tooth tigers.
16. Weather forecasters not afraid of Pat. Spider expert Steve Taylor. Lisa didn't kill a spider at her home (her dog did).
17. More Steve Taylor, had to cure Lisa in just a short time. Lisa had to give spiders happy names. Bird-catching spiders.
18. Another phobia.
19. More phobias: xhantha-phobia.
20. Shake-a-phobia?

21. July 12, 2002: Crocodile Hunter to be on show? Lisa Foster: Spider Hunter. Lisa didn't kill spider in her home. Pat not trying to incite Lisa's fear.
22. July 24, 2002: John Levesque didn't know Lisa was on National Geographic phobia series. Pop-Up book of phobias. They never told Lisa when the show would run.




Lisa Foster Stories
Disc 1

1. Lisa at the Nutcracker. December 13, 1999

2. Lisa has scratched cornea, calls from the doctor's office. December 17, 1999
3. Lisa shows up late due to scratched cornea, can't read anything. December 17, 1999

4. Lisa has to take her barfy dogs on a car trip. December 24, 1999
5. More barfy dogs, solutions. December 24, 1999

6. Lisa's dream: Walter Matthau was Lisa's personal "slave." Someone triggers the seven second delay dump at the end during the Cyndi Lauper song. July 7, 2000
7. The stupidest thing Lisa has done for love: gave a car away to a boyfriend. July 7, 2000
8. Lisa at the movies, sat in front of a talker. August 14, 2000

9. Lisa at Westport.
10. Lisa at Westport cafe with Walter.
11. Lisa and pulltabs with Walter.
12. Walking the beach at Westport? November 13, 2000

13. Lisa pulled over by a police officer, cries. November 16, 2000
14. More on traffic stop. Lisa doesn't have what other women have. Speed dating on Northwest Afternoon, "With a fun new twist." November 16, 2000
15. Speed dating twist revealed. November 16, 2000
16. Speed date recount
17. Speed date clips. "I am such a dork!"
18. Lisa's speed date choice calls in. November 17, 2000

19. Panties inside out. Lisa recalls when she found an anti-static sheet in her pants. May 2, 2001

20. Tease for Lisa being questioned for being a prostitute.
21. Lisa was questioned for being a prostitute. May 16, 2001

22. Lisa had corn removed. Had a "pill party."
23. Lisa had abscess tooth.
24. Lisa shows corn. June 15, 2001


Lisa Stories
Disc 2

1. Lisa finds clothes in her driveway. October 3, 2000
2. Lisa finds more clothes in her driveway. June 28, 2001

3. Lisa hosts KOMO Halloween event. The pirate cries and there are too many Picachus. October 30, 2000

4. Lisa encounters a supernatural deer. June 27, 2001
5. Lisa stung by a bee in the worst places. June 29, 2001

6. Yoga exercise story part 1. Clip 1 Clip 2
7. Yoga exercise story part 2. July 18, 2001

8. Lisa and movie theaters. August 23, 2001
9. Stupid squirrel. August 30, 2001
10. Lisa's dogs can't swim. August 31, 2001

11. Lisa sees Maria Muldaur at the bank. August 31, 2001
12. Lisa sees Maria Muldaur at the bank. May 21, 2002

13. A scab falls off at the swimming pool. September 26, 2001
14. Lisa discovers an anti-static cling sheet stuck to her pants. September 27, 2001
15. Lisa's dogs watch TV. September 28, 2001
16. Lisa is worried about young boys in the women's changing room. Timmy calls in. November 2, 2001
17. Lisa buys nursing women's gowns with "booby holes" in them. October 30, 2001

18. Lisa hates people who grab her seat back. Pat: "Sometimes kids are cute." Lisa: "When?" November 6, 2001
19. Lisa kicks seat kicker back. November 6, 2001
20. Pat and Lisa recount their sea monkey history. November 6, 2001
21. Lisa hates it when someone else presses the elevator button after her. November 8, 2001
22. "Yard" the airline seat. November 8, 2001

23. Lisa has to take one of her dogs to the vet. November 9, 2001
24. Lisa has one sick dog, can't feed either of them. November 12, 2001
25. Vet expenses. November 13, 2001
26. Why not put peanut butter on the other dog's butt, as that is where their nose is anyway? November 13, 2001
27. Lisa was afraid of toilets when she was a child, so Pat reads "Toilet of Terror" from the Weekly World News. November 14, 2001
28. Lisa's weekend. November 19, 2001
29. Lisa stuck a marble up her nose. November 19, 2001
30. Lisa can't say "ball" on the radio because her dogs are listening. November 19, 2001
31. Because she is single, Lisa must "self medicate" her dogs. November 19, 2001


Lisa Stories
Disc 3

1. Lisa puts up her Christmas lights. November 29, 2001
2. Lisa's blind date. November 29, 2001

3. Lisa at The Prince and the Pauper.
4. More Prince and the Pauper. November 30, 2001

5. "I hate rodeos!" December 5, 2001
6. Lisa at The Nutcracker. December 13, 2001
7. Did Lisa really win a prize through a telemarketer? December 13, 2001
8. Lisa's family is not ready for a holiday gathering at Victoria. December 19, 2001

9. Lisa's boyfriend wanted Lisa to pay for Frank Sinatra tickets. December 20, 2001
10. Lisa's boyfriend wanted Lisa to pay for Frank Sinatra tickets. June 25, 2002

11. Lisa loves tools. December 20, 2001

12. Hot flash. Fake cigarettes. December 31, 2001
13. Lisa is now wearing a tee shirt to cool off. December 31, 2001

14. Lisa's boil scabbed over. January 24, 2002
15. Lisa kept mementos from former boyfriends. February 13, 2002

16. "What a Wonderful World" is Lisa's former boyfriend's favorite song. February 14, 2002
17. "What a Wonderful World" is Lisa's former boyfriend's favorite song. May 8, 2002

18. Lisa's ingrown toenail.
19. Ingrown toenail calls
20. More ingrown toenail calls. February 15, 2002
21. Lisa dreamed she had hair on her chest. February 15, 2002


Lisa Stories
Disc 4

1. Talking to your pets. Lisa trained Molly to identify toys by name. February 19, 2002
2. Lisa's dogs snore. February 19, 2002
3. Lisa's dogs and the 2001 earthquake. February 28, 2002
4. Lisa was a high school cheerleader for the "Vintage Crushers." March 1, 2002
5. Lisa found a hygiene liner in her swimsuit. March 5, 2002
6. Lisa kept mementos from her former boyfriends. March 5, 2002
7. Lisa stuck behind "smelly, pooey manure truck." April 5, 2002
8. Lisa vs. Hints from Hellouise. April 5, 2002
9. Lisa vs. Hints from Hellouise. July 17, 2002

10. Lisa's zit.
11. Lisa's Flipper impression.
12. Herb notices Lisa's zit. April 11, 2002

13. Girl kicked Lisa's seat, Lisa's boyfriend intervened. April 15, 2002
14. Lisa does not understand why people exercise to the point of pain or need distractions. April 16, 2002
15. Lisa does not want a formal funeral. April 17, 2002
16. It's too wet to mow the lawn. April 18, 2002
17. Lisa hates confusing story problems. April 22, 2002
18. Plumbing problems. April 23, 2002
19. Lisa keeps pet rooster that wandered into her yard. April 24, 2002
20. Lisa is breaking out from a Hawaiian lay that was put on her in the studio. May 1, 2002
21. Lisa to judge firemen for calendar. May 9, 2002
22. Embarrassing moment: Lisa gives dog biscuit for man's dog in the drive-thru teller's line. May 13, 2002
23. Lisa taught kid to say "I see dead people." May 15, 2002
24. Lisa nearly ran into Christian Slater's chest. May 16, 2002
25. Lisa has "violent" problems with soy. May 20, 2002
26. Lisa always sits next to the person with the open sore. May 21, 2002
27. Lisa operated an old-fashioned telephone switchboard. "How old are you?" May 23, 2002
28. Lisa's mom told her to marry rich. May 23, 2002
29. Lisa's job shadow. May 29, 2002
30. "You've Been Dumped" author date advice.
31. More date advice. May 30, 2002


Lisa Stories
Disc 5

1. Lisa to meet Harrison Ford. June 20, 2001
2. Lisa met Harrison Ford.
3. More Harrison Ford.
4. Lisa stole pens at the charity event. June 23, 2001
5. Harrison Ford is dating Minnie Driver. January 18, 2002
6. Harrison Ford to mary Calista Flockhart. July 26, 2002

7. Gary and Lisa sing to songs from O Brother Where Art Thou. Lisa plays wrong song. Lisa's Las Vegas trip; needle sign on the toilet at the Riviera. "We don't check traffic now."
8. Missy wet the whole house when Lisa came back.
9. Lisa sat next to a laugher on the plane. June 3, 2002

10. Makeshift banner for a baby shower: "Grand Opening." June 5, 2002

11. How late can Lisa show up for work and still get paid?
12. Lisa shows up.
13. More sickness
14. Is Lisa's sickness "morning sickness?" June 12, 2002

15. Lisa orders a kid's meal. June 19, 2002

16. Brushing dog's teeth. June 21, 2002
17. Expressing anal glands. June 21, 2002

18. Lisa spilled coffee on herself. June 27, 2002
19. Misheard lyric: "Pay the Rent Collect." June 28, 2002
20. Lisa has never broken a bone. She is "bouncy." July 9, 2002
21. Lisa was a repo girl. June 22, 2002
22. Lisa won't leave her windows open at night because she's afraid of axe murders. June 22, 2002

23. 41st birthday tomorrow. June 23, 2002
24. Past birthday on a cruise. Lisa ankles swelled up, so she put her legs over her head.
25. Lisa gets free oil change for her birthday. Lisa's impression of a guy breaking his leg: "I'm a kangaroo. Doing, doing!"
26. Every year the birthday cake just gets bigger and bigger.
27. Lisa's best birthday as a child. June 24, 2002


Lisa Stories
Disc 6

1. Lisa's back. Was too bored with herself to stay home. June 26, 2002
2. Lisa is uncoordinated, fell up stairs. June 31, 2002
3. Lisa and the other female employees did "pencil tests" in the bank vault. August 1, 2002
4. Lisa got in a tussle with the Seafair security guard. August 5, 2002
5. Girl fight in the high school locker room. August 7, 2002
6. Lisa's family's one smart cousin. August 8, 2002
7. Lisa's old lady chest. August 9, 2002
8. Cheerleader Lisa. August 12, 2002

9. Lisa's friend from California.
10. Lisa's friend's peacock in her yard. August 12, 2002

11. Lisa's birthmark. "I don't know why I'm telling you this." August 13, 2002

12. Lisa's dating service story coming up.
13. Dating service story. August 14, 2002

14. Lisa shoplifted candy. August 20, 2002

15. If Lisa had a makeover, she would change everything. August 1, 2002
16. Lisa to get her face "sanded off."
17. More on Lisa's upcoming surgery.
18. More on Lisa's upcoming surgery. August 26, 2002
19. Call from the doctor's office (joined in progress). August 27, 2002
20. New face revealed for Pat and Gary.
21. More on face.
22. Molly and Missy's reaction to Lisa's new face.
23. More face. September 4, 2002


The Best of Lisa

1. Lisa snores and scratches her left armpit. August 14, 2000
2. Lisa likes egg salad sandwiches. August 23, 2000
3. Lisa should be more aggressive in public? July 11, 2001
4. Lisa helps act out a golf joke, then doesn't get it. July 12, 2001
5. Testing Wint-o-Green Life Savers. Under the coat with Gary. October 26, 2001
6. Lisa drills a hole in the studio wall. December 13, 2001
7. Lisa not a football fan. December 31, 2001
8. Lisa grinds her teeth. March 4, 2002

9. Oyster slurp-off tomorrow (joined in progress). March 26, 2002
10. Pat questions the oyster slurp results.
11. More questioning yesterday's results. March 27, 2002

12. Lisa is voted most eligible bachlorette. April 2, 2002
13. Expressing dog's glands, explained. Lisa says "anal." April 2, 2002

14. Exercise pill could give Gary more time to clean out his garage.
15. Gary Hoffman flub
16. Reaction to flub. "Did you say we hate each other like brother and sister?"
April 17, 2002

17. Mira Sorvino Triumph of Love movie stinks, but Lisa is the only one who saw it so she has to interview Sorvino.
18. Interview excerpt, and reaction. April 17, 2002

19. Lisa likes snake and snap-it fireworks, but Pat thinks they're lame. June 26, 2002

20. Herb Weisebaum sits in Lisa's chair, says she has a "big butt." July 1, 2002
21. Lisa back, Pat and Gary try to provoke a reaction to Herb's comment last week. July 8, 2002

22. Lisa has a problem with the whole monkey thing.

23. Lisa's Purdy past
24. Pat clarifies that they were just joking about Lisa being in Purdy. July 10, 2002

25. Health guidelines for waist size.
26. Waist size clarification. July 16, 2002

27. Lisa hits the post.
28. Herb comments on Lisa hitting the post. August 8, 2002

29. Lisa: "Let's hug." Gary: "I hate you!" August 9, 2002

30. Birdie Botts Beans taste test with Chris Cashman
31. Taste test continued. August 22, 2002

32. Lisa would not last long in a beer factory. September 5, 2002




Lisa Foster Flubs

1. Missed toss to Paul Tosch. December 13, 1999
2. Army Reserve. "Erase, erase." December 16 1999
3. Lisa caught off guard at Tailgate. December 29, 1999
4. Unprepared for traffic sponsorship. January 17, 2000
5. Lisa on the Know-It-Alls. She gave away Titanic answer. May 26, 2000
6. Lotto jackpot figures not included with sponsorship information. July 4, 2000
7. Stanley Steamer stammer. July 4, 2000
8. Lisa sneezes under Gary's news report. August 23, 2000
9. "One Good WebVan.com." February 9, 2001
10. "Bachelor of Masters degree." February 19, 2001
11. City University. March 14, 2001
12. Integra Telecom. May 31, 2001
13. Can't pronounce "obstetric." June 1, 2001
14. Pat gives a formal introduction, and Lisa's first sound is a cough. June 19, 2001
15. Lisa interrupts before ad is finished. August 10, 2001
16. Lisa late. August 10, 2001
17. Lisa has to give a traffic report, but the computer crashed. August 16, 2001
18. Sale price: it's a better deal as Lisa speaks. August 31, 2001
19. O'Neal Plumbing. Lisa makes noises in the background. September 17, 2001
20. Lisa spoils the Name the Cell Tune contest. "Well of course, I wouldn't blurt it out." September 18, 2001
21. Pat stalls as Lisa is late for traffic. September 18, 2001
22. "Visit a GN Sore." September 19, 2001
23. Ride the "Saint" express bus. September 24, 2001
24. Lisa confuses Susan Hayward and Rita Hayworth. When Lisa is wrong, she piles on herself. September 25, 2001
25. Lisa says "CD rewind" in place of "CD-RW." October 1, 2001
26. Pat makes Lisa laugh before she does a traffic sponsorship. October 26, 2001
27. Quadrant Homes. "Sorry 'bout that." October 26, 2001
28. Lisa says "Dan Willis" instead of "Dan Wilson." November 7, 2001
29. Lisa says "Dan Willis" again. November 8, 2001
30. Bon Marche old copy, Thanksgiving Day sale. November 30, 2001
31. Home Depot, "wall quantities last." November 30, 2001
32. Lisa yawns. November 30, 2001
33. Wrong time: "seven." December 20, 2001
34. "Scares" instead of skating pairs. February 11, 2002
35. Shadow Morning Show, Lisa allegedly spoils the bit. March 1, 2002
36. Lisa late coming back from the bathroom. March 5, 2002
37. "Putting out new albums is the thing to do." March 14, 2002
38. "We don't do traffic now?!" August 7, 2002
39. Saturn "customer cervix index."
40. Reaction to "cervix" incident. August 13, 2002
41. Study to find out how "maymerds" pee. August 19, 2002
42. Lisa gives wrong time. August 22, 2002




Not included in the above collection (because these occurrences take up entire discs on their own!)

Lisa arrives back from vacation to find sea monkeys injured. 1996

Lisa's first day on KOMO at bowling alley. November 12, 1999.

Lisa kept Christmas ornaments from her former boyfriend Jack. December 10, 1999

Lisa vs. Drew's Party Mix. January 19, 2000

Lisa's 40th birthday. July 24, 2001

Lisa and parenthood. April 10, 2002

Who Wants To Be a Millionaire contest with Sharon. August 20, 2002




Ted Crackerwagon Highlights

1. Lisa, not Ted fills in for Pat on his vacation. July 30, 1997
2. Brilliant "anal"-sys of the game. September 18, 1999
3. Impressions. September 19, 1999
4. More impressions. November 11, 2000
5. Satellite delay. September 18, 1999
6. Delay against someone saying foul language. September 29, 2000
7. Seven second delay. September 29, 2001
8. Satellite delay. November 3, 2001
9. Opposite of a satellite delay. November 3, 2001
10. "That's a hell of a delay." November 7, 2001
11. Two interviews: Richard McCormick and a new frat pledge. September 18, 1999
12. Two interviews, slightly different version. November 4, 2000
13. Ted fights opponent coach. October 2, 1999
14. Enemy Coach's Show. September 2, 2000
15. Ted interviews "Barbara Hedges." October 16, 1999
16. Ted interviews Barbara Hedges (a real female this time). September 16, 2000
17. Ted interviews "Barbara Hedges" again. November 17, 2001
18. "Don't pronounce the 'C'." November 6, 1999
19. Ted goes to the racetrack. November 13, 1999
20. Wordy Crackerwagon. November 13, 1999
21. Ted has five questions for Pat. November 20, 1999
22. Terrorists might want to prevent the Kingdome implosion. March 24, 2000
23. Ted has a metaphor for our times about the Kingdome. March 24, 2000
24. Geese getting killed for pooping. June 12, 2000
25. Gary Hoffman is a toady. June 12, 2000
26. Ted is streaming on the web. July 21, 2000
27. Contract dispute. September 30, 2000
28. Ted Crackerwagon in stereo. September 30, 2000
29. Beaver song. October 7, 2000
30. Ted and Pat "get high" together. November 7, 2000
31. Alice Thalus from Corvallis. October 7, 2000
32. Ted does the Macarana. November 4, 2000
33. Huskies are playing the "Trojans" [laugh]. October 6, 2001
34. Pat has a big butt, Ted has a four part report. October 13, 2001
35. Ted tries to butter up Pat and the crew so he can sit in the broadcast booth. October 20, 2001
36. Ted report on the "little blue buildings." October 20, 2001
37. Ted has invested in "Honeywells." November 7, 2001
38. Another report on the little blue buildings. August 4, 2002
39. Reading words phonetically. Ted is a "dips hit." October 27, 2001
40. Pat praises Ted. November 24, 2001
41. Tribute to Leonard Brokus. December 28, 2001
42. "Dam." November 10, 2001
43. Ted wants to get into the hospitality suite. August 4, 2002
44. Ted has some good news. August 14, 2003
45. Magnuson Park is melting in the dark. August 15, 2003
46. Ted Crackerwagon has a star named after him by the Pat Pack. July 2, 2002

Pat Alder requests
47. Pat O'Day praises Pat Cashman. August 5, 2000
48. Buster Hump e-mail: Big Ass Pass. September 21, 2000
49. Pat wants a duck plucker. September 30, 2000
50. 13 Coins vs. the Circle S Barbecue in Pendleton. November 6, 2001
51. Pat Pack names sound like a peanut gallery. August 23, 2000
52. Birthday song for Miss Dudley's daughter's birthday. February 9, 2001
53. Pat introduces the Twisted Christmas Chipmunk parody. December 13, 1999
54. Chipmunk parody slowed down to half speed, or at about the same speed that the animal voices were recorded.
55. Pat Alder's Jocks-to-Position Jam selection. September 29, 2003




Climb Challenge for Brian the Intern

March 12, 2004:
1. The first salvo: "Hey, do you want to kick Brian's ass?" Brian wants serious competition this time, unlike how he feels later.
2. No calls yet. No one wants to take on Brian. Prizes announced. Is Brian in shape? Brian will get his hair cut if he loses.
3. Haircut challenge restated.

March 15
4. Reset the challenge for the day.
5. Is Bob Case the team leader? Rick Hanson has commandeered the comment line. At events, people go for the gum. Two challengers: Rick Klumph, a marathon runner, and Courtney, a nine-year-old. It sounds like Brian wants less serious competition now.
6. Earl call. Pat is still playing too much crap.
7. Brian's training schedule.
8. Joseph will climb in firefighter gear
9. Caller will climb up in a suit of armor.
10. Challenger James Tate. Brian will climb in three minutes.

March 16
11. More challengers. Brian still wants to challenge Courtney.
12. Rats in the Bank of America Tower. Challenger Brad. Brian starting to break down.

March 17
13. Drawing coming up. Tenor Boy mock tribute to Brian
14. Drawing for the challenger: Rick Klumph

15. March 18: Brian shows up late. Rick Klumph calls in. Brian's alarm didn't go off.
16. March 19: Update/summary. Brian does not know how to work the microphone. Change in tone: Brian will get his head shaved "if" he loses. Brian's training regimen.

March 22
17. Climb results: Brian lost. Call out to a barber.
18. Rick the barber calls in. Miki from the Denny Regrade, saw photographs of Brian and Angela.
19. Clip of Angela crossing the finish line.
20. Rick Klumph and Brian at the finish.

March 23
21. Brian has known three people named Rick, and he hates them all.
22. Is Brian's hair long enough for a wig? He can put it in his mouth. The haircut.
23. Brian getting used to his new hairstyle already.

June 22
24. Kate Cashman in studio to give Brian a chest hair waxing.
25. Brian getting chest waxed for job interview. "On three!"
26. Chest and full stomach. Brazil wax too?
27. Waxing results.





Arthur Allen Collection
(With notes for the Pat Pack illiterate)

1. Call to Ask Me Anything with guest host Drake Collier. 1993, KING radio
(This was before the KIRO/KSTW CBS swap, and I wanted to know what it was like when stations swapped network affiliations. Later I found out that Dorothy Bullett actively lobbied NBC for the affiliation.)
2. "Stout Hearted Men" sing-along. March 17, 1998
(This is a song regularly played on the show, with Pat and Lisa signing along. There were two places in the song where they couldn't figure out the words, so for this remote broadcast I brought along the sheet music to give to them in person because I was too cheap to mail it to them. They took this as an invitation to make me sing the song, which I wasn't expecting. Pat said "You don't sound very stout," and then he took the microphone to someone even less prepared to sing than I was.)
3. Chat room message to Dori Monson, toll-free phone sex line. 1998
(Earlier Dori had a call with a question very similar to his experience in the story I remember but which the host had forgotten. I ran out of tape just before Dori said the last few words of this segment.)

4. Interview at the Husky Tailgate. September 18, 1999.
(I paid $20 to see this live appearance while everyone else there paid that money just to to eat food and socialize, so I was the only person who seemed to be interested in the radio show itself and hanging around the broadcast booth.)
5. Guy in the Honeybucket. September 18, 1999.
(Because I was just standing around watching the show, they decided to put me in a bit. The other voice is Eric Johnson, of Eric's Little Heroes on KOMO-TV. The show was on delay so I couldn't listen along [until I got home] to hear Pat laugh at "I can't hurry up if you're doing that!")

6. "I Don' Wanna Do Dat." October 9, 1999
(Several times during Husky Tailgate broadcasts, they would play the "I Don' Wanna Do Dat" song and run the microphone around the room to get individuals to sing the refrain "I Don' Wanna Do Dat." I must have done this several times, but this is the only instance I know of offhand.)
7. Arthur wins $100. November 6, 1999
(While other Pat Packers have been able to win Pat Cashman Roast Beans and other minor prizes, I never had time to participate in phone-in contests. Luckily this is "all" I have won instead. I probably won because I was one of the first persons there at the broadcast site, and the first to submit an entry, so Eric Johnson simply reached down to the bottom of the stack. Immediately after the broadcast and before I had actually received the money, I walked over to Shorey's Books and bought a $130 detailed property atlas of the South Seattle and Renton area.)
8. Fred Hopkins mentions Arthur's drive-in theater website. June 30, 2000
(Fred talks about B-movies and often the particular Eastside drive-in he saw them at, so I told him about my site. On a different day, Fred Hopkins, an attorney, talked about wills, and for an example he used the Pat Cashman tape collection as an important asset that should be covered in a will. Hmmmm.)

9. Arthur spotted with crowd out on the street.
(The "other station" that took all their engineers was KPLZ 101.5.)
10. Pat Pack sound off.
(For Pat's one year anniversary on KOMO, several fans gathered outside the studio window one floor below and across the street. Steve Wilson simply had us shout out our names as he rolled his cell phone past. Notice also that Steve asks Lisa if he is on delay, as if Lisa thought there was a seven second delay force field around the whole station. This was before I bought a good VCR and other equipment to automatically record more than two hours of audio away from home, so I actually recorded this sequence on my Walkman standing out in the crowd. I did the same thing on Track 2.)
11. Pat Pack names sound like a kid's show peanut gallery. August 23, 2000

12. Debut of the Dave Dudley CD provided by Arthur. September 20, 2000
(Pat had said on his previous station that the best Dave Dudley records are the original ones on the Mercury label. When Pat moved to KOMO, the only Dave Dudley songs he played were the new re-recordings that sounded awful, sort of like the Sesame Street theme song. Eventually in Canada I found an lp of "Truck Drivin' Son of a Gun," bought a CD burner so I could give Pat a copy, and got to sit in the studio for the first time.)
13. Pat plays the Dave Dudley CD for Lisa Foster's birthday. Arthur thanked for making the CD copy. July 24, 2001
14. E-mail: old Rainier Brewery and new Starbucks facility. August 13, 2001
(Traffic reporter Paul Tosch calls the landmark north into Seattle on I-5 the "old Rainier Brewery," and the landmark north into Seattle on 99 the "new Starbucks Facility." I had to set the record straight. Another theory I hadn't thought of is that Paul likes Rainier Beer over shopping at Sears.)
15. Lisa Foster interviews Arthur in the buffet line at Kenmore Lanes. November 16, 2001
(Shortly after this interview, the food eaters had to sit around the corner and out of view from the broadcast booth. Appropriately, coming back from the next break Pat played the flea from the Warner Bros. cartoon singing "There's Food Around the Corner!")

16. 4th of July parade call. July 4, 1996.
(Back then the show had an unofficial motto: "We ache to serve." The first joke was supposed to be a play on that. The second joke was based on an observation that Sleep Country and The Bon seemed to have conflicting advertising claims about their mattress sales. I'm surprised they let me talk so close to the network news break. I guess I have better timing than I thought.)
17.Politicians throwing out their namesakes
(I didn't contribute to this joke, but it did provide some well needed inspiration for when I did call.)
18. Thanksgiving Day parade report. November 22, 2001
(Before this morning, all I had thought to do was the Harry Potter float joke. It's a good thing I could build on something I heard on the show.)

19. Arthur mentioned in Big Al call for "Stop the Cavalry." December 19, 2001
(I played another version of the Christmas song "Stop the Cavalry" at a Christmas party at Big Al's house, and Al remembered that.)
20. Tacoma Dome name sponsorship ideas. February 28, 2002
(Pat has mentioned Tacoma Screw before, wondering what really goes on in that company, though Lisa didn't get the reference.)

21. New telephone lettering: UP-HURL-9. Pat takes all the credit. April 10, 2002
(On past stations, Pat would get comment line telephone numbers that were just numbers and didn't spell anything like the studio phone numbers do. So Pat and Lisa would figure out what they spell and apply that name to the comment line, even if it didn't make any sense. KING's comment line became the GLIG line, and The Buzz's line was the Pam-Melt line. KOMO's old 800 number spelled 87-HUSKY, but when someone else outbid KOMO to broadcast Husky sports, they kept the old 800 number and used just the numbers. For some reason they did not try to figure out what else it could spell. Not long before this, another member of the Pat Pack linked to a site that automatically figures out what a telephone number spells, so I entered KOMO's number into that. I couldn't seem to pick out anything striking from the long list, so I posted the list on the Pat Pack, and someone else singled out "UP-HURL-9." It should have been honor enough that Pat used the idea for the new number spelling that I had a hand in creating, but when Lisa asked "Who put that up there?" Pat took all the credit.)
22. Arthur finally credited for UP-HURL-9. May 14, 2002
(Even though I didn't write Pat back asking for credit for the phone number spelling, one month later he remembered anyway. Pat called me "Arthur Brown" at first, because earlier in the day he had interviewed CNN anchor Aaron Brown. Pat and Lisa continued to use "UP-HURL-9" for their last four months on KOMO.)

23. Bird poop observation e-mail. June 6, 2002
(Later I heard Pat say that he has trouble pronouncing the word "regularly," and often changes ad copy to eleminate the word. You can hear him stumble over the word "reg-you-larrrrrr-ly" in my e-mail. He did get exactly right the inflection I intended on "There was just a line....")
24. The Pig uses Arthur's jokes. July 12, 2002
(A regular fictional character on the show is The Pig, someone who tells sexist jokes to rile up Lisa. On the previous Pig segment before this one, I noticed that Pat was using jokes that The Pig had used before; one of the jokes was used three or four times before. [What's six inches long, two inches wide and drives women wild? Money!] I figured Pat needed some new material, so the first two jokes were from a recent Prairie Home Companion Joke Show, and the last one was from the Red Green television show. I can't explain that long riff in the middle. I guess three jokes does not a Pig segment make, so Pat had to pad it out a little.)

25. Any signs of Arthur Allen?
(There was supposed to be a rally outside the station for Pat's third year anniversary on KOMO, but no one else had shown up at 5:30 am. I tried to stay in the shadows until someone else showed up so that Pat wouldn't think I was a dork for standing out there alone. Sounds like he did see me, and saw that I was wearing headphones.)
26. Arthur is THE listener.
27. Pat replays the bit where his mother talks with Brad Liggins.
(I thought I remembered Pat having his mother speak on his show at least once, so I searched my collection and brought this in, one week after Pat's mother passed away. It seemed like the perfect tribute.)
28. Arthur's audio archive. Pat: "And he's amazing!" August 26, 2002
(On Pat's previous station he brought to the air a fan who had an extensive collection of tapes of the show, and who even brought a collection of bloopers Pat had made. I wanted to be that fan. I wanted to have that collection! Finally by 2002 I had a big enough collection where I would have valuable enough material that Pat would want to play some of it on the air.)

29. Clem Phlergm gives Pat copies of the CDs that Arthur made for Clem. September 5, 2002
(Clem Phlergm is a call-in character belonging to the alter ego who once asked me for a collection of all his calls in my collection. This suggestion is what got me started on making other single topic compilations, which also meant I had to go back, catalog my collection and keep accurate records from that point on so in the future I could easily compile collections or find a specific bit on request.)
30. Pat mentions the website Mystique of the Three Letter Calls that Arthur suggested. September 2, 2003
(Even though Pat never mentioned my name, it would be a very strong coincidence if someone else suggested this website too.)
31. Pat plays the comment line call about Pat giving the wrong time the day before. September 4, 2003
(This was the last time I was ever caught up in my show backlog enough to listen to a show the same day it was broadcast. Thus I could notice flubs like this in time to send them in for the next show. Even though he promised he would never make this mistake again, twenty minutes before this at 8:10 he pronounced the time as 9:57, then talked about the 957kjrfm.com website.)
(Another time I made an observation about the show, but because I heard that show a week late the comments were no longer topical for Pat to read on the air. In that show Pat was playing "Strangers In the Night" by Frank Sinatra, which is the song where Frank ad-libs "Scooby dooby doo." Pat said that Scooby Doo is the only cartoon dog named after a Frank Sinatra song. I wrote back asking, "What about The Lady and The Tramp?" Pat wrote saying, "You are too, too smart Arthur!" but then never read my idea on the air, because by then it was too late.)

32. Arthur provides Pat a copy of the Armed Forces Radio Halloween prank at Frankenstein's Castle. October 31, 2003
(A couple of days before Halloween, Pat sent me a last-minute e-mail asking if I had a recording of him playing this bit of old audio on another station. I made the CD, and walked it over to the KJR studios because I couldn't mail it in time for Halloween. First I got there too early and there was no one there to let me in. When regular office hours did start, the receptionist wouldn't let me in to see Pat and his new studios. Pat was very unhappy with this when I told him about it, and said it wouldn't happen again.)
33. Comment line message about the Mix 92.5 comment line tone sounding like the Union Bay break tone. March 10, 2004
(My current work place plays this station over the PA system on Wednesday mornings, and I noticed that the tone played at the start of comment line calls sounded a lot like the tone they play over the PA system to tell us when to go to and come back from break. As a low impact practical joke to get back at my work for forcing me to listen to other stations I don't want to hear the rest of the week, I wanted Mitch and Lisa to play their tone repeatedly over the radio and maybe confuse the workers to leave for break early. [By the way, the station's phone message system allows the user to redo messages until they are satisfied with them. I did three tries until I gave up on it and released what you hear here.] I asked them to play it just before 9:00, and they played this version just before 8:00. After 9:15 they had found the tone and they did play it repeatedly, but by then we were back from our break and no one really paid attention. And besides, I don't record the show after 9:00 anyway, so I missed keeping the replay.)

Also missing and never recorded:
In the summer of 2000 I participated in a game of The Know-It-Alls with Ernie Brown where they asked me three questions and I got them all wrong. That's okay, because I only wanted the consolation prize: a picture book about outhouses.
In the spring of 1998 I contributed show synopses to an early web page about the Pat Cashman Show. Almost daily during that period Pat would mention my name on the show.
At the Halloween 2003 KJR party, someone walked around with an audio recorder asking for comments about the KJR lineup. I didn't think much of it for a month or two afterwards. It wasn't until I had heard the promos for several weeks that I realized my voice saying "Pat Cashman's on it" was used on promotions for the station. By the time I got employed and had to tape the show again, the station had changed its slogan and dropped the promos that had my voice.






Ray from Fircrest, Onyx Steele, Rickki Abbott, Dodi Manson, Crisco Mortenson

Ray from Fircrest, the KJR era:
1. November 5, 2001 Commercial jingles
2. September 30, 2003 Lost 45s aren't really lost. Impression: Robert Goulet.
3. October 2, 2003 Johnny Cash and Mr. Ed.
4. October 2, 2003 Chicago: "Man selling ice cream in the park."
5. October 3, 2003 Margaritaville
6. Margaritaville, take two
7. October 7, 2003 Dame Edna. Angela says it's better than his Julia Child impression (apparently not recorded).
8. Clem Phlergm also comments.
9. October 10, 2003 Call of the week: Top 10 worst jokes.
10. March 17, 2004 Arnold and Sigfield
11. October 14, 2003 Man does his own Arnold impression, wants to compete against Ray by doing a Clint Eastwood impression.
12. October 31, 2003 Bella Lagosi
13. March 16, 2004 Random bits of audio, including Ray from Fircrest, then dead air.
14. May 20, 1994 Commercial parody: Overactive Salivary Gland.

Ricky Abbott
15. February 4, 2004 First appearance in my collection.
16. February 19, 2004 Not ready at mic. Angela says "Fox Sports."
17. March 9, 2004 Ricky has cold
18. March 12, 2004 Pat says "Li... uh, Angela?" Ricky says "St. Pantrink's Day"
19. March 17, 2004 Top 5 Irish jokes
20. March 17, 2004 Re-performance of Irish jokes. Mistracking VCR leaks Lisa's show into the clip.
21. March 23, 2004 Microphone too tall.
22. March 31, 2004 Angela describes Ricky, then (s)he reports. Sneezes.
23. March 31, 2004 Re-performance, playing with the cough button
24. April 6, 2004 Wearing headgear
25. April 9, 2004 Reports via "car" phone.
26. April 13, 2004 Waiting for the five second delay, in case he uses a curse word.

27. Pre-KJR promo: Pat washed up on the beach
28. From Almost Live: Stop Doing That!


Disc 2

Dodi Manson
1. February 11, 2004 Angela calls Dodi "Dor." Tax loopholes.
2. February 17, 2004 "Giant" of the Valley?
3. March 1, 2004 Rerun excerpt of interview with the real car dealer who considers himself the "giant." Significance of the "pixie dust."
4. February 25, 2004 Ferry food.
5. March 11, 2004 Cheeseburger bill
6. March 18, 2004 Windshield repair ads with 24 restaurant dinner giveaways.
7. March 25, 2004 Deceptive business names.
8. April 12, 2004 Dodi says hi to Chris, but Chris doesn't answer back. More deceptive business names.

Onyx Steele
9. February 4, 2004 First appearance. Pat plays The Bob's "It's Pat Cashman." Pat shows Onyx how he does an introduction, and winds up sounding like Ricky Abbott.
10. Pat still sounding like Ricky.
11. Nicknames for Brian the Intern. "Butt Clown."
12. February 6, 2004 hate mail for yesterday's prank (not recorded).
13. New prank: lost dog.
14. February 23, 2004 Calls in from his morning show at KLLR Rock in "Hot-Lanta." (He says, "Gettin' you out of bed..." at 11:17 in Atlanta?)
15. March 30, 2004 Replay of funeral home prank
16. April 2, 2004 Onyx calls in from airport, expecting a town car.
17. Still at airport, a limo is okay.
18. Outside the building. No alcohol is allowed, so Onyx has to "get rid" of the beer outside.
19. Pat, Angela and Chris look at Onyx drunk outside the door.
20. A listener writes in to say that Onyx sounds like a fraud because his Atlanta station seems to start with a "K." (No one seemed to notice that on February 23 he called in from the middle of his prime morning shift in the east coast. It's unlikely in that time zone he would be on an important "morning" shift at 11:15, rather than a subordinate "mid-day" shift.)
21. Beer bottles tinkling
22. Onyx coaches Pat on Elton John song intro.
23. Between the songs. Onyx presses buttons on the board.
24. Onyx calls "Dog Vomit" to get rid of the "dead soldiers." Denouncement.

25. "It's So KOMO" jingle by The Bobs. Contrast and compare with the current KJR jingle on track 9. The Bobs re-recorded the jingle as "It's Pat Cashman" but kept the music from the KOMO-TV ad.
26. Think Smart and Succeed. This is the MP3 available at Pat's website, with the KOMO references edited out.


Missing:
April 8, 2004, 7:10. Arnold Schwarzenegger, "Strange bills."





Lisa "Mix"ed up #1
February - May 2004

1. Lisa says "7:11, Slurpee time!" Carried over tradition from Pat's show.

2. March 25, 2004: Mitch discovers that Lisa was once Most Eligible Bachelorette on Evening Magazine, so he renominates her again. Mitch will put on a dress if Lisa gets married. Save this tape!
3. March 26: Pet of the Week coming up. Lisa will be an old, bitter woman with dogs and cats. Mitch brings up Most Eligible Bachelorette nomination again.
4. Most Eligible Bachelorette recap. Lisa can't remember what station she was on before. E-mail: Why is Lisa still the Most Eligible Bachelorette?
5. April 27: John Curley on phone, Mitch's cookie fallout. Lisa has won Most Eligible Bachelorette for second time. Got screen time with Paul Allen

6. April 5: Dead bird incident. Lisa hates nature. Decorative bird houses.
7. Mitch's new vacuum cleaner, not fun to buy. More on dead bird. Caller suggestion: use the vacuum to suck out the bird. Mitch will chase Lisa with bird.
8. Mitch's hamster: Hammy the Hamster. What kind of bird is it?
9. Mitch's brush with nature: raccoon in garage. Caller: could it be a practical joke? Can Mitch get rid of the bird today? Today isn't looking too good.
10. April 7: Dead bird recap, clip of Mitch and Byron the Producer removing it.
11. Men always take care of dead things, one of two things Lisa needs a man for.
12. Recap, replay clip. Mitch got lost on way to house. "Don't play with my iguana!"

13. April 2: Mitch had mentioned that neither he nor Lisa had ever been called for jury duty. That jinxed Lisa into getting a summons.
14. More jury duty, qualifications.
15. Why is jury duty in the morning? Romantic possibilities?
16. April 23: Pool on how long before Lisa will be charged with contempt of court.
17. Lisa lost summons and juror badge, has to call court.
18. Could not get out of jury duty. No parking allowance. They call the court, get a stupid recording.
19. April 26: Why didn't Lisa get summoned last summer when she didn't have anything to do anyway?
20. May 2: Jury Appreciation Week. Lisa got out of jury duty.
21. May 13: Lisa got called for jury duty again, this time for Lake Forest Park court.
22. Lisa filling out juror's form.

23. February 23: Lisa tells Mitch the story of the Ant and the Grasshopper. Mitch is the grasshopper.
24. April 1: Byron plays behind-the-scenes footage of Mitch and Lisa preparing for the show. "Check two."
25. February 2: Firefighters are "distinguishing" a fire.
26. February 2: Lisa's butt sucks a lemon on Mix 92.5.


Lisa "Mix"ed up #2
April - May 2004

1. April 19, 2004: Mitch guesses what Lisa has signed up for. Captain Scott wants to stay in the airplane.
2. Lisa is between husbands, has no children (that she knows of). Signed up for salsa lessons. Lisa to jump out of plane.
3. May 17: Post-skydive. Lisa describes experience. Mitch is not a fan of heights.
4. More skydive. Mitch is Safety Sam.
5. Mitch rode in hot air balloon. Lisa questions bathroom issue. Mitch has questions. Audio clip after Lisa lands. Lisa has had six mid-life crises in the past two months. Chris the intern says Lisa looks like a banana.
6. May 25: E-mail from Donna, landing question.

7. April 29: Tease for Lisa hate mail.
8. Hate Mail, from Stephanie: hates that Lisa hates everything.
9. Listener response to hate mail.

10. May 18: Car problems. The "genie lamp" light came on in Lisa's dash board. Why do they have a picture instead of a name? Where did the oil go? Mitch says, "a blown Johnson rod."
11. Strange celebrity names. Lisa's "egg carton" is empty.
12. More oil light. Free wish? Listener suggestions. Get a bicycle. Get oil changed now.
13. Lisa has to spend part of her day at the oil change place. More calls: take evening classes to learn car maintenance.

14. May 19: Lisa went shopping at Old Navy
15. Conflict at Old Navy: coughing kid. Incident at "huge fountain" at the University of Washington.
16. Recap irresponsible children topic.
17. More topic.
18. Listener calls.
19. May 21: Hate mail on Old Navy incident. Lisa lets her dogs lick her on the mouth. "You are an idiot!"

20. May 25: Lisa buys a hand-cranked ice cream maker.
21. Ice cream maker makes four quarts. "How much is four quarts?" Lisa has a plan to get out of the work.
22. More quart question.
23. Lisa is having second thoughts already about the ice cream maker. Four quarts is plenty. "What an idiot I am."
24. Ice cream ingredients.
25. May 27: Ice cream maker arrived, some assembly required.
26. Lisa to buy Haggen Daz so she can read the directions to put the ice cream maker together.
27. May 28: Mitch rips the scab off the ice cream maker topic. She still hasn't put it together. No ready made ice cream mix like for a bread maker.
28. June 1: Ice cream maker reckoning. Lisa had to turn on the stove and do actual cooking. Vanilla is expensive. Lisa got a "muscly guy" to crank the maker. Ungrateful guests will never be invited back. $180 for soupy ice cream.


Lisa Mix 3
February - June 2004

1. February 11: Lisa cries when she gets pulled over for a ticket.
2. February 11: Narcoleptic traffic report, Lisa nods off during ad read.
3. February 13: Jim Kampman news flub: President Bush had been "erected" once.

4. February 16: Stupid criminal report: looking for a car wash. Lisa's dirty car.
5. Lisa went to a going away party for Gary Hoffman, but she can't remember which station or who's show she was on with him. Young girl chews loudly at theater.
6. Lisa got smooched this weekend. Still driving on spare tire.

7. February 19: Lisa finally got a new tire installed, and could have kept the "premium tire" on longer.

8. February 23: Stupid woodpecker banging on Lisa's metal chimney. Lisa will not stick a plastic owl on her roof.
9. It's not a woodpecker, but a flicker
10. Woodpecker call. Mitch has crows.
11. Lisa had to burp and went to bed with wet hair.

12. March 8: Lisa is such a wicked woman. Tease for another bad experience at the movies
13. Another tease for topic.
14. Lisa's bad movie experience, person sitting behind her kept going "mmmmmm."

15. March 31: Weekly World News: Two in five gynecologists are fake. Lisa's trip to the OGBYN, she asked Lisa questions.
16. Lisa's April Fool's prank on her now ex-husband.

17. April 9: Another Jim Kampman flub: "Prude crisis" for crude prices.

18. April 13: Lisa to go to a Mariners game on Kid's Day.
19. Lisa bad day yesterday in review. She blew out her knee dancing with a 90 year old man. Then she brushed her teeth with sports cream.

20. April 23: Lisa's dog Missy toots
21. May 3: Flub: "Check by and stop out."

22. May 5: Tease for Speckles the Chicken.
23. Speckles the chicken is missing, and Mitch seems indifferent.

24. May 24: Lisa broke her shoe and clogged the toilet.
25. Lisa never keeps the receipts.
26. Lisa sends The Assistant winner Megan out to buy new shoes, at 6:30 in the morning. Lisa is a shuffler.
27. Now the vending machine has stolen $1.50 of Lisa's money.
28. Lisa's day in review
29. Lisa gets worried driving around log trucks and car trucks. The Assistant returns with new shoes and super glue. "Look how cute they are!"

30. May 26: Whatever happened to The Club? Lisa's messy car.

31. May 28: Mitch notices Lisa's firefighter t-shirt. "Don't look at my moneymakers."
32. Lisa judged participants for firefighter calendar.

33. June 2: Midas ad flubs

34. June 3: Ladies night to be banned in New Jersey, tease
35. Ladies night to be banned. Lisa complains that David is "bitchin'" about the wrong thing.
36. Why not sell bacon air freshener? Cure for ice cream headache.

37. June 7: Billy goat wandering around in the road. Lisa once knew someone who owned a goat named Billy, but she can't remember his name.
38. Lisa going on Jury duty tomorrow, so they need listeners to call in with quirky problems to make Mitch feel at home.
39. The noise was too loud at a meet-and-greet public appearance, so Lisa stuck parts of tampons in her ears.


Lisa Mix 4
June - July 2004

1. June 10: Lisa's orange hair intensifies when the sun is out.
2. You may need sunglasses if you meet Lisa. Lisa dyes her hair? Caller advice, home remedies.
3. Orange Hair Disaster, or OHD. Cover up Lisa's mirrors? Mitch has a craving for burgers and fries. "I hate you!" Maybe Lisa should try blonde. More advice.
4. Get off the hair and talk about the Golf Classic?
5. Tease for Lisa's jury experience. Lame Raymond Burr video. They never got to the actual discussion before my usual recording time ended at 9:00.
6. Why not wear a wig to cover up the orange hair? Lisa tries on a mullet wig. Captain Scott sees the hair through the fog.

7. June 11: Missy's knee surgery.

8. June 15: Extreme Dodgeball. Painful school games remembered.
9. Dodgeball team names. Heads Up 7-Up.
10. Lisa refuses to play Heads Up 7-Up.
11. Dodgeball guest stands up Mitch and Lisa. Duck Duck, Goose Goose.

12. June 21: Lisa's hot dogs "slam" themselves against her in bed in the summer.
13. Ladies Night ban update.
14. Time check flub. Lisa spits out random numbers.

15. June 24: Lisa coughs during traffic. "Could you hold my cigar?"

16. June 28: Another dead bird at Lisa's house, at the same decorative bird house. Nature show with wildebeests.
17. Can Lisa remember who did "It's My Life" before No Doubt?
18. Woman gave birth to frog. Mr. Norton's frog legs. Lisa named her frog, put it in the tire swing.

19. July 13: Should you put deodorant on dogs?
20. Celebrity birthdays. Harrison Ford 30 second bio.

21. June 14: Mitch and Lisa's mics are open during Jim Kampman's news report. Then Mitch cuts him off.
22. Mitch tries to apologize.
23. Lisa has to renew her driver's license. Can she get out of the test?
24. License test. How long has it been since Lisa was 16?
25. License test calls. Has Lisa recently lost consciousness? Call from listener who won't admit she works for the Department of Licensing. You might want to do less talking. Arizona licenses good for 50 years? Mitch's old man voice.
26. Lisa takes the sample test. Has technical questions about definitions.
27. Error in ad copy. Lisa bid against Mitch in an auction.
28. Tease for Lisa's smuggling story.
29. Man tried to smuggle money in his stomach. Lisa smuggled Cuban cigars in tampon tubes.


Lisa Mix 5
June - October 2004

1. June 28: Lisa jumped off shed roofs in her yard, and jumped across into the pool. Should they call her Lisa-Kenevil?
2. Tease for unsanitary food at restaurants.
3. Man was served maggoty meatballs. Cashier sneezed on Lisa's take-out food.

4. June 29: Paying it forward: Lisa paid the toll of the car behind her, then got chased. Lisa gave a dollar to a car with a Mix 92.5 sticker.

5. June 30: Lisa is throwing a barbecue at her house. Why hasn't Mitch heard of this before? Steak and artichoke.
6. Lisa thought she was getting a good deal with duty-free liquor, but then had to pay for overweight luggage. Excellent adventure yesterday, Mitch accuses Lisa of confusing him on the bus driver's name. Feeding the octopus.

7. August 3: Lisa's t-shirt: "They're real."

8. August 6: Mitch to Lisa: "Wanna snuggle?"
9. Tootsie Plunkette at Qwest Field.

10. August 17: There's a story about exploding knitting needles, but Mitch seems to be the only one who saw the story.
11. Augmenting personal ads. The boyfriend pillow

12. August 18: Ad read flub. "Cable is spelled with a 'c'?"
13. August 24: Tease for Lisa's swimming wardrobe malfunction. They never got to this before my timer stopped the recording at 9:00.

14. August 26: Lisa has a great nose whistle going on.
15. Lisa's friends in the cheerleader squad didn't tell Lisa that they canceled "Dress Like a Hobo Thursday."

16. September 13: Ad read flub: "Twispy Crispers"
17. September 15: Getting a little better: "Crispy Twispas"
18. September 21: Lisa flashed someone else in the playground for a quarter.

19. September 22: Any advice for someone with "a little drought" in their dating life? Lisa couldn't find a match with her dating service. Win a date with Lisa Foster!
20. Bendy bus/accordian bus. Boys in the women's locker room. It stimulates Mitch's fantasy.

21. September 30: There's construction on the floor above. Mitch and Lisa can hear pounding.
22. More construction pounding. If Lisa likes construction workers, why doesn't she go up there?
23. Lisa blew her knee out playing Red Light, Green Light in a bar
24. Mitch has issues getting his blood taken. Passed out at a urinal.

25. October 4: Lisa's been dumped more times than...
26. October 7: Lisa keeps her pumpkins out until they rot.
27. October 11: Lisa's makeup level is at Defcon 5. She has a blind date on Q-13 News.
28. October 12: Joe call to Pat Cashman about the dating status of both of Pat's current and former co-hosts.

29. October 13: Lisa's Q-13 doggie date.
30. More blind date. (Lisa would refuse to talk about the date on the days after it happened.) Interpreting man-speak.
31. Halloween costumes. Mitch wants Lisa to be his "wench."

32. October 14: Presidential debates. Lisa shouldn't have said "Wooopass" on the air.

33. October 18: Tease for Lisa home improvement fiasco.
34. Lisa tries to install a new light fixture and switch. She has trouble stuffing the wires back into the wall.

35. May 13: Ad flub: Lisa confuses KFC for QFC.
36. September 10: Lisa confused QFC for KFC.




Best of Pat and Chris Cashman 2004 part 2:

Disc 1

Charlie Brown Liners
1. A-1 Stool Softener
2. Artificial Finger Manufacturing Company of Index
3. Downtown Anger Management
4. "If you would like to see the Pat Cashman Show in person..."
5. Short Term Memory Clinics
6. Tollifer's Exotic Juices
7. "For every drop of rain that falls..."
8. Old Man Furguson's Used Throttles, Levers and Handles.
9. Aunt Mildred's Gunnysacks
10. Guests sleep in the lobby.
11. Snohomish County Hairball Recycling center.
12. Larry's Fine Liquor
13. Staff members resent being here.
14. Pat is no longer an exotic dancer.
15. Oily discharge
16. Pat Cashman Show is based on Citizen Kane.
17. Pat Cashman is a ventriloquist.
18. Randy Baneman the Northwest Handyman
19. Seymore's Artificial Muscles
20. Stretch Floral Lace Full-Figure Racer Back Tube Top With Tapered Adjustable Straps and Unique Mesh Liners Boutique of Sedro Woolley. (Notice that Charlie flips "full-lace figure" and "Lace Full-Figure" in the different halfs of the announcement.)
21. Wardrobe for the Pat Cashman Show courtesy of St. Vincent De Paul's
22. Pat's hair maintained by A1 Lice and Cootie.
23. Acme Funny Novelty Company
24. Big Barb's Belly Button Baubles
25. Paula Piercings of Pierce County
26. Starving Student Doughnut Makers
27. Pat does his exercising away from the studios.
28. Chi Chi's Cheese
29. D. W. Clark Fine Girdle and Jockstrap Company
30. The Pat Cashman Foundation
31. Russ's Trusses
32. Not appropriate for the goofy-looking type
33. Gunner Gunderson's Guns
34. Jokes & bits, provided by the King, Snohomish and Pierce County Solid Waste Divisions.
35. Larrys' Gutter Removal
36. No Longer brought to you by the Big and Tall Shop
37. Open Sores Restaurant
38. Pat Cashman Show most popular among primates.
39. "Some settling of contents may occur."
40. Stylish Turtleneck Sweater Store
41. William's Free Range Cattle Farm
42. A-1 Use Anywhere Rash Cream
43. "We will rejoin our commercials after this brief program segment."

Pre-produced Chris Cashman bits
44. Generic television show promo
45. Nordstrom ad parody
46. Concentrator Aid
47. Man-Star
48. Con-Star
49. Christopher Walken is Howard Dean
50. Emperor Auto Glass
51. Fine Furniture Direct Warehouse Superstore Outlet Unlimited
52. Flym's Carpet Scraps
53. Flym's Carpet Scraps II
54. In-Large
55. Pat Cashman Pre-Chewed Food
56. Rich Joe
57. Ultimate Reality Show

Chris Cashman real stories
58. Charlie Con Carne's bad service at the video store, "which shall remain nameless."
59. Bad video service, conclusion. March 14, 2001
60. Chris' role on the television show Citizen Baines. October 5, 2001
61. Chris taste tests Birdie Bott's Every Flavor Beans. Black Pepper.
62. More beans, booger, sardine and vomit. August 22, 2002.
63. Chris steals a car as a joke. April 19, 2004
64. Pat sets up a topic to ambush Chris by playing a rap tape Chris made as a child.
65. More Chris' rap tape. May 13, 2004
66. Chris listens to a spooky book-on-tape while driving in Eastern Washington. It starts coming true. July 1, 2004
67. Chris' uncle and Pat's brother Sean calls. He's the source of Chris' Jessie Ventura voice. (Pat actually dumps the Devo song this time, unlike Ricky Abbott track 4.) September 16, 2004


Disc 2

Dodi Manson
1. Ad pitches, jingles. April 21, 2004
2. Friends fiasco finale. May 6, 2004
3. TV pitch people. May 18, 2004
4. Gas prices, station service. May 25, 2004
5. KVI censorship. June 18, 2004
6. Office notes. July 1, 2004
7. Sign dancers. July 7, 2004
8. Blue Angels I-90 shutdown. August 5, 2004

Miscellaneous Chris Cashman
9. Porky Bickford. March 12, 2004
10. Porky Bickford. June 10, 2004
11. Fred Hopkins not here, so Chris is about to do an impression
12. Fred Hopkins impression. April 2, 2004
13. Chris' impression of an elf. "Matches, matches." April 22, 2004
14. Marky Costello impression. May 12, 2004
15. Live On-Star ad parody. May 18, 2004
16. Crisco fertilizer. June 3, 2004

The end of Chris Cashman?
17. Chris is wiped out doing two jobs a day. August 26, 2004
18. Caller wants to know what happened to Ricky and Dodi. September 15, 2004

Joel McHale
19. Maxmillion the Magnificent, psychic. Miss Dudley call.
20. More Maxmillion.
21. Joel McHale. May 28, 2004

Miscellaneous show stuff
22. Pat, Angela and Chris Kimball are all percussing a song for Name This Tune. A caller guesses the wrong song and then makes her displeasure known. Everyone is too busy drumming to hit the dump button in time. August 6, 2004.
23. Pat says "7-11 Slurpee Time!" December 19, 2001
24. Lisa has learned to say "Slurpee Time" on her separate show.

Ray In Fircrest
25. "The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly." April 10, 2004
26. Slap Happy. April 28, 2004
27. Pat replays Ray's Overactive Saliva call. May 20, 2004
28. Pat reads copy in a voice in tribute to Overactive Saliva. May 21, 2004
29. Pat reports that many listeners want to know the whereabouts of Ray. He tells them. August 26, 2004
30. Walter Brennan. September 30, 2004
31. Arnold Schwarzenegger DVD intro.
32. Joe's response to Ray's recent request for more callers to do impressions. October 4, 2004


Disc 3
Ricky Abbott

1. Vaniya latte. Camel 'piders. April 28, 2004
2. Kinko de Mayo. Beer drinks. Marngaritas. May 5, 2004
3. Eating a banana, exercise. May 12, 2004
4. Pat plays the start of a Devo song, but has to use the dump button. He thinks it worked (because he heard the show live when he checked, but someone must not have built up the delay in the first place). Appropriately, Ricky has "two dumps for the FCC." Stadium address announcer. May 19, 2004
5. Wearing motorcycle helmet. "Pomp-up" book. May 26, 2004
6. Ricky has flat tire.
7. Bit continued after dead air. June 2, 2004
8. Tatoos. Pat Victoria Clipper ad. June 9, 2004
9. Hot latte. Car show. June 16, 2004
10. Pat: "It will be good when Brian is gone because Ricky won't be so distracted." (That's what he thinks!) June 23, 2004
11. Ricky goes to Costco to see Bill Clinton. Sets off fireworks over the phone that can be heard in the studio in stereo. June 30, 2004
12. "Roda Paint." Message board. E-mails, offer to make Ricky "bigger." Nigerian prince. "Where's Brian?" July 14, 2004
13. Ricky sick from celebrating summer. Ricky's owie. Mouth spits. July 28, 2004
14. Jokes, with Chris Kimbal rim shots. August 6, 2004
15. Ricky explained. Back from summer camp. "Pasquito" bites. August 25, 2004

(Missing: much of the "Where's Brian?" era after Brian the intern had left and I didn't have to tape the show.)


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